


An Eye-Opening Education

by RedBear5



Series: Education [1]
Category: The Lord of the Rings (Movies), The Lord of the Rings - All Media Types
Genre: Canon-Typical Violence, F/M, Originally Posted on FanFiction.Net, Sex Toys, Sexual Content
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2015-09-09
Updated: 2015-09-09
Packaged: 2018-04-20 00:03:14
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 15
Words: 54,918
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/4765946
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/RedBear5/pseuds/RedBear5
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Combine an overtly sexual female university student looking to explore her kinks, but having no real experience with violence or primitive conditions, and a sexually naive fellowship looking to destroy a ring. Shake and destroy everyone's innocence.</p>
            </blockquote>





	1. This Could Be Fun

**Author's Note:**

> Disclaimer: I don't own Lord of the Rings, any of J.R.R. Tolkien's recognizable universe, or characters. Speech will be movie verse, which again, I don't own.

Tabatha cursed under her breath as her feet splayed in the snow covered ice. She was trying to catch the bus which was frustrating on the best of days. At minus 30 plus wind chill, today was agonizing. She was a uni student; what choice did she have? She had no funds for a car. She glared down the road.

The last time there was a storm, they cancelled her bus home. They never announced the cancellation to anyone waiting in the inadequate shelters by the outdoor bus platforms; she doubted it occurred to the toasty warm attendants inside. After the second bus failed to show, she ended up walking home. She had to stop and warm up in a gas station to prevent her hyperthermia from going critical. She hated buses.

She was glad she splurged on a proper Canadian parka after the last cancellation. Looks like today would be another no-show. She groaned, then turned to trudge through the shortcut in the woods. Hopefully she could hitch a ride on the main road like during the bus strike.

The wind was biting in the tunnel hood of her coat. She formed it to only expose her eyes, fogging her sunglasses to sightlessness. She peered over the tops of the frames at the treacherous slope as she picked her way downhill, clinging to trees. Her foot slipped, she landed on her ass, sliding down the hill. Her boots failed to break through the thick layer of last week's freezing rain, as she accelerated. 'Ah shit' was her last conscious thought.

...

Tabatha groaned. She was boiling, her head hurt and muscles ached. She fumbled onto all fours as her mental fog began to clear. Leaves crackled under her hands. Water rushing in the distance. Animal snorting sounds behind her. She shook her head.

Two feet appeared in her vision. "Who are you?" a voice asked.

Tabatha sat on her heels, and slid the hood off her head. She pulled off her gloves, putting them in her pockets as she glanced around to find herself surrounded by three gorgeous male blondes, two with wicked looking knives held in either hand. She held her hands up in surrender, forcing her voice to hold a false bravo. "Tabatha Baker."

"For what purpose are you near Imladris?" he demanded.

"Never heard of it." she responded.

"Rivendell then."

"Still never heard of it. Who are you?"

"We don't have time for to delay further. Take her to Lord Elrond. She may be a spy." Came the hard voice from the blond in front of her.

She was forced to her feet, her backpack removed and her hands bound behind her. A blindfold was tied over her eyes. "What are you talking about? Hey, what are you doing? I have rights. You can't do this to me. Help! Somebody help me!" she exclaimed, trying to free her hands. She was tossed over the front of a horse.

Legolas covered her mouth. "If you cannot remain silent, I'll add a gag." She looked toward him in disbelief. The small party quickly moved out.

...

Tabatha was pissed. She was sweltering in her coat. Her stomach ached from where she spent the last hour, head rushing from her inverted position. She had never been on a horse before; she was emphatically against repeating the experience. The bouncing movements made her want to throw up last night's Pad Thai noodles.

Lord Elrond was waiting to greet the party. "Welcome Legolas. What have we here?" he asked.

"We found this one outside your gates. We brought her in for questioning." He pulled the blindfold off her eyes. She blinked in the bright sunlight, trying to focus.

"And what were you doing out there?" Lord Elrond turned to her.

"Doing where? Where the hell am I? What happened to the snow?" She peered around, shaking her head, her overheated cheeks flushed bright red.

"There hasn't been snow in this valley for centuries. Where were you going?" he asked.

"I cut across the woods to hitch a ride then slipped on the ice. Next thing I know blondie is getting kinky and bringing me to you."

Lord Elrond's eyebrow rose. "It seems we have a mystery." He turned to a sentry "Please ask Gandalf to come to my study. Legolas, would you care to join us?" He motioned two sentries to follow with Tabatha. "Arwen will take care of the rest of your party." His daughter nodded and smiled at Legolas.

'This is so not my day.' Tabatha thought.

...

"You may release her Legolas." The first blonde elf approached, carefully untying the knots made earlier.

She rubbed her wrists for a moment, before grabbing off her touque, removing her scarf, and shoving them into a pocket, stripping off her coat and dropping it to the floor. She continued, removing and dropping her pullover. She fanned her tank top to create a cooling breeze, her coloring slowly returning to normal.

She glared at Legolas. "Thanks. Just so you know, I'm so not into BDSM, especially on a first date." she told him sarcastically.

"BDSM? I don't understand."

She paused, startled, before deliberately checking him out, dragging her eyes slowly top to bottom and back again, eyes narrowing as she examined his assets. He really was a hot dish; slender and clean shaven, long hair pulled back from his face, sleek muscles hinted at beneath his clothing. He looked disconcerted under her gaze, so she smirked at him. "Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism, and the hidden DS - Dominance and Submission… in other words… kinky sex games." She winked at him.

Legolas flushed, his ears turning cherry red. He glanced over at Lord Elrond's raised eyebrow and faintly pink ears. Gandalf just chuckled. She burst out laughing at their reactions.

Lord Elrond cleared his throat. "Perhaps if we return to the matter at hand?"

Two hours later, after one cell phone demo (including the display of a sex positions application. She couldn't resist. Their reactions mirrored earlier.) both parties were ready for a break. At least they now agreed she was from someplace other than Middle Earth.

...

Dinner was served in a wide open hall. Tabatha was led to a seat beside Arwen. During a conversation lull she leaned over to whisper "Damn girl, you really don't lack for a view do you? It's model central here. How's the action?"

Arwen asked "Action? I don't understand?"

"You know, relationships, dating, sex and all that."

Arwen went beet red. Every elf in the hall appeared to have frozen, before snapping their head around to watch the two of them.

Lord Elrond coughed. "Tabatha, I think we need to continue our earlier discussion, and include elvish hearing capabilities and customs in this area."

Across the hall, Pippin asked "What'd she say?"

"I don't know Pippin." Merry responded.

Tabatha looked at Lord Elrond confusedly. "Elvish hearing? I don't understand."

Arwen turned to her. "You're in Imladris, home of the elves."

She laughed. "Ya right." She rolled her eyes.

Arwen's face remained serious. "Did you not know?" Arwen asked.

Tabatha shifted to look around the room again. "I really have fallen down the rabbit hole, haven't I?" She shook her head. "This is so not my day."

...

Two days later, Tabatha cornered Arwen in a garden for girl talk.

"Let me get this straight. You guys live for centuries, and only ever have sex with your bonded?"

"Yes, that's right." she replied.

Tabatha paused, before asking "So no taking someone for a test ride before the big day either?"

Arwen shook her head no, looking at her hands, face flushed. "Elves bond during the mating process." she answered.

"What happens if you don't meet 'the one' for centuries?" Tabatha questioned, eyes widened in horror.

"We wait. It's not something we concern ourselves with until it happens." Arwen responded primly, hands folded over her lap, not meeting Tabatha's eyes.

Tabatha flinched. "No sex for centuries? You guys must have one hell of a toy collection. I wouldn't last a month otherwise."

"We don't..." Arwen voice trailed off in embarrassment. She just shifted under Tabatha's gaze, redness gradually fading from her cheeks.

Tabatha watched her for a minute "What happens if someone dies? Would you bond again?"

"We fade without our bonded. We only bond once during our lifetime."

"But you're like immortal! You go centuries without sex, then can lose it early? Damn girl, that's rough. You have my sympathies." Tabatha retreated into thought, before exclaiming. "Hey, wait a minute. That means every unbound elf is a virgin! No wonder the guys were going red when I asked about sex. Are all the other races here also sexually repressed?"

"Most races would only discuss such things between partners, or give advice to their children when courting. I have not heard of any customs otherwise."

"So everyone's a prude? Bloody hell, this could be fun." Tabatha grinned evilly.

Arwen's eyes widened. She pictured the chaos that would shortly follow Tabatha's wake. She was too innocent to imagine the half of it.


	2. Getting Ready in Imladris

Tabatha was requested to never sing again by Lord Elrond. It wasn't that her voice was terrible; she had started her performance in the fire hall with Cascada's 'Bad Boy', then moved onto Pussycat Dolls's 'Buttons' before being escorted off the stage for a change in music. She flopped down beside the hobbits.

"Can't say I've ever heard music like that before." Sam said.

"Then you are sadly lacking in education, Mr. Hobbit. No worries, I can hook you up." Sam blushed.

"Is all your music like that?" Pippin asked.

"Nah, I just like turning the elves red." She grinned. "You guys held out to the second song. I'm impressed." She glanced around the room. She'd cleared part of the hall, but still received embarrassed glances from the remainder.

"You're interested in Prince Legolas?" Bilbo asked.

"Mr. tie me up, tie me down? You're kidding right? I'm still getting payback for his initial greeting." She shrugged. "Besides, it's fun to watch him flounder for a response." She gestured in his direction, where Legolas still appeared frozen in his seat next to Aragorn. He'd been one of her main targets during the second song, when she added hip moves and ass slaps. It was the suggestion that she was ready to strip on stage that finished him off.

...

Legolas shook himself. "I don't understand. Do you understand her Aragorn?"

"What man can say they understand a woman? That one least of all." he replied.

"Her country must be truly different for a lady to exhibit themselves so."

"She's still upset at you ordering her tied up and thrown on a horse. She goes out of her way to make you blush my friend." He smiled as she waved at both them. "Did you think to apologize for your treatment of her?"

"It was a normal response to finding someone outside the gates."

"I don't believe she thinks so. And you'll continue pay for that." he grinned.

Legolas groaned.

...

A voice came from the dark. "You shouldn't encourage the men. If you act like a trollop, the men will treat you as one." Lord Boromir said, stepping from the shadows.

"I'm no trollop." she fired back. "In my country we treat sex as something natural, and not a dirty little secret, never to be discussed. Besides, I have standards."

"And just what are these standards?" he asked.

She smirked at him, locking his eyes. "That's a discussion for another day. For now, I'm off to bed. Sadly alone; but maybe tomorrow I'll get lucky." She winked at him, before flouncing down the corridor.

Boromir watched her depart, shaking his head.

...

Tabatha wandered around Imladris. She was bored. She had been to the training fields, but they were strangely empty. There wasn't much for her to do here, so she'd taken to watching sweaty men and elves practicing when bored. The grace shown in all their movements was mouthwatering, and left her in a state of sexual frustration, but it gave her lots of fuel for fantasies. She shook her head, listening for any distractions.

She followed voices, before seeing a gathering of males sitting in a circle. Merry and Pippin were crouched behind pillars, eavesdropping. Curious, she joined Merry, looking over his shoulder at the Council of Elrond as it started.

"Strangers from distant lands, friends of old. You have been summoned here to answer the threat of Mordor. Middle Earth stands upon the brink of destruction. None can escape it. You will unite or you will fall. Each race is bound to this fate, this one doom. Bring forth the Ring, Frodo."

"It is a gift.*1*" She looked over at Boromir. Words floated from the back of her head. "... It's called a Prince Albert, and it's my precious.*2*" Tabatha choked.

"…And what would a ranger know of this matter?"

"…This little bad boy gets the ladies where their trying to go every time.*3*"

"…Then what are we waiting for?" exclaimed Gimli.

"I suppose you think you're the one to do it?"

"I will be dead before I see the Ring in the hands of an elf!"

Tabatha held her hand over her mouth, trying to not make a sound, tears running down her face, her entire body shaking in mirth.

"Look Merry, there's something wrong with Tabatha."

Merry looked at her in concern.

"Prince Albert" she gasped.

"Who's Prince Albert?" he asked.

"Later guys." She put her finger on her mouth to indicate silence, and continued to listen to the council members.

"I'll take it. Though...I do not know the way…"

"If this is indeed the will of the Council, then Gondor will see it done."

"Gondor will see it done." she gasped. "OMG, they have no idea what I just pictured Gondor watching get done. They'd kill me." She collapsed onto the ground, unable to contain her laughter any longer.

The Fellowship was formed, other parties leaving to new activities. Merry grabbed Pippin and dragged him back to Tabatha, trailed by the rest of the Fellowship and Lord Elrond. She looked up at the collection of people staring down at her, and lost it again.

"Tabatha, what is it?' Merry asked again.

"I've seen the Council of Elrond before." she gasped. "My friend sent me a link to the MTV Easter Egg, even if I'm not a crazy Lord of the Rings fan. That was priceless. I can't believe you guys actually said…MTV is so twisted. That was so funny. You've made my day."

"There was nothing funny in our conversation." Lord Elrond said puzzled.

"What are you babbling about? You've seen this before?" Gandalf broke into her laughter.

"Hell ya. I haven't seen the movies in years, but they're well known. I didn't recognize this place until the council though. I'm horrible with names, and not much of a geek."

...

An hour later, she was cursing her verbal diarrhea. Lord Elrond was explaining "You cannot stay here. Rivendell cannot keep you safe from those who would seek and use this knowledge. If you are found by the enemy, he will not hesitate to torture you for information."

"Where can I go?" she questioned in a small voice.

"You shall join the Fellowship. " Gandalf said.

"Hell no! Not a chance! I know what's coming. Nobody's able to make me. You'll have to carry me tied up in a sack."

"That can be arranged. After your recent tormenting of Prince Legolas, I'm sure he'd volunteer to do the honors." Lord Elrond smirked at her, eyebrow raised.

'This is so not good.' she thought. "What if I change things? I have no idea what happens elsewhere, but the end result of the quest is success. Everyone's happy. You don't want to risk that. Do you?" she tried.

"There is no safe place in Arda anymore. My people are leaving this shore. If you join the Fellowship, at least you will have foreknowledge of the dangers to be faced, and protection of the others. You can help ensure their success."

"You realize I haven't seen the movie in years? I'm not sure how anything goes anymore. I only saw the Easter Egg when my friend sent me a link recently." she pleaded.

"Not a problem. You'll have plenty of time to recollect the events of the tale." Gandalf put in.

"We should get you prepared. Have you any skill in weapons?" Lord Elrond asked.

She glared at him. "Me? Hell no. I'm only dangerous to a steak with a knife, but that's it."

"For what purpose have you been observing the men's training then?" he asked.

"Hello; have you seen the beef-cakes out there? They're scrumptious."

"Maybe your observations have picked up something other than the attractiveness of my men." he said, eyebrow raised.

"I wouldn't count on it. They're hot stuff." she muttered.

"I'll be sure to pass your complements along." he countered.

...

The next day she turned up at the familiar training field for instruction. Aragorn and Legolas were waiting for her. She'd flatly refused to wear a dress. Not a chance. If they were forcing her to do this, she would at least wear comfortable clothing. Besides, who would fight in a dress?

Aragorn stood before a selection of weapons. "Try lifting each one of these, we'll see how you can handle them." As Tabatha worked her way down the line, Aragorn commented. "She'll have to use an elven blade; the others are too heavy for her. Twin knifes might be better, it's less weight in each arm."

Legolas responded "Knives are up close and personal. But they are easier in tight spaces."

She protested "I don't want to be up close and personal to anything violent."

"Legolas, you could teach her the bow first. It maintains distance, without leaving her defenseless."

He looked at Tabatha in hesitation. She grinned, "I promise I won't bite." She winked. He didn't look comforted. Aragorn 's lips twitched, trying to prevent a smile.

After showing her how to string a bow, Legolas tried to correct her position. He repeatedly demonstrated the correct position, but she wasn't able to connect the dots.

"Help me damn it!" she exclaimed in frustration. "Don't just show me, I'm not getting it."

"I'll have to touch you." Legolas warned.

"So touch me then!" she said, rolling her eyes at him.

He bent down to reposition her foot angle. He gripped her hips, twisting them slightly towards him. She glanced at him, eyes darting to catch his for a moment. A pause, before he stepped back, walking behind her. He moved her left arm over, before gripping both shoulders, and rolling them down, stacking them over her hips.

"Good, now release."

Tabatha let the arrow fly. It sailed through the air, missing the target entirely.

"Never mind where it's landing. We'll focus on your posture first. Again."

Many hours later, Tabatha was ready to kill him. If only she could raise her arms.

...

Tabatha was starting to gather things into a pack for the journey ahead. She went through her mental checklist, before realizing a key missing item. She sought out Arwen immediately.

She opened the conversation with "Arwen, I need a dildo." Tabatha plunked down beside her on a bench.

"A dildo? What is this dildo?" she asked, already wincing.

"You know, a masturbatory aid. You can't expect me to go on this journey with 9 males without something? I'd jump the lot of them. Well, not Gandalf. That's just creepy. But at least 3 of them won't make a week before I'd tie someone up and take advantage of them." A Cheshire grin on her face at the possibilities. "You have to help me!" she asked fervently. "Help them!"

"Are they truly in such danger?" she wondered, eyes wide.

"Maybe not, I'm not into noncon (non-consensual sex), but if I don't get something soon, I'm going to explode. Sexual frustration's far worse than PMS, believe me. Elrond's just lucky I have only been ogling the merchandise, and not making payments."

...

Twenty minutes later they were at the wood carver's, explaining what a dildo was.

"You want to have sex with a tree?" he asked, face beet red, an appalled expression on his face.

"Absolutely. Here's what I need you to carve." she drew in the ground a rough shape, "Realistic and generous please. I'm used to a vibrator. And make sure there's no slivers either. I'd hate to ask the guys for a retrieval operation; they're still rather innocent. I can't corrupt them too quickly." She winked at him. "There'd be nothing to corrupt for me later."

His eyes shot up. "As you request milady." He said addressing Arwen, studiously avoiding Tabatha's gaze." I'll have it finished by dinner hour."

"Great. I can take it for a test drive tonight then." Tabatha exclaimed.

The wood carver looked faintly nauseous.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> 1 /2 /3 MTV Easter Egg of the Council of Elrond.


	3. Starting the Journey

"We must hold this course for 40 days. If our luck holds, the Gap of Rohan will be open."

Tabatha was not happy. Her feet were sore, and she still hadn't recovered from the last practice session with her bow. "You know, I grew up in a civilized place. There were way-stops along the highways with food, drink and washrooms every 30 minutes or less. I don't see any here."

"You can go behind a tree."

"Really? That's what you're offering? A tree?" she responded scornfully. "And how exactly am I going to wipe my ass and wash my hands?"

"Most people use leaves, and find a stream."

She grumbled, but disappeared for a few minutes.

An hour later she couldn't take it anymore. "Gandalf, I have an issue."

"What is it this time?" he sighed, turning to face her. The rest of the Fellowship stopped to watch them.

"Ever since you guys made me go in the bushes, I've been getting a burning itchy feeling down there."

"What did you use to clean yourself?" Aragorn asked.

She pointed at a nearby plant. The rest of the Fellowship started to chuckle.

"You used poison ivy to clean up?" he asked.

"Yes!"

"Poison ivy?" he repeated in disbelief.

"You didn't tell me there were bad leaves! I didn't know that there were bad leaves!" she exclaimed.

"We'll need to find a stream, so you can wash." He sighed. "I have a burn paste you can use afterwards."

"How do you not know of poison ivy?" Sam asked.

"Hello, city girl here. Trees are planted down the sides of the road for shade, and parks for kids and dogs. Other plants are contained in nice neat little rows in a garden. I lived in a land of cement and steel. I was happy there; they had bathrooms." she reminisced. "Even Imladris was better than this." she sighed.

Aragorn handed her the burn paste again at nightfall. "I don't suppose you'd help a lady apply the cream?" Aragorn looked at her and rolled his eyes, before shaking his head to wander off for firewood.

"Inspect the damage maybe?" Tabatha called after him. She muttered to herself. "Thought not. Prude." She headed behind to the stream to bath and wash her clothes. One icy stream later, and the burning again subsided to a manageable level. Bathing was so going to suck. That stream was cold!

She pulled on a change of clothing. She headed back to camp, wet clothes in tow. "So, where do I hang these? Is that bush safe?" she asked, pointing to one near the fire.

"Yes, it's fine." Sam answered. He regretted his decision in a moment, when her lacy undergarments were spread in full view of the company.

"How are those clothes functional?" Legolas asked in undertones to a returned Aragorn. Unfortunately, Tabatha heard him.

"Well blondie, their purpose is less to cover female assets, and more to get a rise out of male ones." She deliberately dropped her gaze southwards before smirking into his eyes with a wide grin. "If you ask me nicely, I can demonstrate how they work." She winked.

Legolas went beet red, again. This time he was joined by most of the Fellowship. There were a few quick throats cleared, before the subject was quickly changed to supper. No further comment was made on her clothing for weeks afterwards.

…

Legolas approached Tabatha during dinner the next day. "Can you not forgive me for my actions on our first meeting?"

She looked at him surprised. "I have forgiven you."

"But yet you continue to torment me."

"Of course! You've made it so easy!" she replied, poking him in his ribs. "It's fun. You look like a cherry. It suits you, adds color to your face." She grinned, eyes meeting his.

Looking away, he asked quietly. "Is there nothing I can do to make you stop?"

"Legolas, look at me." He met her eyes. "If it bothers you that much, I can lay off."

He smiled in relief. "That would be good. Thank you."

"Not a problem. What brought this up anyways?"

Legolas went quiet. Every time Tabatha approached him, he had butterflies in his stomach. He was convinced that her constant sexual innuendoes had led to his disturbed state. He was starting to have inappropriate dreams during the night, and waking up to discover himself hard. It was frustrating. It should not happen to him. But how to explain? "I cannot say. It's been building for a while." he confessed.

Seeing his struggle, she put her hand on his shoulder, and stroked it gently before squeezing lightly. "You don't have to justify it. It was just a question. It's ok."

He smiled gratefully into her eyes. They were pools of endless depth, shimmering at the top, deepening into blue shadows at the root. They were captivating.

...

"If anyone was to ask for my opinion, which I note they're not, I'd say we were taking the long way round. Gandalf, we could pass through the Mines of Moria."

"Shorter? I can do shorter." Tabatha raised her hand and waved it about. "Your cousin has baths right? Proper warm baths to soak in?" she turned to ask Gimli.

"Of course he does. My cousin, Balin, would give us a royal welcome."

"I'm in." Tabatha repeated.

Gandalf squashed the conversation "No Gimli, I would not take the road through Moria unless I had no other choice." He wasn't explaining why so Tabatha scowled at him. She was distracted by Pippin's outcry.

"Sorry." said Boromir, after accidently slicing Pippin.

"Get him! For the Shire! Hold him! Hold him down, Merry!"

"Gentlemen, that's enough." Aragorn He approached to break up the fight. Soon there was a pile of hobbits and men rolling on the ground.

"What is that?"

"Nothing, it's just a whiff of cloud." Gimli said.

"It's moving fast. Against the wind." said Boromir.

"Crebain from Dunland!" Legolas cried.

"Hide!" Aragorn called to everyone.

Tabatha dove under some rocks, hiding her face. She felt a warm weight drop on top of her. A faint woody scent drifted to her nose as she was forced to inhale sharply. She shifted to relieve the pressure on her lungs.

"Don't move." Legolas hissed. He breathed in slowly, trying to slow his pounding heart. Gradually the tension faded from his body, melting him against her. He tried to focus on the call of the birds overhead, instead of the softness he was protecting. Finally, the calls disappeared, and he was able to move.

Tabatha paused, before muttering to herself. "Bloody hell, I think I'm going to need some quality time with Herbert tonight." Legolas gave her a strange look as he held out a hand to help her up.

"Spies of Saruman! The passage South is being watched. We must take the Pass of Caradhras."

...

"We'll stop here for the night."

They had been travelling for a few weeks now. Tabatha was slowly getting used to the ideas that there were no bathrooms, no hot water and only hard ground to sleep on. She still didn't like it, but there was no other choice.

"How are your feet?" Legolas asked. He'd noticed her starting to limp earlier in the day.

"Swollen and blistered." she replied.

"You must take care of them on the road. Let me see."

Tabatha painfully removed her shoes, before peeling off her socks. She had blisters on the bottom of her feet, and a toenail had rubbed a bloody wound into its neighboring toe.

Legolas inspected her feet by fading daylight, treating the blisters, and trimming her nails with a small knife. When he began massaging in a foot balm, she moaned in relief. "OMG, you're hired." she muttered. "You can give me a pedicure anytime."

Legolas smiled softly. "Tell us about your country. What do you do that you're so unused to walking?" he asked.

"Well, we drive everywhere. Horseless carriages. I'm a student, so I use one supplied by the city. We have elevators, so we don't do stairs. Not much anyways. Elevators raise people and things through a building quickly. It's a challenge for some people to make 10k steps during a day. I'm one of them. I was always so busy studying." He nodded at her to continue.

"What did you study?" asked Frodo.

"Corporate mergers and takeovers, that sort of thing. It's useless here."

"You are a scholar than." Boromir said.

"Hardly. Sort of. In my country it's mandatory for everyone to have at least 12 years of education." She poked Legolas in the ribs with her toes. "That includes sex education."

"They give you classes in sex?" he exclaimed, appalled. He looked around to meet equally astonished looks from the rest of the Fellowship, jaws dropping everywhere.

She looked at their faces. "Yes they do!" she exclaimed, dissolving into a fit of laughter, tears soon running down her face. It took her a few minutes to recover, before she could explain. "They cover the theory, there's no practical's. Well, only a couple. Mostly how to use a condom."

She met blank stares. "I still have some in my bag. Anyone object to an education? Speak now or forever hold your peace." The Fellowship exchanged leery looks, before nodding their heads for her to continue. She reached into her wallet and pulled out a shiny package. "Now where's Herbert?" she muttered under her breath, feeling around inside her bag.

"Who's Herbert?" Pippin asked confusedly.

"Herbert's a what, not a who." She gave a cry of triumph, pulling the dildo out of the bottom. "This is Herbert." She displayed him to the group. "He's a dildo."

Legolas started, staring at her hands. "This is Herbert?" he questioned, remembering her comment to get friendly with Herbert earlier.

"That looks like a…" Pippin stared.

"I know what that looks like Pippin." Merry said, eyes wide.

"Why is she carrying it." he asked, turning to Merry in puzzlement.

"I don't know Pippin." Merry replied, shaking his head.

"Where did you get that?" Aragorn asked.

"I had Arwen help me acquire it." Tabatha grinned at him.

He froze. "Arwen assisted you in acquiring this?"

"Yes." She winked at him, "No worries mate. It was only after I explained it was to protect your virtue, that she agreed to help." She smirked, waving her finger at him. "I saw you both on that bridge."

Aragorn smiled and fingered the necklace Arwen had given him. "It was a good night." he said to himself quietly.

She let out another laugh."If you think that conversation was bad, you should have witnessed the reaction of the local wood carver. That was too funny."

"There's only one wood carver left in Imladris. He carved you this?" Aragorn asked.

"Yup. He's been alive since the dawn of this age. And apparently hasn't seen everything yet." she chortled. She looked down at her hands, before explaining. "There's two ways to apply a condom. I'll demo the fun way." She carefully extracted and placed the flavored condom in her mouth, placing her tongue in the tiny reservoir. She used her teeth to unroll the rest, down the length of Herbert. "See, no big deal."

She grinned at them, holding Herbert up, before passing it to Gandalf. He just smiled at her, passing it on to the hobbits. Sam passed it quickly to Pippin, almost afraid to touch it, whereas Pippin examined it closely.

"What's it for?" he asked, passing it on to Merry.

"It's used to prevent unplanned pregnancies. There are other ways as well."

Boromir examined the condom in the fading light. "It's well made. I cannot see any stitching."

"None involved. I think it's a type of tree resin. I just use them, I don't make them."

He passed it to Aragorn. "The wood carver must have spent a lot of time finishing this. Or did you assist in the polishing?" Boromir teased.

"Nope, it was all him. Of course, I also told him I'd need help from someone from this group to remove any splinters." She winked at Boromir. The entire Fellowship froze, universally flushing bright red, except Gandalf who laughed.

"Very cleverly played, Tabatha." he said.

"We're all grateful for his skill." Aragorn said. The others nodded their heads in agreement.

...

Frodo fell, sliding down the mountain.

"Frodo!" Aragorn exclaimed.

Frodo collected himself, checking if everything was ok. He noticed the missing ring. He spotted Boromir walking down to pick up the chain.

"Boromir!" Aragorn called.

Boromir said in a trance "It is a strange fate that we should suffer such fear and doubt over so small a thing. Such a little thing."

"Boromir! Give the Ring to Frodo." Aragorn called.

"As you wish. I care not." Boromir responded, before handing it to Frodo, messing up his hair affectionately.

...

"We dare not risk a fire."

Tabatha was warm, but aside from Legolas she was the only one. "Time to get friendly with your neighbors boys. Who's going to be my friends tonight?" She received puzzled looks from the Fellowship.

"Are we not all your friends milady?"

"Yes, but you can't all fit under my coat and get snuggly warm, now can you. So who volunteers?" Nobody moved. "Fine, I'll pick my own teddy bears." She swooped down, scooping Sam and Frodo under her coat, holding them close. They sighed as heat enveloped them.

"Hyperthermia is no laughing matter gents. In my country we rate how cold it is by how long it takes your skin to freeze. At minus 60, that's 30 seconds. Metal freezes when it's that cold. This feels like only minus 20, but you need to manage your temperature." She lectured. "Get over any inhibitions you have, and think survival. Stick your hands under your arm pits if you don't want to lose them to the cold. Stick your feet in somebody else's, with theirs in yours. Share your body heat."

The men exchanged uncomfortable glances. "Maybe we will risk a fire then?" Aragorn offered.

...

"There is a fell voice on the air." Legolas cried.

"It's Saruman." Gandalf responded.

"He's trying to bring down the mountain! Gandalf, we must turn back!" Aragorn shouted.

"No." Gandalf denied. He tried to counter the rolling voice of Saruman, without success. The mountain fell on the Fellowship. Slowly they dug themselves out of the snow.

"We must get off the mountain." Boromir cried.

Tabatha, reaching down to pull up a hobbit. "So not arguing there. We're not properly equipped for the cold or the mountains." She looked Sam over for injuries, brushing the snow off his clothes.

"Make for the Gap of Rohan and take the west road to my city!" Boromir exclaimed in frustration.

Aragorn countered "The Gap of Rohan takes us too close to Isengard!"

"We cannot pass over a mountain. Let us go under it. Let us go through the Mines of Moria." Gimli demanded.

"Let the Ring-bearer decide. Frodo?" Gandalf questioned.

Frodo looked around at the Fellowship, trying to feel for the best solution. "We will go though the mines."

"So be it." Gandalf said sadly.

Tabatha did a jig in relief.

 

 


	4. Moria

"This reminds me of dancing." Tabatha said randomly. Aragorn looked over at her, and raised an eyebrow.

As they had descended the mountain, Legolas had changed from daily archery lessons to training her with knives. Today Boromir assisted, with Merry and Pippin looking on.

Currently Boromir stood behind her, right arm wrapped around her shoulders, sheathed knife to her throat, while the other arm wrapped around her waist to pin her to his body. Legolas stood before her, coaching her how to disarm Boromir without slitting her own throat.

Boromir pressed the knife harder against her throat, growling menacingly. "Do you think I'm dancing with you? Focus."

Tabatha grinned. Ignoring the knife, she placed her right hand over his fingers, slowly caressing down to his wrist. She gripped his wrist, running her thumb back up his hand to grip the base of his thumb, circling it in his palm. She dropped her voice into sultry tones. "Oh baby, I'd love it if you were dancing with me." She rotated her hips against his groin, with a slight moan.

Legolas was shocked. He had definitely not been showing her that!

She used her left hand to secure his arm to her waist, as her left foot slipped between his legs to run her toes down the length of his calf. Her left foot planted behind his, she pulled his right arm slightly away from her throat, allowing her to partially turn to address him. "Did you want to make this a vertical or a horizontal dance?" she asked, running her tongue over her lips.

Boromir's eyes flicked to the distraction of her mouth, before looking startled into her eyes. His grip loosened for a split second. Tabatha used the opening to throw him to the ground, knife still held away from her body. She trapped his arm into an arm bar, adding pressure to his elbow until his hand released the knife.

"Sorry my dance card's full. Maybe next time hon." She turned to Legolas. "Isn't that what you demo'd with Boromir?" she asked him innocently.

"Certainly not!" he responded, ears cherry red.

"Well, maybe you should try it then. It certainly made Boromir lose focus." She smirked towards the downed man, now red faced, giving him a saucy wink.

"That's one way to distract him." muttered Aragorn "And give us all bad visuals." He shook his head.

Boromir got off the ground, and presented Tabatha to Legolas, with a roguish grin "With that, I'll give you back your student for personal coaching, Legolas. Perhaps you will keep better focus when working with her than I did." Gimli guffawed in the background.

"So, did you want to dance with me?" she asked grinning at Legolas, waving the sheathed knife at him.

"Supper. It's time for supper, right Sam?" he asked desperately, looking towards the fire for help.

She pouted at him. "Spoil sport. You spoil all my fun."

…

"Do not disturb the water." Aragorn said, pulling the hobbits back from the edge. They were scattered around in various postures of boredom, waiting for Gandalf to find the password to open the doors to the mine.

Tabatha slowly beat her head against the walls, humming to herself. Legolas approached her, sitting on his heels next to her. "What is it you hum? It's different than your other music."

She hesitated. "It's a sappy song."

"So not all your music is made for embarrassment?" Legolas asked with a smile.

She grinned at him. "Nope. But the reactions I got in Rivendell were priceless. I cleared half the room, and, I also got out of singing again." She winked at him. "You seemed to enjoy it too."

He winced, but ploughed on "Would you not sing this song? I'm drawn to the melody."

She studied his eyes, seeing the sincere interest in them, before turning away to focus in the distance over the water. He settled down beside her. She began to sing softly 'She's Like the Wind' by Christopher Cross.

He put his hand over hers. Her eyes rose to meet his. "You hold a treasure of music. You should share these gifts with others."

Uncomfortable, she teased "All the songs I know?" She grinned, eyebrow rising.

He flushed, shook his head and didn't answer, looking away.

They were distracted by Frodo calling out: "It's a riddle. 'Speak 'friend' and enter.' What's the elvish word for 'friend'?"

"Mellon." Gandalf said. The doors opened with a shudder.

Gimli came up beside Legolas to crow "Soon, Master Elf, you will enjoy the fabled hospitality of the Dwarves. Roaring fires, malt beer, ripe meat off the bone! This, my friend, is the home of my cousin Balin. And they call it a mine. A mine!" He laughed heartily, picturing the welcome in his mind, smile radiant on his face.

"Sounds like a party. I can't wait." Tabatha danced ahead of them to the entrance, skipping around the hobbits to get there faster. She paused in the entrance, waiting for Gandalf to light his staff.

Legolas smiled reservedly back, pacing the dwarf through the gates. "I look forward to it my friend."

In the stark light the Fellowship halted. "This is no mine. It's a tomb." Boromir yelled.

Tabatha stood, looking around in horror. Vaguely she heard cries from others in the Fellowship.

"No...No!" Gimli wailed.

"Goblins." Legolas said, pulling a black arrow from an armor plated corpse.

"We make for the Gap of Rohan. We should never have come here. Now, get out of here. Get out!" Boromir yelled to the Fellowship.

Tabatha's eyes were captivated by the mummified skeletons surrounding her. She'd never seen death before. Not in person. Not of people. She'd been too young to go to the funeral of her grandfather. Her other grandparents were still alive. She'd only seen death on TV, or in movies. Road kill occasionally.

The bodies were in torn and tattered armor. Blood had long ago dried to dirt stains on the bodies and crumbling stairs. She remained fixated on the remains, not noticing the weapons drawing around her.

A splash behind her, a movement in her peripheral vision and the hobbits frantic calls jolted her from her petrified stance. She turned to see Frodo dangling from the squid. Aragorn and Boromir dashed forwards, swords swinging as arrows raced into the fray.

"Into the mines!" Aragorn called.

Legolas grabbed her arm as he passed, and dragged her further into darkness.

"Into the cave!"

"Run!"

The squid brought the entrance crashing down. Tabatha's breathing was harsh, gulping in air.

"We have now but one choice. We must face the long dark of Moria. Be on your guard. There are older and fouler things than orcs in the deep places of the world." Gandalf said.

"Are you alright?" Legolas asked in concern.

"No…No, I'm not alright." she responded.

"What's wrong?" his question attracted the attention of the others.

"I've never seen death before." she answered in a strangely flat voice. Her answer startled the rest of the Fellowship.

"Never?" he questioned, seeking an answer in her eyes.

"It's not exactly common where I come from. Old people die. People die in accidents, or from disease. They die in hospitals, not out in the open." her toneless voice replied, eyes unfocused in memory.

"They don't die of violence?" he asked quietly.

"Maybe in other countries. There's some family violence and criminals but most people don't see it. I saw a fistfight outside a bar between two guys once. They both were drunk. That's it." Tabatha's sight returned to see Legolas looking at her with compassion.

"Sounds like the Shire." Merry said in sympathy. "We were only hit if we were caught liberating food, but no other violence either." He shook his head in memory.

"It must be wondrous to live in a place that knows so little fear of violence. Here, even the elves fear to travel. We have many who defend our borders who have seen and dealt much death. We have lost many in the fight." Legolas said sadly, wrapping his arm around her shoulders.

She leaned against him for a moment, before starting to shake. "Guess I'll have to get used to it." she sighed.

"I'll help. It's strange to me too." Pippin said, slipping his hand into hers.

"Thanks Pippin." She squeezed his hand for a moment.

"Quietly now." Gandalf admonished. "It's a four-day journey to the other side. Let us hope that our presence may go unnoticed."

…

The first night was quiet, everyone feeling the darkness pressing down, depressed from earlier events. The second night was better. They had managed to find a small storage room, easily defensible, in which to spend the night. They sat around eating dinner, when Tabatha was asked once again about her homeland.

"Let's not and say we did. I'd rather do something to cheer us up." she said.

"Like what?" Pippin asked.

"Well, whenever we had sleepovers, we used to sit around, tell ghost stories and play games."

"You want to tell ghost stories in Moria?" Gimli asked in abhorrence.

She shrugged "So no ghost stories."

"What game would you play in a mine?" Aragorn asked.

She said an evil grin. "We could always play 'Truth or Dare'. It would definitely distract you from this place."

"What's 'Truth or Dare'?" Pippin asked with interest.

Gandalf looked over at her. "I'll keep watch then." he said, quickly wandering out of the room.

…

Sometime later, Boromir turned to Tabatha. "I dare you to kiss the elf. On the lips." He smirked at her. Legolas just glared at him in apprehension.

She shrugged her shoulders, got up, and dropped to her knees in front of Legolas. Eyes wide, he stared back at her. She grinned, before reaching up to slowly stroke his temple with her fingers, trailing the outside of his ear before resting her hand on his jaw. He shuddered. She leaned forward, tilting his chin up to meet her. Her lips descended slowly, placing a soft innocent kiss on his lips. She stroked again along his jaw line with her thumb as she leaned back, before returning to her place in the circle. Legolas remained leaning forward, frozen where she left him, until Gimli's howling laugher broke his trance.

"Liked that did you?" Gimli asked Legolas, poking him in the side.

Legolas flushed in response, attempting to ignore the gleeful dwarf.

Tabatha looked at Boromir. "My turn. You want to play dirty, do you? I can get down with that." She rubbed her hands together. "What's your poison? Truth…or dare?"

Boromir started to look back at her a little uneasily.

Aragorn looked at Boromir in sympathy, shaking his head. He'd already figured out that letting Tabatha have a turn was a bad idea when she was explaining the rules of the game. Frodo and Sam had quickly dropped out to 'catch up on sleep', and thus avoid playing. Gandalf never started. He knew Boromir was asking for trouble playing with her.

"Truth." he said with hesitation. During his last dare she had made him strip off his tunic. She had whistled and clapped as he removed it, embarrassing him thoroughly. Truth couldn't be that bad, could it?

She smirked. "How often do you masturbate?"

Gimli started desperately coughing and clearing his throat. Merry and Pippin looked between them wide-eyed. Aragorn flinched. When Legolas looked confused, Aragorn whispered a single word in Sindarin, after which Legolas looked appalled.

Boromir shook his head, his face flushed. She couldn't really be asking what he thought, could she? "That is not a conversation for a lady." he tried with trepidation.

Her eyes locked with Boromir's. "No worries mate, I'm not a lady. Now answer the question." she demanded.

Dismayed he replied "It's not something to discuss." wishing the ground would open and swallow him.

"Don't worry, I'm not asking for details. I could make that the forfeit." she grinned at him.

If possible, Merry and Pippin's eyes grew wider.

Alarmed, Boromir glared at her, unable to speak. The others looked on as he was unable to hold her gaze, instead fixating on the floor in front of him, shoulders hunched.

"Just tell us how often." Tabatha prodded. "If you're really trying to tell me you've never tried it, are you sure it still works?" she teased.

A quick darting glare stabbed her eyes. "It works." he growled.

"You're not married. If you don't play with yourself, how do you know?" she asked in a falsely innocent voice.

He caved. "When there's no need for night watches." He wiped his face in his hand for a moment, before retreating to relieve Gandalf.

By common consensus, Tabatha never got another turn that night, or any other night in the mines.

…

"I have no memory of this place." Gandalf said.

"Are we lost?" Pippin asked.

"No." Merry responded.

"I think we are." he replied.

"Gandalf's thinking." Merry shushed him.

…

"You like her don't you." Aragorn whispered to Legolas, watching him carefully.

"She makes me confused." he confessed. "Sometimes my thoughts scatter around her, like leaves on a windy day. Other times my mind goes blank at her touch." He hesitated. "I'm drawn to her."

He smiled "You're falling quickly my friend."

"I cannot." he replied.

Aragorn's lips twitched in response. "I don't think you have a choice."

…

"Let me risk a little more light. Behold...the great realm and Dwarf-city of Dwarrowdelf." Gandalf said.

"There's an eye opener, and no mistake." Sam whispered in wonder.

Tabatha stood in revere, eyes trying to absorb every detail. "Wow. And you did it with such primitive tools too." she said.

"Primitive?" Gimli cried offended. "I'll have you know Dwarves are masters at mining. There's none better in Middle Earth."

"Relax Gimli. It's a compliment. Even in my world, this place would take years to build." Tabatha told him, slapping him affectionately on the shoulder.

…

"'Here lies Balin...son of Fundin...Lord of Moria.' He is dead then. It is as I have feared." Gandalf sighed.

"We must move on. We cannot linger." Legolas cautioned the group. He was ignored in favor of Gimli.

Tabatha stepped forward to wrap an arm around Gimli in comfort. "I'm sorry for your loss Gimli." she said to the wailing dwarf. He made no acknowledgement of hearing her.

Gandalf handed Pippin his staff and hat, to enable him to pick up a book from the ground. He began to translate the last entries in the volume. "'They have taken the bridge and the second hall. We have barred the gates...but cannot hold them for long. The ground shakes. Drums...drums in the deep. We cannot get out. A Shadow moves in the dark. We cannot get out. They are coming.'"

On cue, Pippin knocked over the skeleton into the well. As the Fellowship turned to him in alarm, the attached chain rattled against the edge, pulling a bucket after it. The clattering echoed loudly in the room. Pippin flinched, wilting under the glares surrounding him.

"Fool of a Took! Throw yourself in next time, and rid of us of your stupidity." Gandalf ordered harshly.

The Fellowship froze in a pause of stilted silence, listening, before drums sounded a staccato beat in the deep. Frodo's sword Sting began to glow blue. "Orcs." someone cried out.

Boromir looked out of the room, before slamming the door, narrowly avoiding being shot with arrows. "They have a cave-troll." he said in dismay.

"Let them come! There is one Dwarf yet in Moria who still draws breath." Gimli challenged, climbing on top of the tomb, brandishing his axe.

…

Orcs broke the reinforced door, piling into the room. Arrows fired to meet them, stopping few. Swords were quickly drawn. Then the cave troll lumbered in, chains whistling in the air as his handlers lost control.

Tabatha was not happy. She was backed in a corner, knives drawn. The troll swung his chains near her, breaking off chips of the wall as shrapnel. "Whips and chains excite me." she muttered under her breath, leaping out of the way. Blood ran down the side of her face from an orc blade. She also had a cut to her arm, and scraped her knees diving from another.

"I think I'm getting the hang of this." Sam called from next to her.

Legolas looked over at them. His adrenalin surged higher as she dived from the troll, only to face an orc with blade raised. Quickly he launched an arrow into its skull. She looked at him, waved and raised her knives to meet the next, black blood streaming down the blades. He turned to fire arrows into the troll.

…

"Frodo! Frodo!" Sam fell to his knees next to Frodo, sobbing.

"Oh no!" Aragorn cried in alarm, turning him over. Frodo stirred under his hand.

"He's alive." Sam exclaimed.

"I'm all right. I'm not hurt." Frodo said.

"You should be dead. That spear would have skewered a wild boar." Aragorn said in disbelief.

"I think there's more to this hobbit than meets the eye." Gandalf peered down at the hobbit.

Frodo unbuttoned his shirt to reveal his armor.

"Mithril. You are full of surprises, Master Baggins." Gimli said.

New sounds of orcs broke into their obliviousness. "To the Bridge of Khazah-dum!" Gandalf cried.

…

"What new this new devilry?" Boromir questioned in panic.

"A balrog. A demon of the ancient world. This foe is beyond any of you. Run! Quickly!" Gandalf commanded.

…

"You cannot pass!" Gandalf cried. "I am a servant of the Secret Fire, wielder of the flame of Anor. The dark fire will not avail you, flame of Udun! Go back to the shadow. You shall not pass." Gandalf drove his staff into the bridge, holding firm against the horror before him.

The balrog fell from the bridge, flicking his whip as he fell to grasp hold of his bane. "Fly, you fools." Gandalf gasped out, before falling into darkness.

…

The Fellowship reeled into the light. Expressions of shock and horror had crossed each feature, finally etching sorrow into each face.

Aragorn was the first to recover. "Legolas, get them up." he commanded.

"Give them a moment, for pity's sake!" Boromir berated him.

"By nightfall, these hills will be swarming with orcs." he chided. "We must reach the woods of Lothlorien. Come, Boromir. Legolas. Gimli, get them up."

The four of them worked to collect the remaining group. "On your feet Sam." Aragorn coaxed. Boromir placed his arm around Merry, turning him to join the others. Gimli brought Pippin into with a comforting hand on his shoulder.

Legolas approached Tabatha. She stood perplexed, staring into her memories. She remembered Gandalf. He was there at the end. Had she destroyed the storyline? The details were foggy in her head, trapped. "Gandalf's supposed to live." she repeated to herself in disbelief. It was a broken tape, repeating in an endless echo.

Legolas pulled her into a quick hug. She wrapped her arms around him, responding to his stimulus, unaware of her body. He ended the hug, leading her to join the group. Pippin's hand grasped hers in a hard squeeze, as slowly the Fellowship collected itself, making haste for the promise of sanctuary and comfort.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> BTW – adding sexual content to Moria was a challenge!


	5. Lothlorien

At their first rest stop, Legolas was treating her wounds. "How do you say thank you in your language?" she asked.

"Le hannon." (Sindarin, Thank you) he responded.

"Le hannon." she repeated. "Le hannon for your arrow Legolas. I would have been dead without it." She shuddered in memory, still somewhat in shock.

He looked into her eyes for a moment. They still showed traces of confusion and sorrow, but were overwhelmingly filled with gratitude. He nodded his head in response, raising his hand to finish cleaning the wound on her head. "You need more practice in facing orcs." he told her seriously.

She gave him a tiny smile. "You'll just have to kill the next cave troll faster so I can focus."

His eyes flicked back to hers as lips twitched in response. "I'll do my best."

…

"The dwarf breathes so loud, we could have shot him in the dark." Haldir smirked down at Gimli, stepping between archers with weapons drawn.

"Haldir of Lorien. We come here for help. We need your protection." Aragorn pleaded.

"Aragorn, these woods are perilous. We should go back." Gimli said nervously.

"You have entered the realm of the Lady of the Wood. You cannot go back. Come she is waiting." Haldir scowled down at them.

…

Haldir demanded that Gimli be blindfolded to be escorted through Lothlorien. Gimli vehemently disagreed being the only one, creating a stalemate until Aragorn said. "We will all be blindfold, even Legolas."

Legolas whispered to Aragorn "You know she'll make both you and Haldir pay for this, don't you."

"It's the best solution." he groaned back, shrugging his shoulders.

"Legolas, you have to tell me. Are all elves into BDSM?" Tabatha asked as the blindfold was tied around her eyes.

"BDSM?" Haldir asked.

Legolas winced, shaking his head. "Don't ask. Please just don't ask." he pleaded.

"In fact a gag for her would not be remiss." Boromir called.

"Hey, that's not right. I didn't need a gag the last time I was blindfolded." She poked him. "Tell him Legolas. I don't need a gag."

Haldir sent an inquiring look towards Legolas.

"It wasn't necessary…Of course we didn't know you yet." Legolas said with a little smirk. Aragorn's lips twitched, while Boromir broke into a laugh. Some tension fell off the rest of the Fellowship.

"Finally, a smile!" Tabatha did a little jig. "Lead on to rest, a warm bath and a proper bathroom. You have no idea what these guys have put me through. They never even warned me about the leaves!"

Aragorn stopped Haldir from asking. "You don't want to know."

"Sure, I see how it is. Cover up your abuse of my person. The truth will out!" Tabatha cried, before settling down to a long dark walk, still grumbling to herself.

…

They retired to a pavilion at the base of the tree, setup for the Fellowship. They had been there for a few days, and Tabatha was bored. Wounds had started to close, even most bruises starting to fade. Frodo still had one from the troll spear, but would be fine in a few weeks.

Tabatha had racked her brain over the last months to remember most of the key events from the movies, but only vague images that made no sense to her had formed. She knew Gandalf would be back, but not how until last night. She had felt the call to follow Galadriel to her mirror.

"Will you look into the mirror?" Galadriel asked her.

"What will I see?" Tabatha asked with curiosity.

"Even the wisest cannot tell. For the mirror shows many things. Things that were… things that are...and some things that have not yet come to pass." Galadriel said.

Peering into its depths, Tabatha watched the movies repeat before her eyes. She also saw the MTV alternative version of the Council of Elrond.

Galadriel's expression had been shocked as she also watched. She probed Tabatha "Did you tell the others about the second council?"

"No; I've been l protecting their innocence." she smirked at Galadriel.

Galadriel gave a light tinkling laugh, trying to keep a straight face.

"I need to corrupt them a lot more before we get into a discussion of sexual piercings. I'm not sure the hobbits will ever get there. I'm also sure the location of the One Ring piercing will disturb them all." She laughed again, tears again running down her face.

"You have surprised me greatly Tabatha. I hold more hope for the future with your visions played before me. I am saddened by the loss of so many dear to me."

Tabatha offered. "Now that I remember fully, perhaps I can make a difference. There are only three deaths I recognize. Boromir, Haldir and Theoden. Theoden's son died too, but I don't know any details to be able to change anything. Beside a river isn't helpful." She looked down for a moment. "Maybe then I won't be useless baggage." she said sadly.

"How will you prevent them?" Galadriel asked in disagreement. "You are no warrior, even with the training you've received. A few months of practice will not make a difference to change their deaths."

Tabatha thought out loud. "Well, ensuring Boromir doesn't collect firewood without a shield is a start. I have in mind a few other ideas. For instance, do you guys have any silk cloth here?" she asked.

"What's your idea?" Galadriel asked.

"I'm thinking that the Fellowship and your troops need a new look." Tabatha bounced on her tired feet. "Starting with silk undershirts. After all, they worked for the Mongols."

...

She had been training daily with Legolas in knife fighting. Her fighting was improving, but damn, she was in heat. This morning's exercise was a repeat of disarming techniques. When she tried the same trick on Legolas, he lost his composure.

"Do you think you would try that with an orc! Again, properly this time." he demanded.

She sighed, and tried again. Without success. And again. And again.

Finally she asked to change positions, to see what she was missing. Her right arm slid around his shoulders, as her left wrapped around his middle. She held the sheathed knife to his throat. A second later she was on the ground.

"You're going to have to go slower if you want me to learn anything." she grumbled at him. She got back in position, sliding her arms around him. A familiar faint woody scent drifted back to her nose. She breathed in with a sigh. He broke down the movements slowly, turning to see if she caught the difference. Her eyes were held captive by his for a single eternal moment. It was broken by clapping from Boromir.

"I see it doesn't matter which position she's in, she succeeds in being an effective distraction." he called to them.

Legolas flushed red, closed his eyes for a moment, and stepped away before saying "Perhaps that is enough practice for today. Tomorrow we'll try something new."

"But I haven't got this right yet." she said quietly.

"As Boromir said, your modifications appear effective." he said, refusing to meet her eyes.

…

She retreated back to the pavilion before lunch. She dug Herbert from her bag, before announcing to Aragorn "I'm going to go have a long discussion with Herbert. I've missed him. With the choice scenery around here, I'm liable to explode or tie someone up to jump if I don't."

"That would not be a good thing. Please keep the discussion quiet. The rest of us are innocent still." Aragorn said with twitching lips and a shake of his head.

She smirked at him. "I'll do my best not to corrupt you all. At least not until you ask." She winked at him, before calling to everyone. "Try not to miss me. I'll be busy. Don't do anything I wouldn't do."

"What's wouldn't she do?" Pippin whispered in confusion.

"I have no idea." Merry responded with trepidation. "I'm afraid to ask."

…

"Lunch will be brought to you shortly." Haldir said to the Fellowship, looking around. "Where's the girl?" Haldir looked down at his friend.

"Down that way." Aragorn told him, pointing. "Do not disturb her right now, it would not be wise." he cautioned.

Haldir heard her faint cry. Ignoring Aragorn, he signaled his brothers to flank him, as he drew his bow and crept through the trees.

Aragorn rolled his eyes. "You've been warned." he called after them.

"Oh Herbert, I've missed you so...that's the spot." She moaned, breathing quicker, gyrating on the ground. She lay on a blanket in a small clearing, stark nude. One hand travelled over her body, caressing, while the other moved Herbert in a slow rhythm. Her eyes fluttered open at the sound of a twig snapping.

"Did you come to watch, or did you want to join in?" she leered at Haldir, running her eyes down his body, mentally striping his clothing off. Her eyes returned north to see his shocked expression.

Haldir was stunned. He'd never come across a situation like this in all his thousands of years. He'd never even heard stories of one. With nothing to go on, he floundered. His eyes darted to either side, to where his brothers waited with equally red faces.

Her eyes followed his, spotting them as well. Her Cheshire grin grew wider. "I've always wanted to try multiple partners. I'm sure I can accommodate. I'd love to have something hard to swallow."

She moaned again, arching against the pressure Herbert was applying to her insides, rubbing a thumb on her clit.

She put a finger in her mouth, sucking hard on it, before continuing "I've missed oral. My fingers don't work, and Herbert here just doesn't satisfy. Besides, there's only one of him. Won't one of you come over here and accommodate me? Be a good host?" she fluttered her eyes in their direction.

"Rumil, Orophin return to the Fellowship. I'll handle this." Haldir commanded in consternation. Beet red, his brothers retreated, speechless as they gratefully vanished back along the trail.

"Goodie." Tabatha exclaimed. "Well, don't be shy. Drop your pants, get a hard on and get over here."

His eyes widened further. He snarled at her "Your behavior is inappropriate."

"You need to return to the Fellowship now, and stop what you're doing." He demanded, voice rising towards the end, studiously looking over her head, trying not to see her in his peripheral vision.

She immediately protested. "But I'm not finished! Can't I get at least one happy moment before returning to the prudes? It won't take long, especially if you help." She winked at him. "We could both be happy." she suggested with a twinkle.

"You're finished now. Dress." he commanded, his voice snarling.

She sighed. "Fine then. Can you hold this?" She held Herbert out to him. "I need to clean it. I assume you'd prefer we visit a stream, unless you want me to lick it in front of you." she teased, eyebrow rising.

He eyed it in revulsion. "Why would I agree to hold such a thing?"

"It's a handle. That part hasn't been used." She held it in front of him again.

"What?" she exclaimed in frustration. "It's not like I suggested you get intimately acquainted with Herbert, now did I?"

Impatiently she thrust it against him, forcing him to either grab the handle, or allow it to touch his clothes.

"I'm just asking you to hold it while I dress like you're demanding. It's just a piece of wood. You're an elf. You shouldn't be afraid of a tree." she said with exasperation.

She turned, unembarrassed by her nudity, quickly wiped herself with some 'good' leaves, and dressed.

"So, where's the nearest stream." she asked, walking up to him to take Herbert back, deliberately holding Herbert with reverence in front of her.

…

Their expressions drew laughter from the Fellowship.

"What do you supposed happened to them?" Gimli asked, watching Rumil and Orophin returning red faced down the path.

"Herbert." Aragorn answered.

"Oh."

"You should travel with her." Gimli called after them. "I think Legolas has spent more time red than any other color." he said with a snort.

They both flinched in unison, fleeing the area.

…

Erdolliel was a pompous ass. She'd been forced to sit beside him and Tolandiel during a feast. Erdolliel was completely appalled that a 'delicate flower' like her was forced to travel without a chaperon while his friend Tolandiel was equally appalled that Tabatha had to travel in pants. So she went completely prima donna on them.

"You have no idea how agonizing it's been traveling with _nine_ guys. All of them are uneducated louts and don't treat me well." She pouted.

"I would think that Prince Legolas would treat you as befitting a lady."

"Well, he's been nice." she sighed. "He even asked me to sing after the others banned me. But he's the only one." she said sadly, giving an eavesdropping Legolas a covert wink.

"What's it been like?" Tolandiel asked in concern.

Dramatically Tabatha spilled the story "Well, they spoil all my fun. First they don't allow me to sing. My voice isn't that bad, you know?" she cast her eyes downward, bringing them up with a wet shimmer. "Next they're upset at me mentioning dancing. I don't have a clue why." She shook her head in false bewilderment. "I love to dance!" she sniffed. "Lastly they even barred me from playing games…How fair is that!" She finished on a high distressed note.

"That doesn't seem very nice." Erdolliel commented.

She fluttered her eyes at him. "You'd play games with me, wouldn't you?" she asked in a quivering voice.

"Yes I would." Erdolliel said resolutely.

"On your honor? You'd really play with me?" she peered at him hopefully, blinking away her threating tears.

"You have been treated deplorability by your companions' milady." Erdolliel said, scowling over at the Fellowship. "I would be honored to play a game with you." he replied. "I'm certain Tolandiel will be equally as chivalrous." he added.

"You're so sweet." She smiled up at him. She gripped Erdolliel's hand a moment in gratitude. "Le hannon (Sindarin, Thank you). Will you come to our pavilion tonight? You and your friends?" she pleaded.

"I'll be there, milady." he assured her.

…

"Should we warn him?" Gimli asked.

"I don't think I could find the right words." Legolas said.

"Besides, wouldn't it be more fun to watch him experience her full effect?" Boromir smirked. He hurried after Erdolliel.

"You have pointed out our errors noble elf. It would be most remiss of us if we were to allow this travesty to continue. Please allow us to chaperon this game. On our honor we would not prevent Tabatha from playing, and will watch your example closely." he assured the elf.

Erdolliel looked at Boromir uncertainty. He was missing something, but he nodded in agreement, before walking away.

"Oh Boromir, darling, I knew you didn't hate me." Tabatha grabbed him from behind in a hug, resting her head on his back.

He turned to face her, smile on his face. "You cause trouble wherever you go, Tabatha."

She gave him a sly wink. "I'd promise to behave if you'll join us."

"Like you did in the last game?" he asked in disbelief.

"I behaved only as long as you did. You could promise too." she offered slyly.

He leaned forward to whisper in her ear "And what did I do wrong?" he asked in trepidation.

She whispered back in his "You dared me to kiss someone who wasn't you. You shouldn't have brought Legolas into it." She prodded him in the stomach.

"You would prefer to kiss me?" he asked, looking at her with surprise.

She slapped his arm. "You wish. I'm currently surrounded by a banquet of dreamy males." She fluttered her eyes, dramatically clutching her heart.

She studied his face for a moment. "You might rate a Friend With Benefits title if you get lucky, but you're no main course."

She patted his cheek in mock sympathy. "Sadly, you'll have to look elsewhere for a woman who'd have you. Do try not to cry, ok?" she consoled him.

He laughed and nodded.

She walked over to the rest of the Fellowship to let them know the plans tonight. "Bye-bye boys, I've found some new friends. I've invited them back to our place tonight. " She waved her hands at the Fellowship.

"If you're not coming, do try to have fun without me; but don't do anything I wouldn't do." she called cheerfully, skipping out the door.

…

"I see you look at him. You undress him with your eyes." Haldir said to her, watching her track Legolas in the afternoon crowd.

She ran her eyes deliberately up his body. "Honey, he's not the only one I'm undressing. You're all candidates."

He flushed, before responding "He will not love you."

"You're implying I've asked him to." she countered.

"He is a prince. An elf for whom love is immortal. He will not fall under the spell of a harlot."

"I'm no harlot." she parried.

"Really? You propositioned my brothers and I just yesterday. _At the same time_." he ground out.

"As if you'd accept. You elves are too much a bunch of prudes to join in an orgy. Asking you to was just hilarious. Consider it punishment for not letting me finish." she smirked at him, before poking him in the stomach. "You were warned not to disturb me; I double checked."

"I heard you cry out. I had to investigate." he returned.

"So you're the self-assigned voyeur?" she asked in disbelief. "After all, I was only playing by myself when you interrupted."

"And with Herbert."

She glared at him. "Please." She waved his objection away. "He doesn't count. He also serves the purpose of preventing me from tying someone up for my own pleasure."

He pulled back in shock. "None of our kind would take pleasure in someone tied up."

"Really? Legolas did, the first time he met me." She smirked at him. "I dare you to go over right now and ask him if he didn't get any pleasure having me on my knees and bound before him within minutes of meeting me."

He looked at her appalled.

"No? If you're too scared, then I will. I'll also tell why I'm asking, and you're not." she challenged. "Tonight, during game night. You'll be there right? You're not too scared to play a game with me are you?" she taunted him.

He looked into her eyes. "Challenge accepted."

…

She poked Boromir in the side as they walked back to the pavilion that night. "Now remember, be fair to others; don't involve them in a dare they're not ready for."

"You think he wasn't ready?" he asked, looking at her sideways.

She looked at him seriously, before asking quietly. "Do you know if he has even been kissed before? Not knowing that, would you make his first kiss in front of an audience? Something to be teased for?"

Boromir looked ashamed for a moment. "I did not think of it like that. Earlier I saw his eyes follow you with interest, and asked you to do what he would not."

"Thus your public humiliation in turn. Now, anyone thinking about that game is more likely to recollect your humiliation over his." she grinned up at him.

He grimaced in agreement. "As you say, milady."

…

Word of a new game had spread. A crowd had gathered around the pavilion to watch. Tabatha addressed the crowd, explaining the rules quickly. She settled into the circle, surrounded by most of the Fellowship, Erdolliel, Tolandiel, Haldir and his brothers.

Boromir leaned over to advise her new friends in undertones. "Don't try to match her. She'll eat you alive." His serious warning filled them with trepidation.

The first masturbation question from Moria, when posed to Rumil, dispersed most of the crowd, including all other females. The dare to Orophin, to demonstrate a kneeling sexual position cleared more. Like a tragedy before their eyes, the remaining male population was trapped, frozen in horror, ears painted cherry red, watching the spectacle before them.

"Haldir, please tell us, why do all elves seem to carry blindfolds and bindings if they're not into BDSM? And do explain the acronym for the more innocent among us." She winked at him.

"I'm unfamiliar with the term." he said.

"You are that innocent?" she teased in false astonishment. "Legolas, did you want to help translate the acronym?" she called over to him.

"The floor is yours." he parried.

She grinned evilly. "Brilliant. Well, BDSM stands for "Bondage, Discipline, Sadism, Masochism, and the hidden DS - Dominance and Submission. Any and all can be used in kinky sex games. Bondage; tying up a partner for sexual pleasure. Discipline is punishment for misbehavior, including spanking and whipping of a partner. Sadism; getting sexual pleasure causing pain in a partner. Masochism; getting sexual pleasure receiving pain from a partner. Dominance and Submission; two sides of a coin on who rules in the bedroom. All of it should be done with prior consent, and a safe word to stop the play."

Her new friends now looked like facing a balrog would be a more relaxing way to spend an evening. Boromir leaned over to them again. "This is why we refused to play with her." Erdolliel and Tolandiel nodded in horrified enlightenment.

By this point, everyone in hearing range was red, some looking faint. So she repeated her question "So Haldir, why do all elves seem to carry blindfolds and bindings if they're not into BDSM? Do they want to be?" she asked, smiling innocently at him.

"Border guards carry blindfolds and binding to bring spies in for questioning, alive. Other elves do not. We do NOT carry them for sex games." Haldir ground out.

"If you're too innocent to have heard of BDSM, are you sure you should be answering for the rest of them?" she smirked at him.

He took a deep calming breath, before turning to the prince. "Legolas," Haldir asked, "did you get any pleasure having Tabatha on her knees and bound before you within minutes of first meeting her?"

"She was found outside Imladris, and taken in for questioning as a possible spy. She was able to prove she was not." Haldir nodded, reassured at his friend's answer.

Tabatha shook her finger at him, "Tut, tut Legolas, you didn't answer the question. That's why you bound me, not how you felt. So tell us," her smile changed to an evil grin. "were you pleased to have me kneeling bound at your feet?"

Legolas glared over at her.

"From that look, not as much as he would right now." Gimli crowed gleefully. "If he could add a gag."

"Gimli's right. Before I took more _pleasure_ in capturing a potential threat, but worried about others that may have been missed. Now I would be _most pleased_ to have my embarrassment ended, even if it included binding and gagging."

She smirked at Legolas. "Kinky. For you, anytime." She held her wrists together for binding, but shrugged when he didn't follow through.

She sighed tragically, shaking her head. "I started to fear I've corrupted you but you are still so innocent." She held her pose for a moment, before she threw up her hands in mock disbelief. "What am I saying? Everyone here is."

She shook her head in horror. "What has become of my life. Am I doomed to be surrounded with prudes and get no action?"

…

Aragorn sat, smoking his pipe after lunch, contemplating last night's events. He was sure the elves would never be the same after her visit. His eyes rose to meet Galadriel's. She smiled at him in amusement, before he heard her voice inside his head.

"Do not worry. She does more to distract them from the war than you realize. Her open enjoyment of her body and its needs will have some questioning reasons to wait to fall in love and bind themselves. Having an immortal life takes away the urgency to overcome fears of intimacy. Her pleasure will have them thinking the benefits may be worth it."

Aragorn nodded at her words. "Following her inspiration, children will overrun these woods."

"That would not be a bad thing."

…

She stopped Legolas with a hand to his chest. "So you'd like me bound before you?" she teased him in the morning.

"You continue to torment me." he sighed.

She stroked his arm in sympathy. "What would you do with me next?" she asked with a smile, looking into his eyes.

He was speechless.

She leaned forward, almost touching his lips, to whisper. "Would you kiss me?"

Her warm breath heated his lips, surrounding him with a minty scent. She waited, patiently.

He breathed in deeply, closing his eyes to sigh. "You tempt me." He opened his eyes, floundering for something to latch onto. She met his gaze with confidence.

His head was spinning. His heart accelerated in his chest. He was lost.

He breathed out. He let himself fall as his lips softly met hers. She sighed.

…

The Fellowship was wearing their new undershirts. It wasn't hard to convince them; Tabatha ordered each member to change into theirs, promising to shred their over tunics to ribbons if they didn't wear them at all times. A second undershirt was given to each, to be unpacked during washes. She promised to verify their use at every rest stop, with additional dire consequences should they fail to abide her orders.

Rebellion ceased entirely when Galadriel reaffirmed their necessity. Complaints, however, continued.

They now stood on the bank of the river, receiving other gifts before departure. Tabatha was sad to leave; she had found peace here, and they had toilets.

She embraced Galandriel, and whispered "I'll try to find a way to save Haldir. Try to get a hat on his head. Ensure the others march with the new undershirts. It may save a few more lives."

Galandriel nodded to her, and waved goodbye.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This one has more sexual content again, but poor Legolas is spared the worst. Everyone else isn't.


	6. The Corruption of Boromir

Slowly the Fellowship paddled down the river. Tabatha sat in the boat with Legolas and Gimli softly singing Enya's 'Wild Child' under her breath. Legolas sat at the back of the boat, slowly paddling with a soft smile on his face, listening to her sing.

"Seems a pointless song to me. All this talk about nothing." Gimli grumbled.

"Very well, Gimli. How about this one?" Tabatha switched to Nickleback's 'If Today Was Your Last Day'. Gimli grunted, happier.

"I thought you'd choose one that would turn the elf red again." he grumbled.

"Maybe this one will also turn you red." She winked at Legolas, who regarded her with rising trepidation. She sang Def Leppard 'Pour Some Sugar On Me' loud enough for the entire Fellowship to hear.

Legolas glanced at Gimli to discover his eyes were wide and his face was burning. The entire Fellowship appeared to be shocked into silence, only the rhythmic splash of the paddles in the water making any sound. Unanimously they avoided looking in her direction.

Tabatha looked around at the surrounding cherry red faces and smirked, before dissecting the song. "Sugar refers to sex of course. The bottle and bubble references always make me picture long lines of flavored lube bottles instead of some girl losing her virginity. I guess I'm too literal at times." She sighed.

From the next boat, Pippin perked up to ask "What flavors does lube have?"

"I don't know, anything really? Fruits, nuts or spices. Though they use spices for other effects, like warming and freezing lube."

"Why would you want those?" Pippin asked with curiosity.

"Well, the warming one's great, it adds heat to the action until you feel like you're burning up. Great for a quickie. Freezing is good to slow the action down, for an all-day love fest."

"I think I'd go for flavors myself." he said.

"Really Pip? I thought you guys only had sex after marriage."

"Yes that's true. But one day I'll marry. I'd use flavors then." he responded, shaking his head positively.

"Flavors are good for oral sex, but there's these great condoms that have freezing on the inside, and warming on the outside. They're great to drive someone insane with lust."

"Why would you want someone insane with lust?" he asked.

"Pippin, you are so innocent." she responded with a smile, shaking her head.

"Gimli, please don't challenge her again." Aragorn ordered at the next break. "For all our sakes." he said taking a deep calming breath. "Some of us like being innocent."

…

Boromir wasn't happy. Tabatha was still making them all wear the stupid undershirt, and true to her word, was checking each member was wearing theirs at every stop. Legolas wore a blue one she had said brought out his eyes. That was the same reason Aragorn was given when he had received a grey one.

She didn't give him a pretty explanation like that when handing over his pink shirt. There had been a limited supply of un-dyed silk in Lothlorien; profits were higher on colored fabrics. Pink was actually one of the more expensive, right after purple.

It was also a color used exclusively by _females_ in Gondor.

His expression had shown he wasn't impressed when it was presented to him. "This thing is hot." he complained, seeking a reprieve.

"I will allow you to take off other layers Boromir, but the undershirt and your armor stays on." Tabatha told him. "I don't care if you're bathing. It's now part of your skin and will stay there until we're secured indoors somewhere. And you better believe I'll start checking your compliance during your bath if I have to." She turned to the rest of them. "That goes for the rest of you too." She glared at them all.

Aragorn gave an exasperated look towards Boromir. The shirts weren't that bad, and based on Galadriel's backing, he suspected they would play a key role in what was to come. Based on Tabatha's reactions, he knew Boromir would be involved.

…

"Frodo. The Argonath. Long have I desired to look upon the kings of old. My kin." reverently Aragorn told the hobbit. The Fellowship paddled in awe between the twin warning statues, tiny in their shadow.

…

The next morning, Legolas woke with a sigh. During the night his dreams had been nebulous, filled with an unnamed longing, and the remembrance of Tabatha on his lips.

"Had yourself some good dreams last night laddie?" Gimli smirked at him in the morning.

"What do you mean?" Legolas

"You were talking in your sleep." Gimli responded.

"What did you say?" Pippin asked Legolas.

"I don't remember." Legolas said, flushing red and carefully avoiding looking in Tabatha's direction.

"What did he say?" Pippin asked Gimli.

Gimli glanced over at Tabatha. He had realized she was protective of his embarrassment. "Well, I don't rightly know, it was in elvish. But he seemed happy enough." Gimli said dismissively.

Pippin went to ask another question, when Merry stopped him with a shake of his head, and a low whisper to drop the subject.

…

Finally, the Fellowship approached Rauros Falls. Aragorn lead them to the nearby shore, securing the boats. "We cross the lake at nightfall. Hide the boats and continue on foot. We approach Mordor from the north." Aragorn told the group.

"Oh yes? Just a simple matter of finding our way through Emyn Muil…an impassable labyrinth of razor-sharp rocks. And after that, it gets even better. Festering, stinking marshland as far as the eye can see." Gimli ranted in objection.

"That is our road. I suggest you take some rest and recover your strength, Master Dwarf." Aragorn told him.

"Recover my strength." Gimli sputtered.

"We should leave now." Legolas said uneasily.

Aragorn refused. "No. Orcs patrol the eastern shore. We must wait for cover of darkness."

"It is not the eastern shore that worries me. A shadow and a threat has been growing in my mind. Something draws near. I can feel it." Legolas cautioned.

…

In the distance Boromir saw Merry and Pippin quickly being surrounded by uruk-hai. He ran towards them, sword drawn. He stopped the blow from the first uruk-hai to reach them. Taking a moment, he blew loudly into his horn.

"Run! Run!" Boromir called to them, trying to get them to move to safety while he covered their retreat. Merry and Pippin were frozen in shock, looking back at him. Resolutely he stood, determined to defend his companions against the increasing odds.

Over the ridge, a large uruk-hai raised his bow, launching his arrow towards Boromir. The arrow struck his shoulder; Boromir was knocked off-balance to the ground.

He stumbled to his feet, swinging his sword in increasing desperation. The second arrow hit his left side. Pain exploded in his brain, as he felt his blood weep from the wound. He fell to his knees for a moment, facing the hobbits. Using sheer determination, he rose once more to inflict further damage.

Tabatha double-timed it towards Boromir from the river, bow in hand. She spotted the uruk-hai with the deadly arrows. Shaking, she stood with her bow, desperately hoping she could make this shot. Her arrow launched, slicing open the arm of the uruk-hai. It was not enough to kill him, but it impacted his aim enough to send his third arrow into the bushes.

"Oh shit. This was not supposed to happen." Tabatha cried, as instead of slowly walking towards Boromir, the uruk-hai was now focused on planting arrows in her belly. She ducked behind a tree, preparing another arrow as the Uruk-hai approached her position.

Boromir, seeing her situation, lurched in her direction. He tripped on an exposed root, and dropped to his knees into the forest floor. Other uruk-hai ran passed him without pause.

Behind him, Merry and Pippin's defensive efforts were ignored as insignificant as bug bites were. They were picked up and slung over the shoulders of the enemy. Triumphant, the uruks ran off with their prizes.

…

Elsewhere in the woods, Legolas had heard the Horn of Gondor. He raced with Aragorn and Gimli towards Boromir.

Aragorn appeared first over the rise, tackling the uruk-hai archer. Victorious after a short fight, he sank to his knees beside Boromir.

"They took the little ones." Boromir told him.

"Stay still." Aragorn tried to calm him.

"Frodo. Where is Frodo?" Boromir continued in distress.

"I let Frodo go." Aragorn told him quietly.

"Then you did what I could not. I tried to take the Ring from him." Boromir confessed.

"The Ring is beyond our reach now." Aragorn said.

"Forgive me. I did not see it. I have failed you all." Boromir said despondently.

"No, Boromir. You have fought bravely. You have kept your honor." Aragorn told him. He reached for the first arrow.

"Leave it. It is over." Boromir told him. "The world of Men will fall. And all will come to darkness and my city to ruin." he despaired, tears in his eyes.

Looking deep into his eyes, Aragorn promised "I do not know what strength is in my blood but I swear to you, I will not let the White City fall nor our people fail."

Boromir looked at him with a spark of renewed hope. "Our people. Our people. I would have followed you, my brother. My captain. My king." Boromir passed out into Aragorn's arms.

"Hell no, this is not over. Aragorn, can you heal him?" Tabatha asked.

Legolas ran up. "Lle anta amin tu?" (Sindarin: Do you need help?)

"Help me get him back to our camp. We can treat him better there." Aragorn replied.

…

She assisted Aragorn in helping Boromir to lie down. Carefully, they worked his armor off.

"How is this possible?" Aragorn wondered. The arrows looked normal, but the damage wasn't. The arrows had pierced no more than an inch into his skin.

"Unlike leather armor, which acts as a barrier, the undershirts act as a kinetic brake. The silk wraps around the arrow, dramatically slowing the projectile, decreasing penetration depth. It's why I insisted everyone got some, especially him." Tabatha said.

"You knew this would happen." Aragorn stated.

"Yup, it's also why I wanted him in the pink shirt. They didn't have any red in stock, and I don't like seeing blood." Tabatha winked at a rousing Boromir. "Besides, he also looks good in pink. It matches his cheeks when he blushes."

Aragorn gave a tiny laugh. "How did you learn this?" he asked her.

"Mongols used it back home. It was one of the secrets to their success; they lived on horses and were almost impossible to kill with any arrow other than a crossbow." Very successful against the Romans who had similar armor to Boromir's."

…

"Hurry! Frodo and Sam have reached the eastern shore." Legolas called out, as he launched the boat into the water. Tabatha casually threw Boromir's broken horn into the bottom of the boat. When Legolas didn't hear a response, he turned to look at Aragorn.

"You mean not to follow them." Legolas stated.

"Frodo's fate is no longer in our hands." Aragorn told them.

"Then it has all been in vain. The Fellowship has failed." Gimli said.

"Not if we hold true to each other. We will not abandon Merry and Pippin to torment and death. Not while we have strength left." Aragorn implored them.

"Leave all that can be spared behind. We travel light. Let us hunt some orc." Aragorn told them.

"Yes!" Gimli cried out rousingly.

"No!" Tabatha countered back. The men turned to face her. "You three can track them. We have another task."

"I will not abandon Merry and Pippin. It is due to my failure that they were taken. I shall not fail in their rescue." Boromir stated.

"No actually, you're not." Tabatha sat down. "I have something to confess. While with Galandriel, we both saw the movies. And the Easter Egg." she smirked in fond memory. "I'm not supposed to be here. And now, neither are you." she said, facing Boromir.

"What do you mean?" he asked.

"Boromir is only injured; but he should have been dead. I've changed things, but for the next three weeks, everyone else must believe that he is dead; or the right people will not make the choices they need to make to ensure the Ring is destroyed." She took a deep breath.

"So we need to fake his death. Going back to Minas Tirith or anywhere else in Gondor is the last thing we can let you do. You also won't be able to keep the pace they'll make." she argued.

"And I might be up to walking it now, but there's no way I could run with you guys." she said looking at the three standing males.

"We shouldn't separate. There's strength in numbers, and more uruk-hai wander the land." Aragorn argued. "We face a large group holding the hobbits."

Tabatha shook her head negatively. "You three are needed for the next bit, we're not. Without us, you'll be successful. Boromir and I can protect each other in the meantime."

"I'll also need your help to plan the next change I promised to try to make." she said, turning to Boromir. "Galandriel helped save your life. We need to help her now." Tabatha pleaded.

Boromir nodded reluctantly.

At her insistence, Boromir's horn, shield, and various enemy weapons were sent over the falls. Aragorn was given Boromir's armored wrist guards, to remind him of his promise to protect Minas Tirith. Tabatha insisted on adding a loaf of lemmas to the trio's kit.

Before leaving, Legolas pulled her aside. "When will I see you again? Where are you headed?" he asked, hand on her shoulder. Surprising him, she pulled him into a tight hug, inhaling his faint woody scent and whispering into his ear "Have no worries. I do know where you will end up. Boromir and I will meet you in less than a week's time." They broke apart.

"Promise me you'll stay safe." Legolas asked her, looking deep into her eyes.

"You know me. I'm not into violence; I'm ok with running from it." Tabatha grinned at him. "Take care, and look after the others. Gimli will have trouble with the pace."

Legolas nodded reluctantly. He leaned down to give a chaste kiss to her lips. She sighed and smiled reassuringly at him.

"Good hunting." she called to the departing trio, touching her lips.

…

"We'll leave for Edoras in the morning. Rest now, I'll keep watch." She settled Boromir into blankets, sitting beside him. She sang Ne-Yo's 'Heroes' as a lullaby as he slowly drifted off to sleep without protest.

In the morning, Boromir was almost acting like his old self. "Are you sure it's wise to travel only with me? People will judge you a trollop." he asked her the next morning.

"You know I'm no trollop. The Fellowship would be significantly more corrupted by now if I was." she smirked at him.

"Yes, you said before you had standards. You also told me I might be a Friend With Benefits. You never did explain either…" Boromir trailed off, looking at her expectantly.

"I said if you were lucky you could be a Friend With Benefits." She winked at him. "A Friend With Benefits is a friend who's also a part time lover. No romantic ties, just if you're both free from other entanglements and in the mood, you have sex with each other."

"You want to have sex with me?" Again, she had surprised him.

She lightly slapped his arm. "Not now. You have a couple of holes in your chest. They'd rather break the mood; I'm not into blood games, you know?" she said, smirking.

"And if I wasn't injured?" he asked.

"Not sure. I'm still figuring this place out. Starting something surrounded by guys, while on a dangerous quest sounds like a recipe for disaster. There's still questions on how I got here." she responded.

"And you like Legolas." He gave her a roguish grin.

"I do. But I'm worried about the differences. Not just the species and politics, he understands them better than I do, but in cultures. I seemed to have turned both Imladris and Lothlorien on their heads within weeks. Imagine what I would do to his father's kingdom in a longer period." She looked worried, then laughed. "If I haven't made the history books for destroying elvish culture already, I'd like to avoid that notoriety. With their life spans, the world would die before my infamy."

"He's falling for you." Boromir cautioned.

"I know. I'm falling for him too. It's easier for me to control, I've been in previous relationships. I also know why they failed. With each one I've grown, but each comes with its own scars."

"It's made you scared." he said.

"Yes. There are too many questions that need to be answered before we start a relationship. This quest is a great pressure cooker. When it's over, will we even have anything in common?" Tabatha scanned the horizon, before meeting Boromir's eyes. "He's not exactly a casual dating type of guy." she said quietly.

"I think you can trust him to know his own heart." Boromir reassured, placing his hand on her shoulder.

"So tell me about this Easter Egg you keep referring to." Boromir asked.

Tabatha turned to him with a smirk…


	7. First to Edoras

Tabatha looked over at Boromir. They had been walking silently for a couple of hours now, and every time he looked over at her, he still shivered. She was getting bored.

"Do you want to talk about yesterday?" she asked.

"What do you mean?" he hesitated.

"You been pretty depressed and kinda hopeless. Gondor won't fall you know." she told him.

His shoulders hunched. "The Ring. It called to me. It told me how I could use it to save my city." He looked at her, helplessness reflected in his eyes.

She rolled her eyes. "Duh, it's an evil ring. It lied."

"Now Frodo and Sam are lost in Emyn Muil. I failed in my sworn duty." he berated himself.

She nudged his shoulder, before saying "The Fellowship had to break. It's one of the keys to its success."

"What do you mean?" he asked in puzzlement.

She smiled at him. "I trust you can keep this next bit confidential?"

Boromir nodded.

She revealed "Frodo and Sam will pick up a guide in Emyn Muil; not the sort you would have chosen. Sméagol aka Gollum. They'll soon have some help from Faramir; and explaining to him why you died will secure it. He loves you a lot."

Boromir smiled at her. "He's a good man. If only my father could see it."

"He will." she said. "Merry and Pippin will find Treebeard. He's an Ent we'll catch up to in a few weeks. Those trouble makers will convince Treebeard to rouse the Ent's and wake up some very angry trees; they'll be a sight to see."

He looked at her in wonder. "I thought they were only legends."

"We'll need their help shortly." She grinned at him, before continuing "Aragorn, Gimli and Legolas will chase the hobbits into Fangorn, where they'll pick up Gandalf. He's Gandalf the White now, by the way. We'll meet all of them in Edoras, where Théoden is currently under a spell. After he's freed by Gandalf, and Grima leaves the city, we can rejoin them."

"You said you needed my help?" he asked.

She nodded her head. "We'll be in a big fight during the next few weeks; I need your help to save Haldir. As it stands, he'll direct his men to retreat, and be struck from behind and killed. We have to change that."

"Protecting someone during a battle will be difficult." he warned her.

"Why do you think I asked for your help? If we can get a helmet on his head, and good cover fire to his position, his odds will improve. Other than that?" she shrugged. "Ideas?"

"I can protect his back during the fight." Boromir offered.

"I was hoping you'd say that. Until then, we'll still need to work on my fighting skills, especially archery. I'm sure you'll agree you don't want me firing too close around you. I'm not Legolas." He winced, agreeing.

"We have another problem too." Tabatha stopped herself, biting her bottom lip and thought hard. 'No, we can't change the bomb. If Théoden does not despair at Helm's Deep, he may not emphasize with Gondor, and bring his troops. Aragorn also finally steps fully into his role as future king. Damn, I wish we could save more lives.' "Sorry we can't fix that one."

"Do you see the end?" he asked her.

"Yes."

A worried frown line appeared between his eyes. "If the enemy were to learn this…"

"You got it." She winked at him. "So you better help protect my ass" she slapped it "until we get there."

Boromir nodded, shaking his head at her antics.

…

"So, have you thought about what you want to do after the war?" she asked him.

He paused in thought, considering. "I've tried to imagine a time without the threat of Sauron. It has been a dream of my people for so long, yet I cannot conceive of how it would come to pass." He shook his head. "I'm a solder, a Captain of Gondor. What skills have I for peace, and yet it's my dearest wish…"

Tabatha looked over at him, studying his profile. "You're good at teaching. You could teach self-defense." she suggested. "Start a school or something."

"And who would I teach?" he gave her a wry smile.

She laughed. "In my country, martial arts are studied by many. Not so much for protection, but for exercise and mental discipline. And trust me, we need the exercise."

He nodded. "Tis certain training is good exercise. I have trained many as Captain."

"People will want to travel more. They'll need skills to do so." She nudged his shoulder, grinning at him. "Learning from the 'Captain' himself would be a point of pride."

"When we stop for the night, we'll practice." He gave her back a roguish grin. "I won't hold back like the elf."

"He's been holding back?" Tabatha growled.

Boromir just smirked at her.

…

Tabatha was growing concerned. Over the last few hours Boromir had grown silent, and now had a slight sheen over his flushed face. She stopped him. "Are you doing alright?"

His shoulders hunched. "My wounds. The dressings need to be changed." he gritted out.

"Right. Sit down and take off your shirt." she commanded.

He looked at her warily. "I would protect your modesty." he said with hesitation.

She rolled her eyes at him. "You mean yours, don't you? I've seen naked men before." She smirked at him. "I've even seen you before too."

Her face relaxed into a serious expression as she looked steadily at him. "It needs to be done, and I'm the only one available."

Silently, he studied her for a moment. "As you say." he gritted out. Unable to meet her eyes, he removed his tunic with difficulty, focusing on the distant horizon.

This time she wasn't whistling and clapping like in Moria. Instead, she carefully peeled back the bandages. The shoulder wound was an angry red, no longer bleeding, but bruised purple. She carefully poured out water from her canteen, and cleaned the area. She applied the paste left to them, then rewrapped the first, before moving to the second arrow hole. This one had a bit of puss leaking around the edges. She repeated the treatment, before she helped him into a fresh tunic.

"That wasn't so bad was it?" Tabatha asked him quietly, hand on his shoulder, trying to meet his eyes.

Slowly he met them. "I survived."

Still concerned, she brushed her hand lightly against the second wound. "I don't like the looks of this one. You should sleep by the fire."

He shook his head emphatically. "We dare not make a fire tonight. We will both need sleep, and dare not attract attention."

She sighed. "Ok, but I'm not going to let you get cold. We'll bunk down together."

Boromir disagreed, until she offered him a choice. Sleep beside her, or she would raise a bonfire. With ill grace, he gave in to her demands.

"I have no sympathy for the man who marries a hellion like you." he grumbled.

She smiled affectionately down at him. "Face it. You yourself need someone like me to ensure you don't do stupid things."

Finally, Boromir was comfortable on his right side, and fell asleep resting his arm over her belly.

…

In the morning Tabatha woke first. She was overheated under her parka, cuddling with Boromir. She groaned softly in the dawn light, stretching. Behind her, Boromir pressed his morning wood into her backside. Sleeping still, he rubbed against her, making quiet noises in her ear.

"Boromir…Boromir wake up." she coaxed.

Dazedly, he opened his eyes, discovering his body wrapped around hers. He froze as he realized his aroused state, and suspected what he had just been doing. He blushed, disconcerted, before carefully untangling his arms and legs as he backed away.

"I apologize milady. I was not aware of my actions." he said, forcing himself to meet her eyes.

Tabatha looked at him in sympathy. She put her hand on his shoulder to give him a reassuring squeeze. "No worries. It's normal." She smirked at him. "I guess the equipment still works then." she said with a wink.

If possible, his blush deepened. "It should not have happened." he said, his eyes fleeing hers.

"Boromir, relax." She squeezed him again. "You're a normal healthy male. I'd be more worried if something like that never happened." she told him.

Startled, his eyes were drawn back to hers. "Why?" he questioned.

She gave him a small grin. "Erectile dysfunction is one indicator of a heart condition."

Puzzled, he shook his head at her. "I don't understand?"

"If blood can't get down there, it may not be getting everywhere else it needs too." she said, tapping his chest over his heart.

Finally, the blushing was appearing to fade. She continued "You know, you've done nothing even remotely kinky." She smirked at him. "I know; I've tried the corruption test, and _I_ scored normal."

Her grin widened. "What you've done still puts you in the cloistered category." she said, nudging him.

"What's the corruption test?" he asked.

"The corruption test asks you a bunch of questions, about your experiences with sex, drugs and alcohol. My highest ratings were in sex. I've never done drugs, and other than drinking to excess, not much there either." She shrugged.

He shook his head at her in false disbelief. "So, in some ways you're innocent still? It's hard to believe." His face broke into a teasing grin, eyebrow raised.

She gave him a saucy wink. "Some of my friends were also disappointed with their results. So we started a competition to score the highest by the end of the summer." She chortled. "Some kinks were immediately off the table, but some, like sex in public were things we aimed to complete." She wagged her eyebrows at him with a grin.

He looked at her, startled. "What was off the table?" he asked with trepidation.

"Kinks like blood play, necrophilia and bestiality." His eyes widened in horror and relief.

She looked off in thought, before running her tongue over her lips. "Vampires with their 'crimson kisses' can be hot to watch in movies. But since vampires don't exist, those were not getting done." Her eyes sparkled in amusement.

"You come from a very disturbed society." he said to her in dismay.

Her eyes sparkled in amusement. "My views were developed as I grew up watching Captain Kirk trying to have sex with everything vaguely humanoid. I'm ok with hearing about anything where both parties consent, and have similar body parts." She paused before continuing. "I'm not ok with any non-humanoid mixing with humans. No human / freaky alien mixes."

His eyes shot to hers. "There are worse things that turn your stomach? I shudder to think." he replied in alarm. "Please don't tell me more. I too have my limits."

She just winked at him. "As you command, milord."

…

"Breathe the free air again, my friend." Gandalf told the king.

"Dark have been my dreams of late." Théoden muttered.

Gandalf suggested "Your fingers would remember their old strength better if they grasped your sword." Hama brought it forward, presenting it to Théoden.

Minutes later, a crowd was gathered on the front steps. Grima lay at the king's feet, pleading with him. "I've only ever served you, my lord."

Théoden snarled back. "Your leechcraft would have had me crawling on all fours like a beast!"

"Send me not from your sight." Grima tried. Théoden raised his arm to strike him.

Aragorn stepped forward, shielding Grima. "No, my lord! No, my lord. Let him go. Enough blood has been spilt on his account." he coaxed. He turned to help Grima up.

Grima spat on his hand, before taking his chance to run out of the city, crying to all in his path. "Get out of my way!" The crowd parted before him to let him pass.

"Hail, Théoden King!" The people of Edoras called, as they kneeled in homage to their king.

…

Tabatha and Boromir watched from a distance, as a dark figure exited the city in haste. "That's our cue." she told him.

They got up, slowly walking into the city. Seeing the three hunters in the main hall, Tabatha walked up behind them, slapping Aragorn and Legolas on the shoulders, sticking her head into their conversation circle. "Hey guys. Miss me?" she asked.

"Tabatha! It's good to see you lass." Gimli cried, looking into her laughing eyes.

Legolas's face lit up, as he turned to give her a smile. "Mae g'ovannen!" (Sindarin, Well met!) He enfolded her in a grateful hug.

Aragorn turned to the pair, before asking. "Tabatha! Boromir! Any trouble on the road?"

"Us?" she rolled her eyes. "We've had a stroll in the park. You're the ones introducing the Ironman to Middle Earth." She laughed.

Aragorn looked for confirmation at Boromir.

Boromir gratefully put down his pack. "Yes; incredibly I've managed to survive 'strolling' with her." He gave her a roguish grin.

"So, now that we're back in civilization, is there any hope for a bath?" she asked, looking around.

"I'm sure something can be arranged." Aragon replied. He waved over Eowyn to repeat the request.

Tabatha turned to Boromir. "You need one too. Trust me I know; you stink." she said, wrinkling her nose at him.

He grimaced back at her. "I apologize for fouling the air around you, milady." He gave her a small bow.

"You should." She fired back, sticking her nose in the air, and theatrically waving her hands about to clear the air.

Shortly afterwards, they both were escorted to the bathing chambers.

…

Tabatha moaned in appreciation. A bath had never felt this good, the heat sinking into her abused muscles. Reluctantly she got out as the water cooled, only to discover her pack and clothes were missing. In their place was a dress she heard Boromir discuss.

Tabatha peered over the partition wall. Boromir was sitting in his leggings, getting his wounds redressed. His clean tunic was hanging on the wall near her. With a mischievous smile, she reached over the partition to grab it.

Quickly, she changed into it, using the belt from the dress to secure it around her waist. She darted out into the hall, sitting down on their bench, in line with the hallway. Legolas and Gimli looked at her, eyebrows raised.

"Wait for it." she told them, winking.

Shortly afterwards, there was a commotion down the hall. Boromir stormed over to her, clad only in his legging and boots. "I'll take my tunic back now." he demanded.

She playfully pouted up at him. "But why? I heard you ask for a dress! Surely you wanted to wear it?" She smirked at him.

"The dress was for you, as befitting a lady." he berated her.

"I thought we had this lady discussion back in Moria?" she taunted.

He flushed, before retorting "You're in Edoras now. You need to wear a dress."

"Really? I _need_ to wear a dress?" she drew out her response with stinging emphasis. She looked him over before scornfully asking him "So tell me…why _exactly_ did you think it was _your place_ to tell me what to wear?"

Aragorn winced and shook his head. Legolas looked like he was on the verge of replying, before biting his tongue. Gimli shook his head in disbelief. "You shouldn't have said that laddie." he muttered under his breath.

Finally appearing to realize his undress, he demanded with increasing fervor "Return my tunic, at once!"

"At once you say?" Tabatha stood and bowed. "As you command, milord." She said mockingly, before dropping the belt on the floor, pulling it over her head, and tossing it to him. She crossed her arms over her chest. "Happy now?" she asked him, eyebrow arched.

Boromir was speechless.

Silence reined in the hall, all eyes fixated on the confrontation. Then, a shuffling of feet as people jostled for better views, a chorus of gasps and a disturbed cough shattered the quiet.

Legolas broke from his frozen shock, and stood up to try and to cover her with his cloak. She waved him impatiently away.

"You should not be seen like this." Legolas whispered to her, fiercely glaring around the room.

"I swim in less than this. Relax." She continued to ignore him, focusing on Boromir.

Starting to tap her foot, she glared at him "Now that you have what you want, can I get my clothes back?" she demanded of his petrified form.

"You have a knack for causing trouble." Aragorn hissed at her, as Théoden came over to the disturbance.

Unashamed, she happily was introduced to the restored king in her lingerie.

…

Gimli crowed "And then he said to me 'I would cut off your head Dwarf if it stood but a little higher from the ground.' Well the elf here got a bit upset and threatened to kill him if he tried it." Gimli nodded towards Legolas. Tabatha grinned at him.

"Well, it was after that we found Eomer had slain all the orcs, piled and burned them. He gave us these two horses to ride to find the hobbits." he chortled.

Aragorn picked up the story. "We tracked them into Fangorn, where we met Gandalf again." he supplied. "After that we made haste for Edoras."

"I fear my legs will never recover from this journey." Gimli moaned, rubbing his backside.

"Sounds like you're in desperate need of a massage Gimli." Tabatha said with a grin.

"Aye, that'd be lovely lass." Gimli replied. "But where's a dwarf to get such a thing around here?"

"What am I, chopped liver?" she smirked at him.

Discomforted he responded warily "Nay, I couldn't ask it of you. It wouldn't be proper to have you massaging the insides of my legs." He smiled fondly at her. "I shall be content with a warm bath and a good sleep."

"Be sure and stretch a little before you fall over to sleep." she told him.

"I'll do that." he replied with relief.

…

Later that night, Tabatha joined Legolas in gazing up at the stars. "So, I guess you get along better with Gimli now." she stated.

"The dwarf and I have worked out some differences." he acknowledged with a small smile. "Despite his difficulties on the run he never stopped."

"It's good to see you guys getting along better. Despite your differences, you have a lot in common. You both have great hearts." she said, laying her hand over his heart.

Legolas's smile widened perceptively. "I thank you milady." he said, trapping her hand on his chest, over his pounding heart. "And how did you fare with Boromir?" he asked.

"Well, he's a little more corrupted now." she smirked at him. "I have a few more things I can tease him with."

"Oh, and what would they be?" Legolas asked.

She smiled at him with a twinkle. "No worries, it's nothing like I'd like to do with you."

His voice grew faint. "And what would that be?"

She stepped toward him, running her hand up his chest, before wrapping it behind his neck. Her other hand reached around him, pulling him near. She gazed into his eyes. "For starters, this." She leaned forward, slowly allowing their lips to meet. She withdrew to watch his reaction.

He breathed out, opening his eyes to meet hers. Hesitatingly he brought her into the circle of his arms, embracing her fully.

She smiled at him, before repeating the kiss. He sighed.

She trailed kisses along his jaw, before breathing into his ear. He jumped slightly as she whispered. "You truly have no idea how tempting you are, do you? I would love nothing better than to hold you in my arms, and kiss every inch of you. And so much more."

She dropped her head to kiss his neck tenderly before retreating to lean back in his arms. Her hand trailed from behind his neck, to stroke his jaw, pausing to run her thumb over his bottom lip.

"I missed your company when we were gone." he confessed in a quiet whisper, eyes meeting hers in humbling sincerity.

She gave him a affectionate smile. "I missed you to. More than I expected to. We should be able to stick together for the rest. Trust me, while Boromir" she smirked at him, "was fun to travel with and tease, I fell asleep thinking about your last kiss. And when I could get another."

She grew serious again. "I've also had to get him thinking more positive thoughts about the future. He's still despondent over his seduction by The Ring. He wants so badly for Gondor to be free, to remove the shadow of Mordor."

"We have all felt its effects, even back in Imladris." he disagreed.

"Knowing his father's expectations and trying to singlehandedly support the hope of the populous left him more vulnerable to its influence. But if he didn't care so much, he wouldn't be the man he is. He wouldn't have had the ability to supply that support."

She smiled wanly at him for a moment, before shrugging. "No worries. I have some plans to distract him from his worries." She grinned over at him. "Do you want to help?"

He smiled at her in amusement. "What trouble do you intend?"

She winked at him. "Come find out."

…

The next morning Boromir woke to find he only had dresses in his pack. Angrily, he hunted Tabatha down.

"Well you liked dresses so much, I figured you should have the joy of wearing them too!" she said, laughing into his face.

Over her shoulder, Aragorn shook his head in warning at Boromir.

He sent her a fuming glare, before grabbing his clothes from the seat behind her. He grumbled under his breath about insane females and getting revenge as he wandered away.

…

The group sat idly about the hall after the funeral, listening as Eowyn explained the children's story. "They had no warning. They were unarmed. Now the Wild Men are moving through the Westfold, burning as they go. Rick, cot and tree."

"Where is momma?" the little girl cried in distress, not comforted by the hand stroking her hair.

Gandalf leaned into the king. "This is but a taste of the terror that Saruman will unleash. All the more potent for he is driven now by fear of Sauron. Ride out and meet him head on. Draw him away from your women and children. You must fight." he coaxed.

Aragorn supplied "You have 2000 good men riding north as we speak. Eomer is loyal to you. His men will return and fight for their king."

Théoden disagreed. "They will be 300 leagues from here by now. Eomer cannot help us." He looked sharply at Gandalf, before admonishing "I know what it is you want of me but I will not bring further death to my people. I will not risk open war."

"Open war is upon you, whether you would risk it or not." Aragorn chided.

"When last I looked, Théoden, not Aragorn, was king of Rohan." Théoden told him sharply.

"Then what is the king's decision?" Gandalf inquired.

…

"Helm's deep." Gandalf spat.

Disturbed, Gimli ranted "They flee to the mountains when they should stand and fight. Who will defend them if not their king?"

Aragorn chided the dwarf. "He's only doing what he thinks is best for his people. Helm's Deep has saved them in the past."

"There is no way out of that ravine. Théoden is walking into a trap. He thinks he's leading them to safety. What they will get is a massacre." Gandalf fumed, stalking into the stables.

Tabatha looked at Boromir, and whispered softly "Party time."

He returned her tiny smile.

…

"Have you seen many battles?" Eowyn interrogated her.

"Battles?" Tabatha snorted. "No. Nobody in my country has. We haven't had a war on our soil for 200 years. The last serious action was when we sent troops overseas to our allies. And that was 60 years ago."

Eowyn's eyes reflected her surprise.

…

Tabatha looked up at the extremely tall 17 hand high mare. "Horses, I don't do horses. My first experience wasn't fun." She mock glared at Legolas.

"I've apologized for that already." he said, lips twitching at her.

"And so you should have." She ran her finger down his tunic, before asking "You still need to make it up to me. So, show me how to ride normally?" She gazed into his beautiful eyes.

He smiled softly at her. "We may have time." He placed his hands on her waist, before lifting her onto the horse. He leaped on in front of her.

She wrapped her arms about him, leaning into his back, inhaling his faint woody scent. Slyly she moved her fingers over his belly, gently tickling the hard plains under his clothes.

"Tabatha." He said warningly, butterflies erupting in his stomach.

She pouted before laughing. "Alright, I'll behave." She rested her head between his shoulders, giving him a soft squeeze.

…

"Wargs!"

"A scout!" Legolas cried.

"What is it? What do you see?" Théoden demanded.

"Warg! We're under attack!" Aragorn yelled to everyone.

Théoden turned to the column, before issuing orders. "Get them out of here! All riders to the head of the column."

"Make for the lower ground!" Eowyn called. "Stay together."

…

"Aragorn!" Legolas called out frantically.

"Aragorn?" Boromir and Gimli called, joining in the search.

Finally, Gimli stood threateningly over a dying orc. "Tell me what happened and I will ease your passing." he growled in a hard voice.

"He's dead. Took a little tumble off the cliff." the orc replied with a chuckle.

"You lie." Legolas angrily spat at the vile creature.

Boromir held him back from attacking the vermin.

Legolas noticed the necklace clutched in the enemy's dead hand. With mounting trepidation, he took the jewel, before going over to peer over the edge of the cliff. His eyes rested in horror on the churning river below, no sign of man or beast in its raging passage.

He was joined by Boromir, Gimli and Théoden. Despondently, they took in the likelihood of survival, and realizing Aragorn would be found dead. The river below looked to devour its prey without succor.

Théoden called to the rest. "Get the wounded on horses. The wolves of Isengard will return. Leave the dead."

Legolas looked over at him, appalled.

Théoden placed his hand on the grieving elf's shoulder. "Come." he requested with compassion, moving away.

…

A cacophony of calls rang through the exhausted crowd, as Helm's Deep appeared in sight.

"At last!"

"Helm's Deep."

"There it is, Helm's Deep."

"We're safe."

"We're safe, my lady."

"Thank you."

The group stumbled into the ancient fortress, relief at reaching safety warring with their concern for events behind them.


	8. Helm's Deep

Tabatha trudged into the Keep. Refugees were overflowing the halls, collapsed as soon as they entered the gates. She began to familiarize herself with the fortress, mentally walking through the future battle, until she heard the guys arrive.

"Make way for Théoden. Make way for the king." a voice rang through the Keep.

Eowyn ran out of the shadows. "So few. So few of you have returned." she exclaimed.

"Our people are safe. We have paid for it with many lives." Théoden told her.

"My lady." Gimli's tight voice acknowledged her presence.

"Lord Aragorn, where is he?" Eowyn asked, peering behind him.

"He fell." Gimli told her, his voice choked in grief, before trailing Legolas and Théoden into the heart of the keep.

On seeing Tabatha in the entrance, Boromir pinned her roughly to the wall. "You knew. You knew that Aragorn would die, and did nothing to prevent it!" he yelled.

Silence descended around them.

"And what would you have me do? You know my skills. Should I have joined you against the wargs?" she cried out to him.

"We would have protected him!" he yelled back, his eyes thrusting daggers into hers.

She gripped his hands on her shoulders, while hissing back "At what cost? Look around you. How many others fell?"

His grip loosened. His forehead dropped to rest on hers, as he struggled to master his anger.

"There's no reason to despair." she consoled. She leaned forward, whispering emphatically into his ear. "The king shall return. Like Gandalf, he needed to fall. Tell nobody, not even Legolas or Gimli." Her eyes met his with fiery intensity. "Gondor is not lost. We are not lost. Even now, as the hours grow dark, the light is gathering its strength." Her hand came up to caress his cheek.

He sighed, tension draining from his body.

"Will you still help me? Will you prevent unnecessary death this night?" she questioned forcefully.

"I have agreed to this service." he growled at her.

"Good. Then let's take a walk. There's much to discuss." Tabatha told him as she dragged him away.

...

Tabatha pointed out key areas for the coming conflict. They were now looking for a spot for her to shoot from, inside the keep, which would reach the outer wall. Boromir was telling her how to deal with different situations, since she refused to tell him which ones would occur.

Gamling walked up to the pair. "The women and children have been ordered to the caves." he informed her.

"That's nice. I'm not going." she told him dismissively.

"You must. The king has ordered it." he chided her.

She looked him in the eye. "First, he's not my king. I'll not be following those orders. Second, in the caves I would only draw resources needed for your people. I know how to fight, and I have a sworn duty to save lives during this battle. I will not be kept from the fight."

Gamling looked to Boromir for support.

"We are in his lands." Boromir told her.

Tabatha rolled her eyes at him. "So help me convince him to make an exception." she asked.

Agreeing, Gamling marched her before the king.

"My lord, I'll not be in the caves this night." she informed him. "I'm needed on the wall."

"She can see the future my lord. Her visions have proven accurate." Boromir said. "She asked my help during the battle…"

"Boromir! Stop! You cannot say why!" she cried.

Théoden indicated he should continue. He was surprised when she slapped Boromir hard across the face when it looked like he would speak. "Would you prove false to your sworn word to keep my confidences?" she hissed at him. Boromir's jaw snapped shut, his glare stabbing her eyes, as his face bloomed with her handprint.

"He needs to know." he berated her.

"And he will know." she answered. "When it happens. Not before."

"What do you know?" Théoden demanded, grabbing her shoulder, spinning her to face him.

Defiant, she retorted. "That there's reason to hope, my lord." Glaring at Boromir, she spat "We cannot say more."

Boromir reluctantly acknowledged her command.

She disentangled the king's hands, leaving the room.

Boromir turned to the king. "She has little skill yet with a blade, but some with a bow. She saved my life using it. You'd need men to prevent her from joining the battle. She will help."

Théoden sighed. "Her presence will distract the men."

"She has a purpose tonight. She does not lightly do this." Boromir smiled after her. "Her thoughts run deeper than you suspect. Question her after the battle."

Strands of 'I am the Very Model of a Modern Major General' from Gilbert and Sullivan's the Pirates of Penzance trailed back into the hall.

His lips quirked, "Her anger and defense of others is also fearsome to behold."

…

Legolas hunted her down. "You cannot fight." Legolas told her.

"Really?" she drew out scathingly "'Cause I kinda thought that's what you were teaching me to do."

He shook his head at her, frustrated, before hissing "Tonight, many will fall. You have not seen this kind of violence before. Moria and the fight at Rauros Falls did not make you ready for this."

She pleaded with him. "Legolas, look around. They're arming children." Her eyes filled with tears as they gazed into his. He sank into the depths of her shimmering orbs, drowning in the storm of emotions reflected.

He picked up her right hand, before he brushed her hair behind her ear. His voice still hard, eyes filled with compassion, he explained seriously "And they have seen more death in their short lives, than you have. And you would watch them die."

"I know." she cried despondently. "I'm shaking with fear already. But how can I lay down arms when I may have the skill to save one? I need not fight the entire night. Only when desperation drives."

"Who do you save tonight? Who is worth your efforts, when Aragorn was not? Did Boromir's words cause this?" he asked menacingly.

"Hush Legolas." she squeezed his hand, smiling timorously at him. "Aragorn fell as Gandalf did. He will return. There's no need to despair."

Grief breaking, he drew in a deep shuttering breath. "Amin hiraetha." (Sindarin, I'm sorry)

He gathered her into his arms, squeezing her tight. Her hands caressed his body in soothing comfort. "The Fellowship is fine, your friends are fine." she reassured.

He coaxed her in undertones "I would have you safe, I would shield you from this night, Arwenamin. (Sindarin, My lady) I cannot lose you. I would not bear the grief." he choked out. "Will you not go to the caves?"

"I have no plans to let anything happen." she told him affectionately, trailing her hand from his temple, around his ear to his jaw, bringing his mouth to meet hers.

What started as a gentle press of the lips quickly changed to fiery passion. Her tongue trailed along his bottom lip; gasping, his mouth fell open. Their tongues entangled. Pressed against him, she felt him harden against her. He quickly stepped back, embarrassed, avoiding her eyes. "I apologize Arwenamin." (Sindarin, My lady) once again flushed cherry red.

"Well." she tried to regulate her breathing. "We'll have to repeat that one in the morning."

His eyes darted to hers, giving her a tentative smile. She returned an incandescent one, capturing his heart.

…

"He's alive!" voices cried out in surprise.

Tabatha smirked. "Come, it's time to meet Aragorn again." she said. "We need to berate him for causing you worry."

Gimli's bellowing voice echoed down the passage. "Where is he? Where is he? Get out of the way! I'm going to kill him!" He wrapped Aragorn in a bear hug. "You are the luckiest, the canniest and the most reckless man I ever knew." he ranted. "Bless you laddie."

"Gimli, where is the king?" Aragorn asked urgently.

Gimli jerked his head towards the Keep. Aragorn strode forward, only to be halted by a relieved Legolas.

"Le ab-dollen." (Sindarin, You're late.) he chided. His eyes softened as he examined his friend. "You look terrible." he continued, handing him Arwen's necklace.

Aragorn gave him a wry smile. "Hannon le." (Sindarin, Thank you.) Aragorn said with ironic gratitude.

Tabatha smiled at the two of them, before trailing after the pair.

…

"A great host, you say?" Théoden asked.

"All Isengard is emptied." Aragorn told him.

"How many?" he demanded.

"Ten thousand strong at least." Aragorn informed him.

"Ten thousand?" Théoden faltered. He scowled at Tabatha. "And you knew this." he asked.

She nodded her head at him. "This is why Aragorn fell; to bring this news." She gave him a sad smile. "Glad to see you're back." She wrinkled her nose at him. "Even if you again need a bath."

He shook his head slightly, as his eyes reflected gratitude for the feeble attempt at levity. He focused again intently on the king. "It is an army bred for a single purpose: to destroy the world of Men. They will be here by nightfall."

"Let them come!"

…

"I want every man and strong lad able to bear arms to be ready for battle by nightfall. We will cover the causeway and the gate from above. No army has ever breached the Deeping Wall or set foot inside the Hornburg!" Théoden called out confidently.

"This is no rabble of mindless orcs. These are uruk-hai. Their armor is thick and their shields broad." Gimli admonished.

"I have fought many wars, Master Dwarf. I know how to defend my own keep." Théoden reprimanded. "They will break upon this fortress like water on rock. Saruman's hordes will pillage and burn. We've seen it before. Crops can be resown, homes rebuilt. Within these walls we will outlast them." He words washed over his troops, instilling hope.

Boromir shot Tabatha a look. "And if the wizard has found a way to breach them?" As he watched her, her eyes nodded in his direction. He grew pale.

"They do not come to destroy Rohan's crops or villages. They come to destroy its people down to the last child." Aragorn implored him to see reason.

Théoden spun to demand in a whisper "What would you have me do? Look at my men. Their courage hangs by a thread. If this is to be our end, then I would have them make such an end as to be worthy of remembrance."

"Send out riders, my lord. You must call for aid." Aragorn pleaded.

"And who will come? Elves? Dwarves? We are not so lucky in our friends as you. The old alliances are dead." Théoden hissed at him.

Boromir bit his lip, to stop words spilling out. Tabatha gripped his hand, squeezing in comfort.

…

"Then I shall die as one of them!" Aragorn's words echoed in the ranks, despair rising in the troops. The tide of rumor was broken when an elvish horn echoed against the walls of the keep. Surprised faces peered over the walls, gaping at the arriving force.

"Send for the king. Open the gate!"

"How is this possible?" Théoden exclaimed, stunned when he saw the bowman before him.

"I bring word from Elrond of Rivendell. An alliance once existed between Elves and Men. Long ago we fought and died together. We come to honor that allegiance." Haldir told him with a flourish.

Legolas moved to stand behind Haldir, showing his support of the sentiments expressed.

Aragorn ran down the steps. "Mae g'ovannen! (Sindarin, Well met!) You are most welcome." Aragorn said, before surprising the elf in an embrace.

Released, Haldir proclaimed. "We are proud to fight alongside Men once more."

The bowmen turned as one to face the king, coming to parade rest in time to witness Tabatha streaking down the stairs.

"Haldir!" Tabatha exclaimed loudly, seeing him helmeted. She launched herself at him, wrapping her limbs around him. "You've had a makeover. Did you get pink too?"

Slipping to the ground, she pulled on his armor, trying to see his undershirt. Defeated from seeing it at the neck, she tried to slip her hand under his clothes at the waist. Ticklish, he squirmed slightly under her hand.

Behind him in the ranks, the elves were able to keep straight faces, and swallow their snickers. The men at her back had no such control.

She continued "Boromir protested pink, but he's not angry with me anymore." Haldir tried to fight her off without injuring her. Successful at feeling his undershirt, her hand slipped out.

She grinned broadly at him, before winking and slapping his shoulder "Don't worry. I've asked him to protect your virtue while your here."

The snickers turned to laughs as the formally stoic Marchwarden flushed red. She winked at his troops.

"Tabatha, could you not simply have asked?" Aragorn asked, shaking his head.

"But my way was more fun!" she exclaimed. "And look, he's red again!" she said with glee, pointing. "Red is such a good color for you." She patted Haldir's check affectionately.

Aragorn rolled his eyes at her in exasperation.

She waved welcome to the elven troops, calling out "Êl síla erin lû e-govaned vîn." _(_ Sindarin: A star shines on the hour of our meeting.) before vanishing back into the keep.

Théoden observed her antics in stunned disbelief, eyes resting on the red-faced elf.

…

"Watch your back." Tabatha said, embracing Boromir.

She repeated the mantra to the others, finally embracing Legolas to add "Don't let Gimli win." She winked at the dwarf over Legolas's shoulder, before mouthing to him. "Kick his ass."

Gimli grunted in agreement. "You take care lass. We'll need you to turn the elf red in the morning."

She grinned at him. "Haven't you been paying attention? This is how you do it." She quickly kissed Legolas on the lips. His ears flushed under the scrutiny of the others.

"I think he likes it when you do it." he emphasized.

"Really? Guess I'll have to be here in the morning." She smirked at him, before giving Legolas another quick kiss, and flouncing off to her battle station.

…

The battle had been going on for hours. Boromir was hanging out around Haldir, much to the elf's bemusement. The rest of the Fellowship was farther down the wall. Aragorn paced the line, calling out commands in Sindarin, as Théoden issued orders in common.

When it first started, it was far worse than she imagined. Moria provided her with the sight of dead bodies, but this was all encompassing. The smell of blood cut through the rain. Cries of pain cut suddenly short, many of children calling for their mother. The feel of rain mimicking the streams of blood cascading over the walls.

Return arrows pierced combatants on the wall. She looked again at the body of Haleth, one of the first to fall to an arrow. Hours before she had joked with him that as long as he knew the pointy end went into the bad guy, he'd make it through the night. He never got to use the sword he so proudly declared was a good one, confirmed by Aragorn himself.

She didn't see him fall. It was nothing like watching the movies; the impact of spotting his death in the pile of corpses had made her violently ill. A tidal wave of tears was held back by sheer determination. She fought her emotions, beating them down with the mantra 'It's only a movie. It's not real.' She retreated into her mind to erect a wall of disassociation, freeing it mind to work analytically. The world took on an unreal quality as she determinedly put off dealing with massacre below.

…

"Dago han! Legolas! Dago han, dago han!" (Sindarin, Bring him down, Legolas!)

Part of the wall exploded in an upward eruption of stone, the sound creating a moment of stillness on the battlefield. She saw Gimli jump down to cover the opening, enthusiastically cutting down enemies, surging around him.

Tabatha was now situated on an angle behind Haldir, far from the breech. During the long hours of the night, she discovered truths of war that never made it into song. Like the smells. Like the cries of the dying. Like she needed a bathroom. A voice in the back of her head chided her for the trivial need; she resolutely ignored it, rejoining the fight.

…

She watched the failing defense of the door at the top of the causeway. Both Gimli and Aragorn were hauled up the wall by Legolas. She checked Boromir. He was pale faced, with a bloody scrap of cloth tied around his arm. Exhausted, he still stood beside Haldir, recognizable only by the differences in armor. Too many friendly bodies lay at their feet; the enemy was overwhelming them.

She heard Théoden give the order to retreat. "Aragorn! Fall back to the Keep! Get your men out of there!"

"Am Marad!" (Sindarin, To the Keep!) she called out loudly "Boromir, get them out now!" Tabatha lay down covering fire, as close as she dared to the pair.

"Am Marad!" (Sindarin, To the Keep!) Haldir called to his men, turning to give the order. He unsuccessfully parried a blow, the sword entering his side. Stunned by the exploding pain, he froze. Boromir dove into the opening behind him, slicing open the uruk-hai with blade poised over Haldir's head. The uruk-hai's blade fell from nerveless fingers, striking a glancing blow on his new helmet. Haldir dropped to his knees.

Tabatha successfully shot two more approaching uruk-hai, but the numbers were overwhelming. Boromir grabbed the injured Haldir, using a ladder to span the river of enemy streaming below. She covered the remaining retreating elves before Tabatha raced inside to meet them. They shambled into the Keep with the last of their energy, collapsing just inside the door.

…

"The fortress is taken. It is over." Théoden despaired.

"You said this fortress would never fall while your men defend it. They still defend it. They have died defending it." Aragorn cried. Desperate, he demanded "Is there no other way for the women and children to get out of the caves?" Turning the Gamling, he repeated "Is there no other way?"

"There is one passage. It leads into the mountains. But they will not get far. The uruk-hai are too many." Gamling informed him.

"Tell the women and children to make for the mountain pass. And barricade the entrance!" Aragorn commanded.

"So much death. What can Men do against such reckless hate?" Théoden rambled, fixated on carnage of the battle.

"Ride out with me. Ride out and meet them." Aragorn implored.

Finally roused, Théoden responded. "For death and glory."

"For Rohan. For your people." Aragorn replied.

"The sun is rising." Gimli commented.

Encouraged, spirit rising, Théoden exclaimed "Yes. Yes. The horn of Helm Hammerhand shall sound in the Deep one last time."

"Yes!" Gimli trumpted.

"Let this be the hour when we draw swords together." Théoden demanded. "Fell deeds, awake. Now for wrath, now for ruin and a red dawn. Forth Eorlingas!" he shouted, leading the charge.

…

Tabatha ran towards Boromir. "Is he alright?" she called when the horn paused.

"Yes, Haldir is with the healers." he answered.

She hugged him. "Thank you so much for helping to save his life. I couldn't have done it alone. How are you doing?"

He gave her a wry smile. "I'll live."

She ran over to check on Haldir. He was pale from blood loss, panting from the pain. A healer had his tunic pulled up, and was cleaning out the wound.

Tabatha slowed her approach, holding out her hand. "You can squeeze it if you want; it helps to focus somewhere other than where it's injured. Just try not to crush my bones." She determinedly slipped her hand into his, smiling at him.

He growled at her. "What are you doing here? You should be in the caves."

"Goheno nin." (Sindarin, Sorry.) She shrugged. "I made a promise to Galandriel to try and keep you safe. It's kinda hard to do if I can't see you."

He winced, closing his eyes and squeezing her hand as the healer started on the stitches. She squeezed back, stroking it with her other hand. "Hannon le" (Sindarin, Thank you) he said, as the healer finished, moving on to the next patient.

"You set Boromir to watch over me." he berated.

Attempting to keep a straight face, she replied "I did."

"You foresaw my death." he ground out.

"And the death of all your kin here today." she said calmly.

He flinched, closing his eyes to shut out the horror.

She squeezed his hand again in sympathy. "You were the only one I knew by name." her voice resolutely continued. "To my knowledge only Legolas was going to survive last night."

"Why did you do it? Why did you work to save me?" he questioned.

"Because I could. You didn't deserve to die." She grinned and winked at him. "You haven't even had sex yet. You still have to find out what you're missing."

His look of astonishment had her bursting into peals of laughter.

"She told me you saw the future, and were attempting to change it. She had all of us wear the undershirts you had created, and she presented me with a helmet. I have not worn one for thousands of years, and yet by your influence our traditions are changed." he grumbled.

Silently she picked up his helmet, examining the dent at the back, before turning it around to show him. "I'm glad for it. I would rather have you angry at me for changing traditions than have to bury your corpse."

His eyes met hers sadly. "I have only my brothers. My parents are both dead; I raised them. I could not choose to bond and have children. Not as Marchwarden. The risk was too great."

"Would your brothers not raise your children if required?" she asked gently.

He shook his head negatively. "I would not ask it of them. It is a terrible thing to grow up without parents."

She tapped his chest lightly. "You have more children than you know." She smiled at him. "You treat your troops the same as your brothers; you are another parent to them. It's part of what binds them to you. Your loss would be felt more deeply than you realize."

He was startled by her observation. He looked at her, seeing her sincerity. "I thank you for your words." he said quietly.

She teased him. "Despite your solemn and prudish outlook, you do make an impact."

"Most would not call me that to my face." he groused, retreating into silence.

Tabatha smiled gently at him, before coaxing further answers. "You lost a lot with your parents, didn't you? Something's only passed from parent to child." She hesitated before asking. "For instance, you never got 'The Talk', did you? The Sex Talk?"

He flushed to his ear tips, not meeting her gaze.

Compassionately she continued. "It would take a great deal of courage to begin courting someone in your situation." She lightly squeezed his hand.

"I did once. I was mocked for my lack. My brothers have never dared follow my example." he groused.

"Crazy." She winked at him, before smirking. "That someone would deny the world handsome rug-rats, running around with your features? For shame!" She shook her head in disbelief. "Once this war is over, you'll have no more excuses to try again." Her voice still held a note of teasing, her mouth a smile, but her eyes were serious.

He looked at her, eyebrow raised.

"We can find help for the elvish stuff you need to learn. I'll cover sex." she grinned at him. "You'll know more about sex than all the other suitors."

He gave her a horrified look. "And is would help how?" he ground out.

Her eyes sparkled with laughter. "Your mate would be really, really happy."

"How did you acquire this knowledge?" he asked with trepidation.

"In my country, we have classes giving the sex talk."

"After your visit in Lothlorien, I shudder to think what you would teach us." he said with dismay.

She smirked at his appalled look, not answering.

…

"Victory! We have victory!" Théoden announced, returning to the hall.

Tabatha sang the chorus for 'We Are the Champions' by Queen under her breath.

…

Eomer looked at the girl standing alone on the wall. "She met my uncle while nude?"

"Aye. In the great hall it was. She stripped off Lord Boromir's tunic, pretty as you please, turned around and met the king without blinking an eye. She travels with the Fellowship, and without chaperone if you get my meaning."

His eyebrow raised. Not content with rumor, he stopped her as she crossed the middle of the hall.

"You exchange money for sex?" he inquired quietly.

She looked him over, eyebrow raised. "Sorry, I'm not interested." she said dismissively.

Insulted by her glance, he asked louder "Why is a harlot travelling with the Fellowship?"

His question attracted all eyes. Gimli's hand tightened on his axe. Legolas's hand reached for his blade, only to be stopped by Aragorn. Contrastingly Boromir smirked, leaning back to wait for her eviscerating response.

Her voice carried clearly to all corners. "When you asked to exchange money for sex, I assumed _you_ were the harlot, since _I_ am not." She gave him a look of disgust before she spun on her heel, exiting the room.

Boromir's laugh rang through the room. "You've incurred her wrath now, my friend. You have _no_ idea what torment awaits." He shook his head, before teasing. "I shall look forward to your punishment. She's most creative in its execution."

Stunned silence reined among the Rohirrim.


	9. Edoras Party

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Sorry; Eomer is OOC. I just had to play with him.

Boromir looked over to his friend. "That will not save you." he warned, before Eomer approached Tabatha in the middle of the main hall.

"I'm sorry for calling you a harlot." Eomer stood, waiting her response to his public apology.

Tabatha's eyes travelled over him, before looking over to Boromir. "Boromir knows I'm no trollop. If I were, I would have rode his ass a long time ago. Guess he convinced you, right?" she smirked at him.

Eomer shot a glance at Boromir's roguish grin. Legolas stiffened at the table behind her.

She shook her head, before adding in a provocative tone. "I've an idea how you could make it up to me." She ran a finger down the front of his tunic, eyes following, before raising them to meet his gaze with a challenging stare. "If you're interested."

He nodded asking "And what would that be?"

"I'd love it if you became…personally acquainted with Prince Albert. I can have Herbert show you." Her smile widened as she studied Eomer's confused eyes.

"You were talking about Prince Albert at the council. What does Herbert have to do with the Prince?" Pippin asked from a nearby bench.

Tabatha shot Pippin an amused glance, "MTV turned Lord Elrond's council into a discussion over Prince Albert. That's why I was laughing throughout it. Herbert can demonstrate where the Prince is hidden."

All color drained from Boromir's face, he shuddered and explained with trepidation "It's a ring piercing."

Most of the members of the Fellowship immediately looked nauseous. It took Pippin noticeably a few seconds longer to connect the ring piercing to its location, after which he seemed to fold protectively over his hands resting in his lap. Everybody else from Rohan still regarded Boromir, waiting for a clearer explanation.

With hesitation, he explained "To become personally acquainted with Prince Albert you have to drive a heated metal spike thorough your manhood." A shiver visibly moved through the male population in the hall.

Eomer looked revolted and offended, hand naturally falling to his sword as he glared at her.

"Don't forget to add the ring, to ensure the hole wouldn't close." Tabatha smirked at the surrounding males, before turning back to Eomer.

"You dare?" he ground out stalking nearer to loom over her menacingly.

"Yes, I do dare. So you and your precious" she lowered her eyes southward, before raising to stab his gaze again, "would need to become _personally_ familiar with the Prince, before I'd consider accepting your apology."

Eomer looked ready to throttle her, hand opening and closing around the handle of his weapon. Behind him Legolas stood angrily, held back by Aragorn from interfering in the confrontation.

"Tabatha! You must learn to hold your tongue!" Aragorn admonished, approaching to separate the pair.

Her eyebrow rose. "He wanted to know how he could make it up to me. I told him." She bit her lip to keep her laugher in, seeing his expression. "Of course, if he chooses not to use this option, I'll have to come up with other ideas." she explained earnestly, laughter dancing in her eyes.

Boromir approached her, laying an arm around her shoulder. "You're being a bit harsh with him." he said. "I've been warning you since Rivendell that your actions are interpreted differently here."

She smiled at him. "Yes, despite also being offensive, you were trying to be protective." She wrapped her arm around his waist and squeezed. "That's why you're my friend." She slapped his chest lightly. "If you're asking for clemency for him, I can let it go."

She turned to Eomer. "You're forgiven. Don't let it happen again."

"You can be sure it will not." Still looking revolted, his voice carried the full weight of his abhorrence. "Am I not owed an apology in return?"

"What other conclusion would I have drawn? Since I'm not a trollop, I figured you were. Maybe raising funds for your next campaign?"

Aragorn shot her an admonishing look, as Boromir squeezed her tightly.

Tabatha rolled her eyes at the pair of them. "Fine. Guess we both made a bad first impression then, didn't we?" she asked. "I'm sorry for also suggesting you were a harlot." She held out her hand for him to shake.

Eomer grasped her hand, allowing her to shake it twice and let go. He looked at her in confusion, shooting a look to Boromir for explanation.

"She's from a very different place." Boromir said shrugging. "Shaking hands is the least of her oddities."

"Hey!" she exclaimed, elbowing him in the stomach. "You need to work on your nice skills." she admonished.

"Only as much as your sense of humor needs correction." he retorted.

…

Eomer cornered Boromir. "Why do you let her travel with us? She will be a distraction."

"That's not always a bad thing." Boromir smirked at Eomer.

Tabatha pulled the Fellowship aside, before they reached Isengard. "We can't let word be passed by Saruman back to Sauron. For now, we need to ensure Merry and Pippin think Boromir has died. It's critical. Please tell the others."

"Why can we not tell them the truth?" Boromir asked.

"Do you think Merry wouldn't tell Pippin? Would you trust the fate of your city to Pippin being able to convince others of your death? We cannot afford news to leak back to Gondor before you return."

Grumbling at the subterfuge, the Fellowship reluctantly agreed. Eomer was surprised when his uncle echoed the command.

…

The scent of Longbottom Leaf was carried in the wind, along with hobbit voices.

"A mug of ale in my hand. Putting my feet up on a settle after a hard day's work." Pippin reminisced.

"Only, you've never done a hard day's work." Merry teased him. They both broke out into laughter, looking up at the sound of horses approaching.

"Welcome, my lords, to Isengard!" Merry called to the riders.

"You young rascals! A merry hunt you've led us on and now we find you feasting and, and smoking!" Gimli admonished.

Pippin carefully stood on the spot. Swaying slightly, he proudly informed them "We are sitting on a field of victory enjoying a few well-earned comforts. The salted pork is particularly good."

"Salted pork?" Gimli said with interest.

"Hobbits." Gandalf shook his head.

"We're under orders from Treebeard, who's taken over management of Isengard." Merry declared.

"Young Master Gandalf. I'm glad you've come. Wood and water, stock and stone I can master. But there's a wizard to manage here locked in his tower." Treebeard stated.

…

"Grima, you need not follow him. You were not always as you are now. You were once a Man of Rohan. Come down." Théoden implored.

"A Man of Rohan? What is the house of Rohan but a thatched barn where brigands drink in the reek and their brats roll on the floor with the dogs? The victory at Helm's Deep does not belong to you, Théoden Horse-master. You are a lesser son of greater sires." Saruman taunted.

"Well, he knows where to aim, doesn't he?" Tabatha asked mockingly, looking over at the stricken king.

…

"Tonight we remember those who gave their blood to defend this country. Hail the victorious dead." Théoden cried.

The response "Hail" echoed in the hall.

…

"No pauses. No spills." Eomer told the pair.

"And no regurgitation." Gimli cried, raising his mug in a toast.

"So, it's a drinking game." Legolas stated.

"Last one standing wins." Gimli guffawed loudly challenging the elf.

…

"I feel something. A slight tingle in my fingers. I think it's affecting me." Legolas looking at his fingers in wonder.

Eomer's eyebrow raised at this minor reaction to the large quantity of alcohol Legolas had consumed. The dwarf was obviously heavily inebriated, swaying in his seat and slurring his words.

"What did I say? He can't hold his liquor." Gimli crowed.

"Game over." Legolas smirked, as Gimli passed out. He wandered over with Tabatha towards the hobbits. They were on the other side of the hall, a song advertising the Green Dragon brews ringing out, as Merry and Pippin danced on the tabletop.

"Tabatha" Pippin cried. "Join us!"

"I don't know your songs." she said laughing at the pair.

"That's ok. Sing us one of yours?" At a look from Aragorn, he added "Not a bad one."

Laughing, she was pulled onto the table, where she belted out Bonnie Tyler's 'Holding Out for a Hero'. Cheered on by half drunken men, and ignoring Aragorn's darkening scowl, she changed to Lady Gaga's 'Love Game'. By this point she was swaying sexily on the table, running her hands graphically over her body, sending smoking looks toward Legolas.

At the end of the song, she made a running jump off the table, leaping into his arms. She wrapped her legs around his waist as her lips met his in a steamy kiss. He flushed red, placing his hands on her waist to try to pry her off. Instead she leaned forward and ran her tongue around the outside of his ear, grinding herself against him. "So, can I ride your Disco Stick?" she breathed into his ear.

Rowdy laughter surrounded the pair. "Tabatha, behave." he pleaded, aroused despite himself.

"Still my shy little prude." she laughed, sliding her legs down. He groaned as her body slid against his hardened length.

"Can I at least drag you out to look at the stars?" she asked with a sultry tone. He nodded his agreement.

…

Stars received little attention at first. After exiting the hall, she spun him against the wall, pinning him with devouring kisses.

"Tabatha. We must stop. We cannot do this." Legolas pleaded, breathless with desire.

Her head dropped to his shoulder, arms wrapping around him. "I know. You guys bind for eternity."

His eyes closed in pain.

"You have no idea what I'd love to do with you." she said.

"Tell me." he breathed.

She gave him a sultry smile. She leaned forward seductively as her voice dropped to a whisper. "First, I'd spend a good deal of time just kissing you. I'd nibble along your neck, run my tongue over the tips of your ears, and run my hands through your hair." Her hands mimicked her words as she stroked through his hair, exploring the silken texture.

"I'd want to strip off your tunic. My hands would explore every inch of your exposed skin." Her hands dropped to graze over his chest. "My tongue would follow, tasting you everywhere. I would place love bites on every sensitive location I found."

He groaned before her.

"I'd drop to my knees, and remove your leggings, slowly, so slowly. My hands would drag down your legs, my fingers stroking your entire length." Her hands skimmed over his leggings. "My hand would come up the inside of your thighs, to discover your hardened length beaded with precum, waiting for me to taste you." She slid forward, grinding against him.

Her eyes focused deep in his eyes. "I would lick you like a lollipop. My mouth would close over you, sucking first only on the head, teasing you. Slowly I would lower, my lips sliding down your shaft. My hand would rise to caress your balls, rolling them with my fingers." Her breathing quickened at the mental picture.

"Frustratingly slowly, I'd move up and down, waiting for you to lose control. Waiting for you to plead for more." Her hands roamed over his body, feeling his increasing tension, his heart hammering. "Running my tongue over your vein, and around the head. When your breathing changes, I'd stand back up, and wrap my legs around you. I'd drive your leaking shaft between my legs and ride you with all my strength."

His breath matched hers. As she breathed in, he breathed out. He inhaled her energized breath. Ripples of pleasure formed at her words. His face flushed red. He felt a warmth flow into his core. It was intoxicating, precious. Unexpected. Gasping, his eyes closed as he leaned against her.

She hugged him, squeezing tightly. "Once you exploded, I'd wrap my arms around you, and hold you in my arms, happy."

"We don't even know if you get to stay. We have no idea how you got here." His words tasted like ash in his mouth.

"I don't want to think about it." She squeezed him tighter, tormented by the thought. "I'd rather think about having sex with you." Her eyes met his "I love you."

Overwhelmed, his eyes gazed into hers a long moment. His hands reached up to frame her face, as his lips slowly descended to meet hers. "Le melin" (Sindarin, I love you.) he whispered back.

…

Eomer crashed into Tabatha in the hallway. He grasped her with unsteady hands. "Boromir's little friend. Or is it Legolas you're after? Or do you play with both?" he chided.

Tabatha's eyebrow rose. From behind, she saw two of his men approach, trying to maneuver him back to his bed. He fought their hands off with ease, focused on getting answers from her.

"I will not go back to bed. I want more drink." he said, scowling in their direction.

She winked at the two men flanking him. "Why don't we go somewhere private to discuss this?" she asked in a sultry voice.

His head nodded, as she slipped her hand onto his arm to pull him along, and discreetly motioned his troops to show her the way. Keeping a smile fixed on her face, she steered him down the hall.

Once in the room, she settled him on the bed. Turning to leave she was held back by his grasping her tunic. "I'll have my answers from you first wench." he stated.

Tabatha smiled at Eomer, flicking her hand behind her back to have the door closed behind her by his guard.

"I'd love to give you answers. Any you desire." she said, looking him over with a stripping gaze. Her tongue ran over her lips as her eyes met his again. "But first, how about we get you more comfortable?"

He nodded vaguely. Smirking, Tabatha reached for his tunic, pulling it over his head. She tossed the garment to the floor. He fell back against the pillows, his stretched length filling the bed.

He moaned underneath her, as she had to straddle his hips to remove his belt. Successful, she cried out in triumph. He bucked at the noise, rubbing himself between her legs.

"Your control is lacking milord. For that you must be punished." she admonished him.

His eyes widened. "Do what you must." he breathed, eyes huge.

"As you wish." She brought his right hand to the headboard, securing it in place. Spying straps from his horse tack, she quickly freed another for the other hand.

"Do you need more?" she asked, looking at his clearly defined hardened shaft, before meeting his eyes.

"Please" he pleaded.

Slowly, she unbuttoned his breeches. He sprang free with a sigh, no longer confined. She slipped her fingers down his sides, stripping him completely within moments.

His heated stare met hers.

She studied him dispassionately. His hair surrounded his head in a mixed blonde halo, contrasting with the strength shown in his body. Muscles were clearly defined through his arms, shoulders and chest, less cut through his stomach, before bulging through his thighs.

His cock jumped under her regard, beading at the tip. Smirking, she ran her hand down the full length of his leg, before adjusting his legs. Satisfied, she grasped two more lengths of leather, binding his ankles in a spread-eagle position. Spotting a thin hair tie, she secured it around his engorged length. He whimpered as the knot was tightened. She finished her work with a bow, carefully never touching his straining member.

Sighing, she ran her hand over his chest, her fingers turning his head in her direction.

"Now, do I have your attention?" she asked.

He nodded, still in a mildly drunken haze.

"Good. Here's the situation. Boromir is a friend. Legolas is more. You are neither, and are acting inappropriately."

His horrified eyes met hers. He shook his head in mute disagreement.

"Will you remember this conversation in the morning?" she asked.

His look turned puzzled, as he tried to focus on her words.

Rolling her eyes, she informed him "I'll leave you a note to ensure you understand." She grabbed a piece of charcoal from the small fireplace, and wrote over his chest 'Tabatha was here. Talk in am.'

Smirking she left him secured, locking the door behind her.

Abjectly, Eomer regarded his trussed length.

…

Rain was pouring down. Darkness descended. Screams ricocheting off the walls. Smell of blood and fear. An explosion. Stone dust in her mouth. Desperation rising. "Haldir" she cried.

Flickering torches highlighted churning masses of menace around him. She watched the descending blade in horrifying slow motion. Death. Aragorn; too late.

Tears running down her cheeks, she awoke. Slowly, slowly her eyes focused, awareness of Edoras surrounding her, protecting her, came. She was alone. She forced her breath back to a normal rhythm.

Shaken, she slipped on shoes, to wander in the night seeking solace.

…

"There was no lie in Pippin's eyes. A fool...but an honest fool he remains. He told Sauron nothing of Frodo and The Ring. We've been strangely fortunate. Pippin saw in the palantir a glimpse of the enemy's plan. Sauron moves to strike the city of Minas Tirith." Gandalf reported.

At the side of the hall, Boromir started. Tabatha slipped in front of him, grasping his wrist and placing a hand over his mouth. Her fierce look silenced his questions.

"His defeat at Helm's Deep showed our enemy one thing. He knows the Heir of Elendil has come forth. Men are not as weak as he supposed. There is courage still, strength enough perhaps to challenge him. Sauron fears this. He will not risk the peoples of Middle-earth uniting under one banner. He will raze Minas Tirith to the ground before he sees a king return to the Throne of Men."

Filled with torment, Boromir stared at Tabatha. Eyes bright with unshed tears, she met his gaze quietly, shaking her head. "It must be like this. All will be well, I promise."

"If the beacons of Gondor are lit, Rohan must be ready for war." Gandalf implored.

"Tell me why should we ride to the aid of those who did not come to ours? What do we owe Gondor?" Théoden asked with rancor.

"I will go." Aragorn volunteered immediately.

"No!" Gandalf cried vehemently.

"They must be warned." Aragorn argued.

"They will be." he admonished. His voice lowered to quietly tell him "You must come to Minas Tirith by another road. Follow the river. Look to the black ships."

Speaking again to the hall, he continued "Understand this: Things are now in motion that cannot be undone. I ride for Minas Tirith...and I won't be going alone." Gandalf glared down at the young hobbit, who wilted under his gaze.

…

"Merry!" Aragorn called after him, following his mad dash up the tower to watch his departing cousin.

"He's always followed me...everywhere I went...since before we were tweens. I would get him into the worst sort of trouble but I was always there to get him out. Now he's gone. Just like Frodo and Sam." Merry said sadly.

"One thing I have learned about hobbits; they're a most hardy folk." Aragorn said comfortingly.

"Foolhardy, maybe. He's a Took." Merry smiled brightly up at him.

Turning, he saw Boromir for the first time since the falls. "Boromir!" he cried. "I thought you were dead!" He dashed down the tower to greet his friend.

"Pippin and I were so worried that you died. Why didn't anyone tell us you were alive?" he asked.

"Tabatha. She saw it was important that Minas Tirith not know of my survival for the next while. She thought Pippin would let it slip I was alive." he told the hobbit. With an ironic smile, he continued "It was her pink shirt that saved my life."

Merry burst out laughing. "She must love that. I doubt she'll ever let you forget it."

"Her memory for embarrassing details has not faltered. Her impact has only just started in Rohan. I doubt any country is safe from her influence." He gave Merry a roguish grin.

…

"So, Haldir. We have some time. How about those classes?" Tabatha asked brightly.

Legolas, having spotted her wandering off with Haldir, Herbert in hand, moved to follow her. "Legolas! Want to join us. I've promised to give Haldir sex classes."

Haldir immediately flushed red. Tabatha turned to him to ask, "You don't mind if Legolas joins us, do you?"

Shamefully eyeing the other elf, he reluctantly agreed. Looking at Haldir's obvious embarrassment, Legolas turned down the offer, wandering away, his own ears cherry-bright.

Settled under a tree in a small garden she started. "Foreplay, or what occurs before you jump into the penetrative act is vital to a good sex life. This can range from suggestive comments, touches, looks, whatever, as long as it's revving the engine. Men can rev in 5 minutes, women generally take 20. Let me show you. Take off your tunic."

His head reared back in dismay.

"Don't worry, this part is also a healing technique. I'm going to touch your back, neck and shoulders, and that's it." she informed him. "So take off your tunic, and lie face down on the ground."

Reluctantly, he removed his top, quickly lying down on the ground. She had him cradle his head on his arms, before she started warming up the oil between her hands. Satisfied, she worked liquid into his shoulders, first focusing on relaxing his trap muscles. Gradually they loosened, and his shoulders dropped with a sigh. Smiling, she worked her way down his back.

"This is an amazing thing to do for a partner. You wouldn't believe how much stress we carry around without noticing it." Her hands moved from long strokes, to working knots hidden under his skin.

"Sex is about achieving a connection with a partner. Being mellow makes it easier to achieve. Non-sexual touching can show caring, without the obvious end of an orgasm. Massage can be great foreplay."

Haldir felt himself melting under her hands for the next twenty minutes.

Seeing her pull out Herbert for the first demo, he had to ask "Why did you name him Herbert?"

"You know, I have no idea. It just came to me that he needed a name." she shrugged. She looked over his shoulder to spot Boromir approaching.

"Boromir! What are you up to? Did you want to join us too?"

Haldir looked over at Boromir like he preferred the ground would open up. Amused, she implored "You don't mind volunteering to act in a demo, do you? You can act as a coach for masturbation lessons. You haven't been on watch since Helm's Deep; you should have recent practice."

Halted in his tracks by her request, his jaw hit the ground as his face reddened. After a few attempts, he was able to respond "I'm sure you will be most though without any help from me." He spun on his heel, fleeing the area.

Haldir looked like he wanted to follow him. His eyebrow raised at her, face flushed red. "Why did I need to know this?"

She smirked at him. "Happy mate, remember?" She winked.

"The end goal in sex is an orgasm. Both sexes can have multiples, but females are more known to. Males generally are halted by ejaculation. But more is not necessarily better. I find I'm bored after a dozen orgasms in one day."

If possible, Haldir's embarrassment seemed to increase. It took strength of will to return his eyes to her hands.

"There are a few important places to note." She indicated highly sensitive male areas on Herbert, tracing over the slit, under the mushroom cap, and down the main vein down the underside. She resorted to drawing in the dirt for the female diagrams.

His head was reeling. He had learned of the clit, the G-spot, and the prostate. She had called the clit an 'old faithful', the G-spot a 'Holy Grail' and the prostate a 'pushbutton for cum'. He knew the first time a female was vaginally penetrated, the hymen would break, with a small amount of blood. He found out both sexes could enjoy the back gate, but it took 30-60 seconds to deactivate the unconscious valve, before the second valve should be broached. Stretching with fingers or tongue was used for both entrances, especially important for those unused to sex.

She had covered the concepts of BDSM and other common kinks in more detail. He was dismayed when she related the submissive position during sex to his acceptance of her massage. It did make it seem better but he was uncomfortable with the lack of control.

Finally, he was released from her grasp. His blood slowly faded from his face, returning swiftly each time he caught the eyes of Tabatha, Boromir or Legolas for the rest of the day.

…

Bright sunlight stabbed into Eomer's eyes in the late morning. His head pounded, his mouth was dry and his muscles were stiff. He groaned, remembering the excess of the previous night. He stretched his limbs; or attempted to. He came fully awake as he realized his bound situation. He glanced around the room. He was in Edoras, in his own room. Growling, he pulled at the straps, looking to see the leather of his horse tack utilized to secure him.

Frustrated by his own attempts to free himself, he called for his men. Instead, Gamling, passing by in the hall, heard and responded. His eyes shot to his hairline taking in secured heir.

"Tabatha was here?" he inquired mildly.

Eomer looked down to see her scrawled handwriting over his chest. His face thunderous, he demanded "Release me."

Gamling strode over to the bed, and unfastened the straps around his arms. He grimaced as Eomer's first move was to remove the hair tie.

The door opened. A sentry stood there for a moment, before requesting Eomer join his uncle in the great hall.

As Eomer strode in, he could feel the weight of stares following him. Rumor flew faster than he had risen. His uncle looked at him in amusement. "Tabatha was here?" he questioned.


	10. Dunharrow

Tabatha was called before the king. Eomer stood over his shoulder, flushed and glaring at her.

"You left Eomer a note?" he said mildly.

Tabatha smirked, before addressing Eomer. "You were asking me about Legolas and Boromir again while drunk. And not taking no for an answer. I simply left a note that we should talk this morning, when the answer might sink in."

Eomer growled at her "You tied me to the bed."

"Well, I didn't want you to smear the note." she said earnestly, blinking her eyes at him with innocence.

He looked ready to throttle her. "I was left naked!" he hissed at her, his voice rising louder.

"Well, you couldn't misplace, smear or miss the note, now could you?" She bit her lip as she attempted to keep herself from breaking down into laughter at his expression, with obvious effort. Her mirth fed Eomer's raging ire.

Face red, he all but bellowed "You bound my manhood!" The words echoed in the suddenly silent hall. Looking around, she saw they had captured the attention of the hall, and lost any perception of privacy the king had attempted to give them.

"And now anyone who didn't believe that rumor just heard it confirmed by your own lips." she smirked at him. "I never touched your precious, I only tied a band around it. It prevented you from using it until you were sober. If it was there this morning, you'll have no bastards from last night's indiscretions, at least from after I encountered you. " she chided him.

He drew back, startled at her observation.

"If you can't handle your drink, ensure you're not drunk in the future." she admonished him. "Your troops had issues getting you to stay in bed. I helped."

She dragged her eyes top to bottom and back again along his form. He flushed under her criticizing gaze. Her voice dropped lower. "You're now next in line of succession. Your troops should be worried about external threats; not concerned about your own lack of control. Grow up before life forces it upon you." she told him vehemently. "Next time I need to tie you up, I'll introduce Herbert to your ass."

Eyebrows rising at this last, Théoden nodded his agreement. "She's right. You owe her another apology."

With deadly gaze, Eomer ground one out.

Théoden looked her over critically. "I trust Herbert was an idle threat?" he said warningly.

"It wasn't idle." She smirked at Théoden, before winking. "No worries. I'm not into non-consensual. To get Herbert, he'd have to beg for it." She shot Eomer a significant look. "Last night, that wouldn't take much. He was already _begging_ to be punished."

Eomer's breath caught as she flounced away, leaving him to face his uncle.

…

Boromir confronted her first. "Tabatha! Tell us you didn't!" he said, leading her to where the remaining Fellowship was gathered.

"That depends. What didn't I do?" she questioned with an innocent smile.

Gimli grunted. "Tied up Eomer and left a note on his chest?"

"That? Of course I did that. No worries. He apologized this morning for the necessity of my doing that." She beamed at them.

"Tabatha!" Boromir cried out. "You cannot tie up a Marshal of Rohan!"

She rolled her eyes at him. "Well then, who can?" she asked smirking up at him.

Merry watched, wide-eyed as she defended herself. Haldir peered down admonishingly from across the table. Gimli was left sputtering at her response.

"Tabatha!" Legolas groaned, closing his eyes to her obstinacy. "You know better. You've already been at odds; this does not make it better."

"Well he wouldn't stay in bed. His solders kept chasing him down the hall, and he was chasing me for answers he already was told. What else was I to do?" she cried out earnestly.

Aragorn stared her down. "Get one of us." he told her, carefully enunciating each word. "We would have handled it differently." he implored.

"I left him a note to discuss it when he was sober." she grumbled. When that statement didn't cause a change in their expressions, she retorted "He called me wench." She pouted, crossed her arms, her chin took on a stubborn tilt, and she glared down at the floor.

There was no answer, as the others continued to stare her down.

"Ok, fine. Next time a drunken man pursues me I'll send someone to wake you up." she promised. "But you have to come quick, or I'll have to handle it myself."

Aragorn's lips twitched at her reluctant agreement. The rest of the Fellowship nodded in acceptance.

She raised her head to find Legolas and Boromir. "So, did you two want to join me and answer his questions, again? I'm not sure he's convinced." she asked.

Aragorn's eyes rolled, as Boromir threw up his hands and strode away in disbelief. Gimli gripped his weapon harder, as if he would use it to knock some sense into her. Legolas sighed.

…

Aragorn ran through the doors. "The beacons of Minas Tirith! The beacons are lit! Gondor calls for aid." Aragorn shouted, his eyes imploring.

Théoden paused for an endless moment. "And Rohan will answer. Muster the Rohirrim." Théoden cried out. "Assemble the army at Dunharrow. As many men as can be found. You have two days. On the third, we ride for Gondor and war." he instructed his marshals.

"Will you ride with us?" Aragorn asked Eowyn.

"Just to the encampment. It's tradition for the women of the court to farewell the men." Eowyn informed him with a smile.

Aragorn raised a blanket on her saddle, exposing the hilt of a sword. His eyebrows raised in question.

"The men have found their captain. They will follow you into battle, even to death. You have given us hope." Eowyn told him, eyes shining brightly.

…

Gimli snorted. "Horsemen. I wish I could muster a legion of Dwarves, fully armed and filthy."

"Really? Why is filthy a requirement?" Tabatha asked curiously.

"They'd be filthy with the blood of our enemies." Gimli responded proudly.

"Your kinsmen may have no need to ride to war. I fear war already marches on their own lands." Legolas said quietly. Tabatha gripped his shoulder for a moment, grounding him. He smiled gratefully at her.

Eomer shouted "Now is the hour. Riders of Rohan, oaths you have taken. Now, fulfill them all. To lord and land! Hyah!"

Slowly the Rohirrim gathered speed to war.

…

"The horses are restless and the men are quiet." Legolas observed quietly.

Eomer responded. "They grow nervous in the shadow of the mountain."

"That road there, where does that lead?" Gimli asked, sensing the darkness swirling within.

"It is the road to the Dimholt, the door under the mountain." Legolas informed him.

"None who venture there ever return. That mountain is evil." Eomer said with a shiver.

Shooting the Dimholt road a look, Tabatha grabbed the sleeves of both Boromir and Haldir. "Come with me." she commanded.

"I have a dilemma. How can I save a man among the Rohirrim?"

"What are the circumstances around his death?" Boromir asked.

"He'll fall by the hand of the Witch King, in the middle of the plains, with no spot for cover, unlike Helm's Deep. He doesn't fall by arrow. I do not know how to prevent it." Tabatha spoke quickly as her thoughts raced, trying to find a solution.

After more than an hour of fruitless brainstorming, no solutions on how to even reduce the odds were suggested. Finally, they agreed to sleep on it.

…

After one glance at Tabatha, Boromir ordered Eowyn to find and bring Legolas. He quietly approached her sleeping form, sitting beside her. He put both hands on her shoulders, trying to shake her awake. "Tabatha." he called, "Wake up."

Instinctively she knew better than to make sound. Instead, her entire body was shaking, tears running down her cheeks. Her arms rose, fighting him off.

Legolas barged into the tent, Haldir at his heels.

Boromir retreated to the side, watching as Legolas pulled her into his arms.

"Melamin, (Sindarin, My love) wake up." Legolas ran his arms up and down her back, as he buried her head in the junction of his shoulder and neck. "It will be alright." he reassured.

Tabatha woke with a silent scream, surrounded by a familiar scent.

She'd seen it again. Helm's Deep. This time Haldir was joined by Boromir, blood running in the dirt. 'I caused this.' Her mind had berated her, showing visions of bodies torn apart by the explosion.

She had been surrounded by mothers, asking why she choose to let their children die. 'There was another way.' Another way to convince Théoden to support Aragorn. Another way to have Aragorn step up and choose to act as a king.

She drew in a shuddering breath. Gradually her ragged breathing came under control.

Haldir and Boromir looked on as she returned Legolas's squeeze, mind now aware of her location.

"What was the nightmare about?" he asked.

"Helm's Deep." she responded.

He closed his eyes in pain. "I wanted to spare you." he choked out, face twisted in grief.

"It wouldn't have made a difference. I keep getting asked in my dreams why I allowed the explosion to happen. Why did I not stop the walls from being breached? I knew it was coming." she said tonelessly.

"You may as well ask me the same question. Aragorn asked me to bring down the uruk-hai with the torch. I failed." She looked into his eyes, caressing the side of his face in comfort.

"Battle is not a place you can control the outcomes." Haldir said. "That you have been successful at all is a surprise I'm grateful for."

"But I must." she insisted.

"Why?" Legolas coaxed.

"I promised to save Théoden too. He's the last I can name to fall." Her eyes met his imploringly.

Boromir looked sharply at her, startled. "The king should know of this." he said, before leaving to fetch him.

…

"My Lord, Tabatha needs to speak to you on the next battle." Boromir requested.

"What does a woman know of war?" scorned one of the men from Westfold.

Boromir's hand fell to his sword, as he retorted menacingly. "She is more than she appears. She's saved my life, and those of the elves at Helm's Deep with her foresight. Now she would take council with you, Théoden king." directing the last towards the king.

"Bring her before us than." a commander from Fenmarch challenged.

"I think not. If the king would council with her, he must go to her." He glared around the group. "Alone."

Théoden nodded his agreement, gesturing his council to remain in place for the moment.

"She's in no shape to face a group of men to be mocked for what she sees and cannot prevent." Boromir whispered to the king, leading the way.

…

Théoden strode into the tent. Legolas shot him a glare, protectively tightening his hold on Tabatha. Haldir prevented Théoden from approaching too close.

"What is it you would tell me?" Théoden asked gently, seeing her distress.

"I cannot. I cannot see how to change the details, and still win the war."

"She has seen your death." Haldir supplied. "Her sight is true."

Tabatha glared at Haldir. "He should not have been told."

Théoden was allowed to approach, sitting on her other side. "I am old, Tabatha. I have no fear of death in battle. Only for the safety of my people. Tell me what you know, that I may aid them to victory."

She took a deep breath, considering. "You die at the hand of the Witch King. That's important. Seeing you fall, two attack him. He is injured by one, slain by the other. Both fall victim to the black breath, to be healed by Aragorn in Minas Tirith."

"But the Witch King cannot be slain by mortal man." Boromir breathed.

"He won't be. Which is why you'll fall when you face him." She met his eyes bravely with compassion. "The two who attack him, neither are _men_ of Rohan." She winked at him. "But they are of Rohan."

"And what of my people?" Théoden asked.

"Rohan will survive. You'll ask Eowyn to take up your seat in the Golden Hall before we leave here. There will be a heavy price for the coming battle, but less than you think. Lord Elrond will be here shortly, to give Aragorn a sword."

Haldir started at this news.

"Aragorn needs to go by the Dimholt road; and bring the cursed army. They'll supply the numbers we're missing." She grinned at him. "They also don't fear death; they've been dead a thousand years. Makes them really hard to kill again in battle."

"If this is what you have foreseen, it is a good sight. I will ride gladly to my death, knowing the armies of Sauron are defeated."

He looked sharply at her. "You will not interfere. Ride with Aragorn, not with the Rohirrim. Stay with the Fellowship. I have no desire to challenge fate. My death is not in your hands." He stood, departing swiftly.

Tabatha glared at Boromir. "He should not have been told."

"You brought comfort to him. He'll be able to lead his people with courage." Legolas said, comforting her.

Boromir also defended his actions. "He is happy; he'll have a warrior's death. His name will be sung in the Golden Hall for generations."

"Sight is not a good thing in the current times." Legolas said consolingly. "We're grateful for what good you've already done."

"No kidding. I'd much rather see pictures of fluffy bunnies. Where's my fluffy bunnies?" she complained, drawing up a blanket, cuddling against Legolas. He tightened his hold.

The others left the tent, leaving them to the solitude found wrapped in each other's arms.

"What dreams did you have before you came to this world?" Legolas asked quietly.

She smiled faintly. "I wanted to graduate with honors. I dreamed of working in a global company, getting people of different backgrounds to work together, and create something wonderful. How about you?"

"I have served at my father's court since I was an elfling. I want to travel this world, free of Sauron. Free of the hate and distrust he's stirred. I would see to the remaking of the alliances between peoples, an exchange of knowledge and skill."

"OMG. You want to remain friends with Gimli! Yeah! Finally!" she chortled.

He laughed at her enthusiasm. "Yes, those are my waking dreams." He said with a squeeze.

His eyes penetrated hers, as his voice took on a sultry edge "And what of nighttime dreaming?"

"Do you really want to know? You feature prominently in them." She purred at him. "And you're not wearing much either." She pulled back to gaze into his eyes, licking her lips. "Or I could just show you. If you're ready for more than just kisses?" She asked, her eyebrow raised in inquiry.

His eyes pierced hers. "I have dreamed of your words since they spilled so tantalizingly out of your mouth, arwenamin. (Sindarin, my lady) They hound my thoughts during the day." His tormented voice groaned at her. His head descended to place kisses along her face, before finally capturing her lips.

Moaning, she pressed against him. Driven by desire, he dragged her body to drape over his thighs. His hardened length was trapped between them. She rose on her knees, rubbing him between them.

Her hand plunged into his hair. Desperate for air, she pulled his head back, trailing kisses down the side of his neck. Smirking, she raised higher, running her tongue around the outline of his ear. He shuddered beneath her, hands shaking at her waist, breath panting in staccato rhythm.

She turned her attentions back to his mouth. She dueled him for dominance, finally succumbing to his strength. Daringly she ran her hands over his body, feeling his muscles twitching in response, supersensitive to her touch. He moaned quietly at her efforts.

His hands, once at a loss, now caressed her back, holding her close. "Legolas" she cried. She pulled open his tunic, planting kisses over each exposed inch. Her tongue darted out, tasting along the faint defined outline of his muscles. He surged beneath her as she playfully sucked on the hardened nub of his nipples. She bit down gently, looking up at his eyes mischievously, before lapping at the abused flesh.

He groaned again when she reached for the bindings of his leggings. His hand grabbed her wrist, holding it determinedly away. "No." He gasped. "Le melin (Sindarin, I love you.), but we cannot."

His eyes met hers with trepidation at this latest refusal. Breathing heavily, Tabatha worked to gain control, her hands stroking lightly over his body. "As you wish." she whispered to him. "Always as you wish." She kissed him chastely on the lips, resting her forehead against his, breathing still irregular.

"Please don't go away now." She pleaded. "I still want to touch you. Feel you. Hold you."

He sighed, nodding in agreement. She settled against his body, holding him tight. Gradually he softened beneath her as sleep overcame them both.

…

"There. A true esquire of Rohan." Eowyn said.

"I'm ready!" Merry said, waving the sword around. Eowyn jumped back out of range.

Merry apologized. "It isn't all that dangerous. It's not even sharp." he told her.

"Well, that's no good. You won't kill many orcs with a blunt blade. Come on. To the smithy. Go!" Eowyn said, biting back her laughter.

"You should not encourage him." Eomer chided her.

"You should not doubt him." Eowyn challenged back.

"I do not doubt his heart, only the reach of his arm." Eomer berated.

"Why should Merry be left behind? He has as much cause to go to war as you. Why can he not fight for those he loves?" Eowyn pleaded.

"You know as little of war as that hobbit. When the fear takes him…and the blood and the screams and the horror of battle take hold…do you think he would stand and fight? He would flee. And he would be right to do so. War is the province of men, Eowyn." Eomer stood menacingly over her, demanding she agree.

"Bunch of Neanderthals the lot of them are too." Tabatha whispered to herself, observing the scene.

Waiting for Eomer to vanish, she approached Eowyn. "Merry's more than just heart you know. All the hobbits have a key role in this conflict." Looking at her significantly, she continued. "He'll protect your back if you let him. Ensure he rides with you if you would win this war."

Eowyn gave her a strange look. "They say you are a seer. Is this true?" she asked hesitatingly.

"They say a lot about me, don't they?" Tabatha smirked at her. "I do know what you will do. Good luck, and take care of yourself out there." She gave a startled Eowyn a hug. "I'll see you in Minas Tirith after the battle."

…

Gimli stopped Aragorn to demand "Just where do you think you're off to?"

"Not this time. This time you must stay, Gimli." Aragorn commanded.

"Mm" Gimli said non-committally.

"Have you learned nothing of the stubbornness of dwarves?" Legolas chided him, walking with a readied horse up to the pair.

"Or elves." Boromir said with a smirk, leading another horse to the group, trailed by Tabatha and Haldir.

"Tabatha, no. Stay with Eowyn." Aragorn pleaded.

"Really? You think _I'll_ be safe with Eowyn?" she laughed. "Nope. Remember, the only place safe in Middle Earth for me is with the Fellowship. It wasn't my idea to get dragged along in these primitive conditions. With no toilets." She smirked at him. "You're stuck with my ass." She wiggled it, giving a slap and winking at Legolas. He rolled his eyes in amusement at her antics.

Aragorn ground his teeth. He shot a look to Legolas, but apparently he was in agreement to bring Tabatha.

"Oh, I know exactly where you're going, and what you're up to." She tapped beside her eyes. "Sight remember. I foresee" She closed her eyes dramatically, covering them with the palm of a hand. "We'll all need a bath by the time we next see water." Her grin widened at Aragorn's increasing ire.

"You might as well accept it. We're going with you, laddie." Gimli retorted.

Aragorn sighed in resigned acceptance.

…

"What's happening? Where is he going?" a man asked from the crowd.

The confusion grew. "Where's he going? I don't understand." another cried.

"Lord Aragorn!"

"Why does he leave on the eve of battle?" the thought echoed in the ranks.

"Tabatha goes with him. The woman goes with him."

"He leaves because there is no hope." Gamling said despondently.

"He leaves because he must." Théoden countered strongly.

"Too few have come. We cannot defeat the armies of Mordor." Gamling said with trepidation.

"No, we cannot." Théoden agreed. "But we will meet them in battle nonetheless." He said, smiling confidently.

"You learned something from the seer." A man of Fenmarch called.

Théoden looked over at the commander. "There is hope. Rohan will survive. We are _not_ alone." He added with careful emphasis.

Remembering the elves arrival as despair galloped through the ranks at Helm's Deep, the mood shifted amongst the Rohirrim to reflect growing purpose and determination.

…

"What kind of army would linger in such a place?" Gimli asked warily.

"One that is cursed. Long ago, the Men of the Mountains swore an oath to the last King of Gondor to come to his aid to fight. But when the time came, when Gondor's need was dire, they fled; vanishing into the darkness of the mountain. And so Isildur cursed them, never to rest until they had fulfilled their pledge."

"Who shall call them from the grey twilight? The forgotten people. The heir of him to whom the oath they swore. From the north shall he come. Need shall drive him. He shall pass the door to the Paths of the Dead." Legolas recited the relevant passages of the tale, his voice ringing in the dark.

"The very warmth of my blood seems stolen away." Gimli shuddered.

Stopping to read the doorway, Legolas translated the words. "The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead. And the Dead keep it. The way is shut."

"Brego!" Aragorn called after his horse spooked and ran away. Seeing their horses distress matched Brego's, the others quickly secured their kit, freeing them to return. "I do not fear death." Aragorn hissed, striding into the gaping maw of the mountain.

Plunging into darkness behind him, Haldir and Legolas quickly followed. Taking a deep breath, Boromir trailed after with Tabatha on his heels.

"Well, this is a thing unheard-of. An Elf will go underground where a Dwarf dare not? Oh. Oh, I'd never hear the end of it." Gimli wailed, bracing the dark.

…

"What is it? What do you see?" Gimli hissed.

"I see shapes of men. And of horses." Legolas responded. Haldir agreed.

"Where?" Gimli called, twisting around in the dark.

"Pale banners like shreds of cloud. Spears rise like winter-thickets through a shroud of mist. The Dead are following. They have been summoned." Legolas said ominously.

"The Dead? Summoned?" Gimli gave a faint chuckle. "I knew that. Huh. Ha. Very good! Very good!" he chortled desperately, before calling "Legolas!" and running after the elf.

"Do not look down." Aragorn warned.

Promptly, the others looked down to discover bones cracking to dust beneath their feet. Tabatha squealed, waving her hands "Gross. This is so gross. Why did I come with you again? I said we would need a bath." She tried to dance between the bones. "Yuck." she cried as she couldn't avoid crushing some.

"Who enters my domain?" King of the Dead demanded.

"One who will have your allegiance." Aragorn returned.

"The Dead do not suffer the living to pass." King of the Dead said scornfully.

"You will suffer me." Aragorn replied.

"The way is shut. It was made by those who are dead. And the Dead keep it. The way is shut." King of the Dead said threateningly. "Now you must die."

"I summon you to fulfill your oath." Aragorn commanded.

"None but the King of Gondor may command me." The King of the Dead swung his blade at Aragorn. Aragorn met it with confidence. "That blade was broken." he hissed.

"It has been remade." Aragorn retorted. "Fight for us and regain your honor. What say you?" He turned to face more of the troops, displaying the blade for their view. "What say you?"

"Ah! You waste your time, Aragorn. They had no honor in life, they have none now in death." Gimli challenged.

"I am Isildur's heir. Fight for me and I will hold your oaths fulfilled." Aragorn coaxed. "What say you? You have my word! Fight, and I will release you from this living death! What say you?" he cried.

Silently, the nebulous ghosts of a bygone age vanished before their eyes.

"Stand, you traitors!" Gimli demanded, his voice ringing in the dark.

A familiar avalanche sound was heard deep in the mountain. Its echoes increasing as a cascade of skulls was released onto the Fellowship.

"Out! Legolas! Run!" Aragorn cried, swimming against the current of bones. The group plunged through the river, aiding each other to the far side.

Finally free to breathe fresh air, the group gasped for oxygen. Raising his eyes, Aragorn's horrified gaze rested on a fleet of black ships sailing down the river. Breaking, he fell to his knees in despair.

Silently behind him, the ghostly army materialized.

"We fight." King of the Dead said with finality, surrounded by the ethereal troops.

"And we need a bath." Tabatha commented, rolling her eyes. She received a look from the rest of the group. "What, I called it didn't I? I said we'd need a bath when we reached water."

"You failed to mention a few details in between." Boromir ground out, glaring at her.

She shrugged. "Details, who cares about details?" she asked.


	11. Minas Tirith

"You may go no further. You will not enter Gondor." Aragorn called.

"Who are you to deny us passage?" a voice mocked from the ship.

"Legolas, fire a warning shot past the bosun's ear." Aragorn asked.

"Mind your aim." Gimli nudged the bottom of the bow. The shot went wide, striking and killing the man next to the bosun. His hand covered his mouth in a fake gape of shock. "Oh! That's it. Right. We warned you. Prepare to be boarded." Gimli said.

"Boarded? By you and whose army?" The crew broke into spiteful laughter.

"This army." Aragorn smiled as the cursed army surged through them, a tsunami cresting over the now fearful pirates.

…

"Get some rest." Aragorn advised her. "It's a three day journey to Minas Tirith with good wind."

Tabatha looked up at him from where she was sitting, highlighting the deep shadows under her eyes. "I have tried, I keep getting nightmares. My mind is overrun with questions."

"Tell me of what you dream." he asked, sitting beside her.

She gave him a wan smile, meeting his eyes reluctantly. "It's Helm's Deep. I see the battle, both as it happened and in the movies. I am sickened now by how I enjoyed the drama of the films. Seeing the sheer number of enemies, rooting for the small number of defenders. I laughed at Legolas surfing down the stairs on the back of an uruk-hai shield. Gimli asking you to toss him, but not tell the elf. I was almost unaffected by the deaths on either side. Except Haldir. I cried every time I watched the scene, seeing his understanding of the death of all his kinsmen, as the fatal blow descended." She gave him a pathetic smile. "You saw him fall, and reached him as the light faded from his eyes. I hated that he died. Without his death, the entire battle of Helm's Deep would mean nothing to me, raising as many tears as reading of a war from long ago; none."

Aragorn draped his arm around her. "And the battle in truth?"

"It was so different. It was overwhelming. The sounds, the smells. I was able to get through it by pretending everything I saw was part of the movie. And then I saw Haleth's body. It's the first time someone I've recognized has died, really died." Tears were now running down her face.

"I began to question my actions. I knew the wall would explode; I didn't tell anyone. How many deaths am I responsible for because I held my silence? Because I wanted things to work out the way I knew. Maybe there was another way, with fewer deaths. How much blood is on my hands?" Tabatha broke down into sobs.

"You bear a heavy burden Tabatha. To watch someone choose the path to their death. To know the future, and allow people to grieve, even if it's not required as in Gandalf's case. To work alone to find ways to save others, even in the face of their own resistance. You have great inner strength."

"What if I've changed too much? What if it's all been in vain?" she asked with trepidation.

"I do not know for what purpose you came here, but I do not believe that saving the lives of Boromir, Haldir and the other elves is a bad thing. Do not take on the burden of other deaths with what ifs. Trust in yourself, as we have learned to trust in you." They sat in silence for a while.

…

Legolas and Haldir exchanged a look. The conversation from the higher deck had spilled down to their sensitive ears.

"She hides her worry well." Haldir said.

"She disguises her concern in inappropriate behavior and focusing on trivialities." Legolas responded. "She asked you the color of your undershirt, without telling you the garment already saved Boromir's life." He smiled at his friend. "She had both groups laughing within moments of your arrival."

"Yes, at me." Haldir grumbled. "I did not realize how innocent of violence she was."

Legolas smiled, "Yes, she knows more than either of us about sex, but her knowledge of violence is nonexistent. Do you know she will still not come near the cooking fire if she can identify the meat going in the pot?" His eyes twinkled in memory. "The first time a rabbit was skinned in front of her, she became ill, and refused to eat. Sam was mortally offended."

"What did she eat before she came here then?" Haldir wondered.

…

"Anyone mind if I sunbathe today?" Tabatha asked.

She received some puzzled looks, but with no disagreement forthcoming, Tabatha made her way to the highest deck. There she stripped down to her lingerie, before resting on a towel. She reached behind her, and undid the bra band and slipped the shoulder straps off. She sighed as she melted into the warming rays of the sun.

She was still tired, and shortly fell asleep. She woke slowly at first, blinking her eyes in the light. She was startled wide awake when she realized there was an audience of glowing green men around her. She instinctively started to sit up, before realizing her bra was undone. She quickly grabbed it, twisting her arms awkwardly behind her to attempt the clasp.

"What are you doing here?" she questioned them.

"Enjoying the view." Came the response from a leering toothless old ghost.

She stared down her nose at him. "Have you never seen a woman before?" she asked scornfully.

"I haven't seen a woman for more than a thousand years." he chuckled at her.

"I've never seen a woman naked before." Chimed in a young looking male ghost. She shot him a sympathetic look.

"Aragorn!" she called loudly.

"Yes Tabatha?" he responded.

"Why exactly did we need to collect a sex starved army of horny ghost voyeurs?" she demanded.

…

Tabatha moaned as she sank in the slightly cool water. Falling asleep had been a bad idea; her skin was now extra crispy. The bath was to leach heat from her body, before applying the burn cream.

They had found the bath in the captain's cabin. It had taken forever to heat water for a lukewarm bath, but she was satisfied it was well worth it. She rested her head against the rim, reflecting on the last few days.

Suddenly, she felt a slight chill. She opened her eyes to see the head of a leering ghost suspended halfway through her thighs. It was looking between her legs, and licking his lips.

She screeched. The King of the Dead appeared, surrounded by more of his men. A moment more, and both Legolas and Haldir had burst in the door. Seeing her undressed state, both elves immediately looked elsewhere.

"You. Control your men. Get this thing out of my bath!" she screeched.

Toothless licked his lips. "It's been so long since I've seen a woman. I just wanted to remember." he said plaintively.

"By sticking your head between my thighs for a better view? I think not." she responded vehemently.

Aragorn and Boromir arrived at the door, followed by a panting Gimli.

"Am I putting on a show for everyone? Out! All of you out! And take your voyeur with you." she demanded of the undead king.

…

Tabatha got slowly out of the water, carefully toweling off the worst of the moisture. She slipped on some underwear before lying on the bed and calling out for Legolas.

Cautiously he opened the door. His breath hitched as he once again beheld her nearly nude body. "Lle anta amin tu?" (Sindarin, Do you need help?)

She smiled at him. "You're a lifesaver. Here's the burn paste. Can you please spread it over everywhere that's red?"

He swallowed. Most of her body was visibly tinged with red. His eyes trailed down the length of her spine, skimming over the length of her legs. He would start at the bottom and work up he resolved.

He sat beside her on the bed, drawing her legs over his lap. His fingers dipped into the cold paste, tingling from the cooling mint. Methodically he rubbed his hands together, spreading the paste over them. His eyes caressed the path his hands soon followed. Carefully he worked the cream into her heated skin.

Feeling the immediate relief, Tabatha moaned. The sound appeared directly connected to his cock, as it rose in response. His strokes were caressing, feeling the silky skin sliding under his palms. Slowly he worked the cream in circular strokes up her leg, pausing to kiss behind each knee as he past them.

His hands skimmed over her ass, slipping a fingertip just under the outline of the fabric thong. Her scent filled the room, as a sensual sigh was torn from her. Her breathing rate increased, as he felt her heart rate quicken under his hands.

His own breath hitched in his throat. He closed his eyes, battling for control. He slid her legs off of his, before kneeling beside her back. His hand dipped for more cream, before both hands were caressing her shoulders. Meticulously he ensured his hands rubbed every inch of her skin, as she melted beneath his touch. He finished each area with a soft kiss, brushing his lips lightly against her skin.

"Legolas" she cried between the sinful moans his ministrations were forcing from her.

Finally, he could no longer pretend he had not covered every inch of her reddened skin. He reluctantly closed the container, bending to give her a swift kiss on her head.

She reached out, grabbing his tunic and pulling him down for a more passionate response. She went to turn over, when he stopped her.

"No, stay as you are. You do not want to undo my good work." he pleaded.

She smirked up at him. "Would you need to repeat it again? That would be an incentive."

He groaned, closing his eyes as if in pain. "I have not that strength. Please do not ask that of me arwenamin." (Sindarin, my lady) His heated eyes met hers.

"Stay. Lay beside me." she asked.

"I cannot, not clothed as you are." He looked around the room, spotting her cloak. Carefully, he draped it over her body, before pulling a chair beside the bed. "I will stay here, and watch you rest." he promised.

"Still my shy elf. Le melin." (Sindarin, I love you.) She smiled faintly at him, before falling into a light doze.

"Le melin." (Sindarin, I love you.) he responded.

…

Sounds of conflict had been heard since dawn, the scents of battle carried in the breeze. Slowly the ships sailed up to the docks of Minas Tirith.

The orc commander greeted them. "Late as usual, pirate scum! There's knife-work here needs doing. Come on, you sea rats! Get off your ships!" he demanded.

Smirking to each other, the Fellowship vaulted off the ship decks, weapons drawn.

"There's plenty for the both of us. May the best Dwarf win." Gimli grinned as he raised his axe in threatening anticipation.

The orcs laughed at them; until the ghostly army appeared to overrun the shore, sweeping inland with deadly malice. The defenders chortled, racing forward to challenge Sauron's remaining forces.

…

"Legolas!" Aragorn called in warning.

Legolas turned, to see an oliphant approaching. He dove out of the way, before using arrows stuck in its hide as a ladder to the top. Shooting from this vantage point, he continued his count. "Thirty-three, thirty-four."

He grabbed a rope, taking out a blade to slice the girth on the beast. He allowed the weight of the falling structure to pull him to the top. Satisfied, he focused on planting arrows behind its skull. Dying, the oliphant fell to the ground. Legolas jumped to the trunk, sliding down with ease. He met Gimli at the bottom, watching his success.

"That still only counts as one!" Gimli admonished.

Tabatha looked at the dwarf, eyebrows raised, before she shook her head at his response. She turned to face a new enemy, a toothless ghost raising a sword by her side.

…

"Release us." King of the Dead demanded.

"Bad idea. Very handy in a tight spot, these lads, despite the fact they're dead." Gimli told Aragorn.

"You gave us your word." King of the Dead berated Aragorn, angered at idea of the curse continuing.

"I hold your oath fulfilled. Go. Be at peace." Aragorn said with a smile.

Sighing, the host vanished into the breeze.

Tabatha let out a cheer, dancing around in a circle. The others looked at her in question.

"Hey, I've just lost my ghostly leering party. It's definitely something to celebrate.

She turned to Aragorn. "A few people are going to need your healing touch. Most notably Eowyn, Merry and possibility Faramir. You'll need Kingsfoil; the first two at least have a touch of the black breath."

"What's wrong with my brother?" Boromir demanded immediately.

"Eowyn? I should have guessed she would not be left behind." Aragorn chided himself.

"Your brother had extensive burns. I think he's up on the top level." Without another word, Boromir ran towards the city.

Tabatha turned to Aragorn. "He'll need help. His father thought they both were dead, and tried to set Faramir and himself on fire in an old-style funeral pyre. Pippin and Gandalf rescued Faramir, but his father took his own life."

Aragorn nodded in acknowledgement and sorrow.

She turned to Haldir. "Eomer will be in a worse state. He's now an orphan for the second time, and his sister's close to death. Can you help him?" she asked.

"Why me?" he inquired.

"Aragorn and Boromir will be busy. He needs someone of rank to speak to; he wears a mask with his men. You both have lost your parents, and can bond over hating me." She winked at him. "Just try to not let him take my head before Eowyn's recovered? I want to congratulate her for slaying the Witch-King."

"She was the one who killed him?" Aragorn asked in surprise.

"He couldn't be killed by mortal man, remember? She's missing the dangly bits." She smirked at his reddening face. "She qualified."

…

Eomer, tear tracks still visible through the dirt on his face, crouched by Eowyn's stretcher, holding her hand.

Aragorn approached, already holding a basin with the healing herbs. He sat on the edge of the bed, wiping her forehead and murmuring under his breath.

After a long while, she slowly opened her eyes, to focus on Aragorn's smiling face. Confused, she turned to see Eomer's grateful gaze, his hand clutching hers, as tears again ran down his face.

…

Boromir stood by the window, looking out from the halls of healing over the destruction of the city below.

"You knew. You knew my father would do this." Boromir asked her, shoulders already hunched, bracing for her answer.

Tabatha approached Boromir, gripping his shoulder in comfort. Legolas and Gimli trailed in behind her, offering silent support.

"I knew. Your father was driven insane by Sauron. He used the palantir, and fell to its effects. There was no way to bring him back from that. I also knew Faramir would survive."

Boromir let out a shuddering breath. "I did not think he was capable of this. He never loved Faramir as he should, never saw his true worth, but this?" His shattered gaze met hers.

She pulled him into a hug. "He didn't want to live when he realized you both were gone. He wouldn't believe Pippin that your brother was alive. Pippin and Gandalf saved him."

Boromir let out a ragged breath, before falling into the seat by his brother's bed, clutching his hand desperately.

Faramir opened his eyes to see his brother staring down at him. "I thought you were dead." he muttered quietly in disbelief, tears springing to his eyes.

"I almost was. But how could I leave my brother behind?" Boromir asked, unspent tears shinning in his.

Faramir smiled wanly at him. "Father is dead."

"I have heard. Do not trouble yourself with it. Work on getting better yourself." He smiled down. "There's much left to do, and I have no talent outside battle." He grinned down at his brother. "The king will have much use of your scholarship."

"The king has come?" Faramir grinned up at him, feeling again like a child.

"Yes." he said. Boromir looked his brother in the eyes. "He's a good man. Worth following."

…

She was grabbed from the side, pinned to the wall. Her eyes rose to meet Eomer's enraged glare. "You allowed my uncle to fall. Eowyn was hurt after you encouraged her to join the battle. Do not think I'll allow this to pass unchallenged." He ground out threateningly, arm crushingly pressed against her throat.

Haldir stepped forward to grab his shoulder, vehemently informing him. "Your uncle knew his fate. He choose to meet it head on, secure in the knowledge that his death would help Rohan."

Tabatha looked into Eomer's eyes, before adding "Merry and Eowyn saw him fall, and both attacked the Witch King, your sister killing him. She was the only one on the battle field who could."

"What do you mean?" Eomer demanded, his eyes never leaving Tabatha.

"It's common knowledge in Gondor; the Witch King could not be killed by mortal man. He could however, be killed by a woman. Your sister solved the riddle." She gave him a tentative smile.

"Why did you not do it?" he growled at Tabatha, arm banging again against her throat.

At this, Haldir forcefully pulled him off of her. Gasping for air, she leaned against the wall as she responded. "It was your sister's moment of victory. She's trained for years for this opportunity; I could not match her skill. Your uncle also forbade me from riding with the Rohan. That left it to her to fulfill her destiny."

"You manipulated her!" he cried.

"So did you." She yelled back, before her voice dropped again. "You told your sister she was a coward to her face; that she would flee from battle, and that it was right that she did so. Is that not what you wished, rather than the truth? Isn't that why you got so angry when she didn't agree? You knew her mind, knew her courage and feared that her actions might lead her to harm." Tabatha hissed at him. "Your words goaded her to prove you wrong."

Haldir flinched at her harsh words.

"I swore to protect her!" Eomer yelled.

"As she swore to protect _you_. " Tabatha yelled back.

Eomer took a deep breath, trying to collect himself. Still breathing heavily, he ground out "It was not her job! War is the province of Men!"

Tabatha laughed in his face, before retorting scornfully. "You wish. War affects everyone."

Struggling for control, Eomer gave a frustrated cry at her words, hand slamming against the wall.

"There is some good from this." Tabatha offered tentatively.

Eomer shot her an incredulous look.

"She will find love here in Gondor… as will you."

His scathing glare raked her body at this 'positive' news.

A wide mischievous grin bloomed on her face. "After all, you will need heirs…your majesty. Why not find love as well?"

Poleaxed, Eomer paled as he finally realized the full impact of Théoden's death.

…

"So, you are the one they talk about." Faramir observed.

"Depends. What are they saying about me?" Tabatha asked with a smirk.

"That you travel with the Fellowship. That you're a seer." he said cautiously.

"And that's it?" she teased.

His eyes didn't meet hers, but his skin took on a faint rosy glow.

Tabatha just grinned at him. "No worries. Your brother has been coaching me on proper decorum since Rivendell. For some reason, it hasn't seemed to help."

Faramir broke out into laughter. "My brother? Coaching on proper decorum?" His eyes twinkled at her.

Tabatha smirked at him. "Yup. Surprising isn't it?" she chortled.

"You've captured his attention than." he smiled up at her. "I never thought to see the day."

"Just as a friend. He says he'd have no sympathy for anyone who married a hellion like me." She winked at him mischievously. "Even if that's exactly what he deserves."

Faramir laughed again. "Sounds like you have some interesting stories to tell about my older brother."

Tabatha smirked, dropping onto the side of his bed. "Absolutely. Do you know your grumpy brother has the cutest blush?"

His eyebrows rose. "I haven't heard of or seen my brother blush in years. What did you do to cause this?" he asked with a grin.

"Me?" she asked, trying to look innocent, before breaking down into laughter. She looked up to see Boromir approaching Faramir's door. "Do you want to see him blush? It's rather easy." she teased.

Faramir nodded.

She looked up to smirk at the approaching Boromir, before replying "Ok. Ask him what color his undershirts are." She asked, keeping her eyes fixed on Boromir's paling face.

Boromir's approaching steps faltered, as his expression turned to horror.

"If that doesn't work, ask him about the game 'Truth or Dare' and what question he had to answer in Moria." She said, holding Boromir's dismayed gaze.

Red bloomed across Boromir's face, as Faramir turned to see his brother's shocked visage.

Faramir greeted his brother with a roguish grin. "So, do you have answers for me brother? I am most intrigued to hear your response."

Tabatha skipped out of Boromir's range, with laughter trailing her escaping steps down the hall.

He turned to face his mirthful brother with trepidation. He saw that Tabatha had just ensured his torment for years to come.

…

"Frodo has passed beyond my sight. The darkness is deepening." Gandalf said ominously.

"If Sauron had the Ring, we would know it." Aragorn replied.

"It's only a matter of time. He has suffered a defeat, yes, but behind the walls of Mordor, our enemy is regrouping." Gandalf berated.

"Let him stay there. Let him rot!" Gimli retorted. "Why should we care?"

"Because 10,000 Orcs now stand between Frodo and Mount Doom." Gandalf admonished. "I've sent him to his death." he berated himself.

"No. There is still hope for Frodo. He needs time and safe passage across the plains of Gorgoroth. We can give him that." Aragorn said.

"How?" Gimli asked.

Aragorn suggested "Draw out Sauron's armies. Empty his lands. Then we gather our full strength and march on the Black Gate."

Boromir coughed violently, looking over at Tabatha. She nodded to him.

"We cannot achieve victory through strength of arms." Eomer warned.

"Not for ourselves. But we can give Frodo his chance if we keep Sauron's Eye fixed upon us. Keep him blind to all else that moves." Aragorn coaxed.

"A diversion." Legolas smiled.

"Certainty of death...small chance of success...what are we waiting for?" Gimli demanded.

"Sauron will suspect a trap. He will not take the bait." Gandalf cautioned.

"Oh, I think he will." Aragorn said confidently.

…

"You cannot come." Legolas informed her.

"What do you mean I cannot come? Of course I'm coming." Tabatha responded.

"No, Tabatha, you're not. Your fighting skills are mediocre at best." Legolas told her, his voice hard. "You would not survive in this battle. You haven't recovered from Helm's Deep; you still face nightmares. I will not allow you to put yourself at risk for a suicidal fight."

"I'd like to see you stop me." she spat at him.

"I will ask the king; he will agree with me. You are not to fight." Legolas warned.

She laughed scornfully at him, her hands clenching around open air rhythmically. "Do you really think your high-handed behavior is appropriate? Do you think you can dictate to me what I should do? You have so much to learn about me." She shook her head at him.

Legolas silently stared down at her.

"Fine than. Since you obviously don't love me for who I really am, consider us over. I will not be dictated to by a misogynistic elf with medieval ideals!" she spun on her heal and stalked from the room.

Bewildered, Legolas stared at her retreating back, shattered.

…

Darkness remained, shadowing the noon sun. A cold breeze raced over the broken stones of the city, creating ominous whistles in the air.

Legolas sat on the edge of the wall, looking down despondently at the bloodied plains, watching the dust cloud of a messenger disappear towards Mirkwood in the distance.

Haldir approached, sitting beside him.

"She doesn't love me." He said in a flatly dead voice. He turned to Haldir, his eyes showing his broken heart. "I was a fool to believe in her words." he said. "I was a fool to believe she would love me." he whispered to himself.

…

Haldir confronted her outside her room, freezing her with his angry words. "You heartless woman. How dare you claim to love him, then break his heart when you do not get your own way."

Tabatha scoffed at him. "I haven't broken his heart. He'd have to have one first."

"Do you not understand?" His hands gripped her shoulders pinning her in place, as his voice dropped to a berating growl. "He's bound himself to you. It was obvious after Helm's Deep."

She shook her head at his words. "Not a chance. We haven't had sex. He can't be bound."

Haldir raised her chin to spear her eyes. "Well, you both did something, because his life is now tied to yours. He's fading without you."

She recoiled from him. "How can that be?" she demanded.

He voice gentled. "He loves you. But you've thrown him away. Why did you bind him if you have no feelings for him?" he asked.

"I loved him." she choked out, tears breaking free to run down her face. "I love him."

His eyes met hers intensely. "Then do not let him leave for battle then with this weighing on his heart." he counseled. "He won't live to return." he told her ominously.


	12. Mordor

Aragorn stood alone in the throne room. He had to enrage Sauron to spur him to battle at the Black Gate. He touched the palantir. A flaming eye came into focus.

"Long have you hunted me. Long have I eluded you. No more. Behold the Sword of Elendil." Aragorn challenged, twisting the blade to catch the light.

Sauron fought back, showing Aragorn a picture of Arwen dying.

The palantir fell from his hand, rolling over the floor. With it Aragorn dropped the token she gave him, the pendant shattering on the floor as was foretold in his prophetic dream. Throwing a cloak over the cursed object, he fervently hoped that it was enough.

…

Tabatha raced through the streets of Minas Tirith. The army had been gathering for the last few days. She had yet to find Legolas. Every time she approached where he was rumored to be, he was long gone from the area. He was avoiding her.

Finally she saw Aragorn. She ran to his side, gasping for air. "I can't find Legolas. I've been searching for 3 days. You have to help me." She demanded, breaking into his conversation with his advisors.

The old men sneered at her, annoyed at her interruption.

Aragorn looked at her, eyebrows raised. "What are you asking for?"

"Haven't you done enough to the lad?" Gimli challenged, glaring at her and gripping his axe tighter.

"No!" she cried. "It was a mistake. We had an argument. He didn't want me to come to the Black Gate. I reacted badly to how he told me." she pleaded. "Please, help me. I need to talk to him. I'm desperate."

"What purpose would that serve?" Aragorn asked.

"I love him. Don't you see? Haldir said we're bonded. That he's fading. I don't understand how it happened." Tabatha shook her head, resuming "I need to clear this up. I can't lose him." she said, gripping his arm frantically.

"I'll give him the message." Aragorn replied, looking at her with sympathy.

Gimli just huffed in disapproval.

…

Tabatha was curled into a ball, huddled under the covers. Her tear streaked face reflected in the moonlight as she whimpered his name in her sleep.

He looked down at her sleeping form. "Tabatha" he said softly. He shook her. "Tabatha, wake up."

She clawed her way from her nightmarish dreams, seeing his pale form in the low light. "Legolas! You came. I was so worried." She lurched at him, pulling him into an embrace. "Why have you been avoiding me?" she demanded as she pulled back to look at him.

He looked awful. His hair was dull, his expression stone faced, but his eyes…his eyes showed the breaking of his spirit. His movements were stilted, awkward, driven more by rote than desire.

She ran her hands over his frozen form, attempting to elicit a response. "What did we do?" she asked. "Haldir said we're bonded, and you're now fading. You really don't look that great." she said, biting her lip. Her worried eyes attempted to meet his vacant ones.

He told her tonelessly "We cannot live without love." before he gave her an ironic bittersweet smile. "You don't want me; soon I'll trouble you no longer."

"What!" she exclaimed.

"Haldir's right; I've started to fade." His expression didn't change with this stark announcement of his approaching death.

"I never thought it would end like this. I had hoped to have years to cherish you." His hand caressed her face softly, before he minutely shrugged his shoulders. "No matter. I've said my goodbyes. You are the last." He stared at her, as if to memorize her face.

"Legolas, no! You can't leave me. I love you." She wrapped her arms around him, tears streaming from her eyes as she sobbed. "I've been searching for you for three days to tell you. I didn't mean what I said."

"Didn't you?" he questioned. "I asked you not to fight. You laughed in my face; told me I didn't love you, and tossed away my courtship." His voice broke, before whispering "What else was I to believe but that you didn't love me?"

She clutched him tighter. "My poor dear elf; I was angry at you. You ordered me away from the fight; the last battle of the Fellowship I've been part of for months. You were going to ask Aragorn to pick sides in our fight."

"You never wanted to join the Fellowship. You were coerced." he retaliated.

She captured his fractured gaze, before intently coaxing "I wanted to see the end; I didn't want to watch you ride off to battle, leaving me waiting in the city. I know I'm not a skilled warrior; I just wanted to be with you. Can you not understand?" she pleaded.

"Why? Why is it so important to risk yourself to be with me?" he demanded with frustration. "Why can you not remain safe?"

"Because I promised you." Her hand reached up to caress his face. "I promised you that after we met in Edoras, that we didn't need to be parted again before the end."

Legolas closed his eyes. "What have I done?" His mask broke as his face twisted in grief. "Arwenamin (Sindarin, my lady) how you must hate me." His body appeared to collapse into itself as he clutched her for support.

"Why would I hate you? I love you remember?" she said, a tremulous smile breaking free. She chastely kissed his forehead as her fingers ran through his hair, seeking to comfort him.

His searing gaze never left hers. "Truly? I did not imagine your love?" his wavering voice whispered.

Her gaze matched his. "No. You never imagined it. Le melin." (Sindarin, I love you.)

Legolas sank beside her on the bed.

She squeezed his hand, before saying "We're both so different…I did not expect to already be bonded to you."

Legolas stiffened. "Amin hiraetha." (Sindarin, I'm sorry)

Tabatha tightened her grip on him. "Not so fast; no running away. I'm just curious how it happened."

"I am unsure." he hesitated, no longer meeting her eyes.

"Haldir said it occurred at Helm's Deep?" she probed.

"We believe it is tied to my people's courtship rituals. Among us, the bond is acknowledged after the first kiss." He gave her an uncertain look. "Normally the bond is completed that night, so the steps initiating the bond are unclear."

"Bound by love's first passionate kiss. It's romantic." she offered, pausing before speaking again. "We really have rushed into things, haven't we?"

He nodded his head tentatively.

Her free hand stroked over their joined ones. "I'm not complaining. It's just, there's so much I need to learn about this world, about elves, about you." Her hand squeezed his again. "As you need to learn about me. If we knew more about each other, this might not have happened."

He drew in a deep shaking breath, picking his words with care. "You've been bewitching me since the first moment we met. My dreams have been of you since Rivendell." he confessed. "Even as you teased me incessantly, I was drawn to you. You've confused me. You've challenged me."

His eyes now held hers intently. "Nobody in the last thousand years has made me feel the things you do." He dropped his eyes to their hands, before meeting hers again, emotions laid bare. "I soar at your smile, and plummet at your frown."

Tabatha fanned herself with her free hand. "You have no idea of the effect your words have on me, do you?" Her radiant smile beamed at him. She leaned towards him, before she whispered in his ear "I'd jump you for those last words alone."

His ears went cherry red. Tabatha ran her tongue over the heated outline. His breath hissed as a fiery bolt of desire shot to his groin.

She leaned back to look at him. His eyes were now bright, pupils blown wide with desire.

"You know in my country, they say makeup sex is the best kind." She smiled at him.

Breathing staccato and heart pounding with need, Legolas still drew back uncertainly.

Tabatha's hand ran reassuringly up his arm, before clasping both behind his neck. "I know you're not ready yet, and our first time shouldn't be after an argument." she soothed. "But I'm also sure that statement works for kisses too." She hinted, eyes twinkling at him. "Want to test the theory?"

He leaned forward to capture her lips with a sigh. She was his again.

…

Wrapping Tabatha in his arms as they leaned against the headboard, Legolas broached their argument again. "Why did you react so quickly in our argument earlier?"

Tabatha remained silent, pondering her response.

"Arwenamin, (Sindarin, my lady) I need to know." he asked gently.

"I'll admit, I react badly to being told what to do. This culture, this world is horrible for it. I've… I've had bad experiences being dictated to." she said quietly.

"My last boyfriend; you would say the last person to court me, was very controlling. I didn't notice it at first. He'd do things like offering to drive me home from work, nice things. I didn't recognize he was cutting me off from other people." she shrugged.

"I finally clued in when I went to a gym 5 minutes from my house. He had to drive 15 minutes to get there, and would spend half the class watching every move I made. I wasn't allowed to talk to anyone after the class before he would impatiently drag me off home. When I questioned his actions, he got mad."

She breathed in deeply, deliberately releasing tension in a controlled exhale. "I couldn't handle it. I can't deal with controlling behavior like that." she revealed.

He reflected a while before offering "So you felt I was cutting you off from the Fellowship?"

"They're almost the only ones I know in this world." she said. "I didn't realize how desperately I've needed them to maintain my sanity until you suggested I leave them."

He nodded, finally beginning to understand. "We have a difficult task before us. Many will be killed in this diversion. I could not bear it if it claimed you." His hand stroked through her hair.

"I was raised as a protector of my people, of my family. Only at greatest need would I want you in the path of danger." he cautioned. "This rests at the core of my being. I cannot change this instinct."

"I know. You're a hero." She smiled at him, pecking his lips quickly, before settling back into his arms.

His lips twitched in a small smile at her childish reaction.

Her voice filled with regret. "I have seen the end. I want to calm your fears as they arise, not have you face them alone."

"I am not alone. Neither would you be." he chided. "Haldir remains healing here, and Eowyn."

"Haldir does? I didn't know that." Tabatha grinned at him. "Eowyn will be busy; Faramir is smitten."

Legolas laughed. "Does Boromir know?"

"Better to ask if Eomer does. I warned him she'll fall in love. But it was at the same time I suggested he would. I think he was distracted by that." she smirked at him. "That and I reminded him he needed to produce little rug-rats of his own."

…

There had been a big debate over who would manage the city during the king's diversion. Faramir lost, as evidenced by the king formally handing over the Office of the Steward to him.

Boromir had laughed when Faramir attempted to nominate him. "No little brother, you shall do much better in my stead. I ride with the Fellowship still, and seek to bring an end to this menace. Stay here, recover well."

He shot a glance sideways. "Look after Tabatha for Legolas, would you? We'll not recognize the city on our return otherwise." he requested with a roguish grin.

Tabatha poked him in the ribs, laughing. "Just you wait. For that I'll arrange a special surprise for you." she taunted.

"Not too special. Gondor has just survived an attack. I'm not sure it would survive your efforts as well." Aragorn said, hugging her.

She pouted at him. "Spoil all my fun, won't you…Ok. I'll try to hold back. Maybe a little."

…

"Take care, arwenamin." (Sindarin, my lady) Legolas said, embracing her tightly. She squeezed back, whispering "Le melin." (Sindarin, I love you.) in his ear, before kissing him passionately.

His ears turned cherry red as he broke from her embrace.

Gimli slapped his arm. "I'll watch the elf for you." he told her. "Somebody should." he said, huffing in Legolas's direction with an eye-roll.

Legolas nodded to Haldir, before mounting his horse and holding his hand out for Gimli to join him.

"Have no fear. I'll watch your lady love." Haldir told the prince.

She watched with Haldir the long columns of men and horses moving across the bloody plains until they were out of sight.

…

Tabatha's cheery voice greeted the bedridden Eowyn. "Hey lazybones, aren't you going to jump out of bed anytime soon? I'm bored."

Eowyn carefully sat up cradling her broken arm. "How is it that you have been left behind? Can't they use a seer with them?" she asked.

"No, I'm not really needed. I'm not really good in battle anyways. I travelled with the Fellowship more for my protection. But we're at the final battle now. The king's forces against the might of Sauron. I can't see much beyond this." Tabatha fluffed off her concerns.

"I wish I could see." Eowyn said wistfully.

"Sight isn't as great as you think." Tabatha said flatly. "I got to see the battle of Helm's Deep years before it happened. Now I have nightly nightmares of what I didn't change. Could I have changed more? Maybe; but I don't know if we'd be here right now." Her eyes filled with tears.

Eowyn gave her an appalled look. "Years? You saw Helm's Deep years before it happened?" she demanded.

"The hardest part of sight is letting people fail, letting them suffer." Her voice cracked. "As much as I could wish to spare them, people learn things during the journey. If I prevent their pain, can they endure it when I can't stop it?" she gave Eowyn a watery look.

Eowyn pulled her into a compassionate hug. Tabatha shuddered at the empathy, tears finally streaking down her face.

"I told your uncle the future. I spoke to him at Dunharrow. He knew he rode to his death, and went willingly to face it, knowing you would slay the Witch King. I didn't tell him it was you. I just said two riders of Rohan." she revealed. "You and Merry. You were fated to kill him."

"If he knew it was me, he would have found a way to stop me." Eowyn lamented. "At least I know now that my presence could not have saved him."

"Exactly. He would have spared you the pain of combat. I'm sorry I couldn't." Tabatha said to her sincerely.

"I would have not been happy to stay home. Every day the cage grew stronger as I beat silently against the bars. My brother now seeks to shelter me as my uncle has done." she shuddered.

Tabatha smirked at her. "I think your brother's worse."

Eowyn gave a tiny laugh. "You may be right."

"He loves you a lot. After nearly loosing you, it will be hard for him to let you go." Tabatha sympathized, before offering "There is a way out."

"And what way would you have me take?" she asked, curious.

"Fall in love with a man of Gondor." Tabatha winked at Eowyn. "Your brother will be too far away and they'll be too scared of your wrath to dare cage you."

"You know who I'll marry, don't you!" Eowyn gasped.

Tabatha just returned a saucy wink before teasing. "Of course I do. And yes, he's hot stuff too." She nudged Eowyn's leg. "He's even brave enough to face the Nazgul slayer herself!"

Eowyn's delighted laughter rang down the halls, inspiriting the men still recovering.

…

"So Faramir, any ideas on how to get back at your brother?" Tabatha asked, eyes twinkling.

Faramir grinned at her. "I heard you were exceptionally talented at revenge." he suggested.

"Quiet! That's supposed to be a secret." she replied, finger held over her lips. Her expression sobered slightly. "Seriously, I have to ask. What state is the treasury in?"

Puzzled, he asked "Why do you want to know?"

Still not explaining, she probed again. "I suspect that repairs around here will make a huge dent in the coffers, unless you were very cash happy before the war?"

"We were not." he offered tentatively, without revealing details.

She smirked at him. "Beyond those people you'll fine and tax and whatnot, are there still independently wealthy individuals in the city?"

Intrigued, he responded. "Perhaps. But the crown will not have funds to pay back a loan for many years."

"I'm not thinking of paying them back. More like getting them to donate for a good cause." Her eyes dared him to question further.

Unresisting, he did. "How so?"

"We used to hold fundraising events for charity back home." she stated.

He nodded, still puzzled as to where her thoughts were leading.

"Pick a project dear to the hearts of the citizens, like building a home for orphans, and fund it with donations. Have the crown match contributions, rather than fund it entirely." Tabatha proposed.

"How does my brother fit in?" he wondered, still cautious.

With a mischievous grin, she stated "I'm suggesting we sell his ass."

Faramir choked in disbelief, eyes wide.

"Auction him off to the highest bidder as a date for the upcoming coronation or some other event." She grinned at him. "With his saucy smile he must have plenty of matchmakers already planning his downfall."

Faramir broke into gales of laughter. "My brother was right about you. You do need watching."

"I have no idea what you mean." she replied with mock innocence, nose in the air.

Gasping for air, he warned "He will regret leaving you here in the city."

"Of that, I have no doubt." She winked at him. "You have the connections in Gondor to pull this off, and to gather other 'suitable' candidates."

"I'll think on it." he said with a smile. "Boromir has been successfully escaping their snares for years. It would be fun to watch his mounting dread."

She smirked. "I can tackle Haldir for elven connections. The poor elf's been without for a few thousand years. It's about time he gets a girlfriend, or at least a date, don't you think?"

Shaking his head in mild horror at her plotting, he wondered if he would recognize his city after a few weeks with her running loose. He fervently hoped so, before she continued with a sly look in his direction.

"You could ask Eowyn for help with the Rohan. I'm sure she's bored in the halls of healing, and could use some intelligent conversation." she suggested.

Faramir blushed slightly, not meeting her eyes.

Tabatha chortled. "After all, she's got a brother who's still single and needs heirs."

Eyes wide, he lamented. "I think I'll need her help to limit your swath of destruction on the bachelorhood of Middle Earth."

…

She broached the subject the next day. "Haldir, do you expect to be around for Aragorn's coronation?"

"I am uncertain. It would be a relief for most of those who travelled to Helm's Deep to be back home. Wounds are less irksome in a familiar environment. Many of my kin have not learned common, at least not well." he replied.

"This event will be special. I know there will be an elven party returning from Minas Tirith; Lord Elrond will be here, and I think your Lord Celeborn as well." she offered.

"What are you scheming now?" he asked.

"What? I don't know what you mean." she asked innocently.

"Tabatha." he ground out warningly.

"Ok, fine. I've come up with a plan to raise money for a charity, if Faramir agrees and Aragorn doesn't squash it, which involves your help. Basically, we auction off various things." She hesitated, increasing Haldir's nervousness, before she proposed "One of them being a date with you?"

His eyes grew wide. "I have no trouble finding a partner for a celebration!" he exclaimed.

She smirked at him. "But you've been looking for millennia, and haven't found any to bond with. Maybe you should try something different."

Haldir gave a low growl in his throat, as thoughts of ways to throttle her flashed through his mind.

She poked his stomach, drawing his attention as she demanded "Hear me out. There are rules for both parties to follow. Nothing happens during the event; you talk, dance a few times and eat. That's it."

He glared at her, before sitting back to think. She waited impatiently for his response.

Finally, he relented under her unwavering stare. "I will do this if other males also are subject to this humiliation. And…" his eyes took on an evil glint "if you are also up for auction."

She gave him a slow Cheshire grin "Want to bet on who raises the most money, pretty boy?" she taunted him.

"Challenge accepted." he replied.

…

"The city has fallen silent. There is no warmth left in the sun. It grows so cold." Eowyn said, running her hands up and down her arms to generate heat.

"It's just the damp of the first spring rain. I do not believe this darkness will endure." Faramir told her with a small smile. Daringly, he reached down to grasp her hand to offer comfort.

Eowyn glanced down at their joined hands, before meeting his gaze with a tentative smile.

Together, they turned to watch the city below them.

…

"Never thought I'd die fighting side by side with an Elf." Gimli observed.

"What about side by side with a friend?" Legolas asked.

"Aye. I could do that." Gimli responded gruffly, a suspicious wetness in his eyes.

…

Haldir approached to wrap Tabatha in a cloak as the hidden sun descended, dropping the temperature further. She frequently stood sentry over the city, watching the skies above Mordor with increasing agitation.

"How soon until they reach the Black Gate?" she asked.

"They'll be there in the morning." he responded.

"Tomorrow we'll know." She smiled wanly up at Haldir. "I miss him."

"I know."

…

Her vigil was rejoined in the morning. They watched for hours as the skies grew darker. Finally, Mount Doom exploded into the sky in a pillar of flame.

"Frodo did it." she breathed. They're coming home."

…

Tabatha was walking with Eowyn along the walls of the seventh level when she spotted them. "I wonder who that is?" she said to Eowyn.

"I have heard that the elvin King rides such an animal." she told her.

"Ah shit." Tabatha looked around warily. "I think I'm in trouble."

Eowyn looked at her inquiringly.

Caving, she explained. "That would be Legolas's father. He must have found out about our bonding. It was a bit unplanned at the time."

The elven party could be seen streaking quickly across the plains. They traveled light; a party of nine only, easily identified as the King's party by the antlered rider in the forefront.

Tentatively, Eowyn stated. "I did not think it usual for elves to bind with the race of man."

Tabatha snorted, rolling her eyes. "They have ballads on how bad an idea it is."

"The elven king is rumored to be cold towards mortals." she probed further.

"From Gimli's tales, cold doesn't quite cover it. Absolute zero sounds about right." Tabatha said with apprehension. "Apparently his methods of dealing with troublesome mortals include incarceration until they die. I'm soooo looking forward to family events." she said sarcastically.

…

Faramir sat nervously in the throne room to greet the king.

Thranduil strode in ahead of four of his honor guard, his expression carved of stone. His ringing tones filled the hall. "I have come to claim my son's body, and demand swift justice for his death."


	13. Return to Minas Tirith

"I believe there's been an error. At last report he was alive." Faramir told him.

Thranduil stiffened, demanding "What do you mean at last report?"

Faramir offered cautiously "He went with the king to the Black Gate.

"For what purpose does he go to that foul land?" he hissed.

"To stage a diversion as Frodo destroyed the One Ring in the fires that created it." he replied.

"So, your king has dragged my son to the suicidal distraction. How is this better?" he growled vehemently, rage outlined in his posture.

Faramir parried "They were successful a few hours ago. Mount Doom has erupted and Sauron's tower has fallen, Mordor falling into itself."

"The Black Tower cannot be seen from here. How do you know this to be true?" he challenged.

"Tabatha has seen a vision of the tower fall." Faramir informed him.

"Yes, I have heard of her." Thranduil hissed. "I am most interested to meet this Tabatha. This fír (Sindarin, mortal) who broke my son's heart. Have her brought before me." he ordered.

"Tabatha? She didn't break it..." he cautioned.

"He was fading when he wrote his last goodbyes." The king denied in his sorrow. His once furious posture had acquired a ridged fragility, more sensed than seen, as he worked to contain his grief.

Faramir nodded to a guard to send a message to Tabatha.

…

"Final count, 58." Legolas said with a smile.

Gimli responded with a huff. "I also stand final count at 58. But mine were quite a bit more difficult than yours. I brought down a troll." he bragged.

Legolas smirked back at him, repeating "That still only counts as one."

Gimli laughed heartily.

"What say we call this competition a tie, my friend." Legolas asked.

"Aye, I could do that." Gimli acknowledged. "What will you do now that Sauron is defeated?"

"I will stay to see Aragorn crowned, before I visit my father." he answered before inviting "Would you join me before heading to Erebor?"

Gimli nodded his reply. "And what of Tabatha?" he asked.

Legolas gave a wistful smile, answering "I will ask her to join me to see my home and meet my people."

Gimli snorted. "And how do you think your father will take the news?"

Legolas's eyes grew wide. "I sent him a note when I was fading. He will have received it by now, and may have taken action." he exclaimed in alarm. "I must tell Aragorn."

Gimli choked, desperately coughing to clear his throat. "And you didn't send a follow-up after you made up?" he demanded.

Legolas flinched. "No, I didn't think of it. We left that morning."

Gimli shook his head. "You need to tell Aragorn there might be another army at his door."

Legolas shook his head, denying "He wouldn't send an army; it would strip our defenses at home. Most likely an envoy." wincing as he added "Or he'll come himself."

"And if he arrived before we do?" Gimli demanded.

"He'd be out for blood." he responded.

"Wonder what Tabatha will do if she meets him first." he guffawed in response.

Frozen, Legolas groaned "Ada? I shudder to think. I'd almost rather face the balrog again."

…

Tabatha entered the throne room cautiously. "You asked to see me Faramir?" she asked.

"Not for my sake. I'd like to introduce you to the elven king Thranduil of the Woodland Realm. Your majesty, this is the Lady Tabatha."

She raised her eyebrow at the title, before turning to greet the King and holding out her hand. "Good morning your majesty. It's a pleasure to meet Legolas's father."

"Prince Legolas" he corrected. He pointedly ignored her hand, choosing instead to study her appearance.

"Pardon me." she said, dropping the hand before smirking "We've been on an informal first name basis for months now. It's hard to revert to formalities for his father." she replied with a wink.

"You are the one who took his heart and threw it away." he leaned intimidatingly into her face "Not even allowing for the quick passing of your life to drive the dagger home," he admonished in icy tones. "You would see to his death yourself." he reproved.

"That's not fair!" she retorted.

"No, it is not." he replied, cutting her off. His eyes stabbed hers menacingly inches from her face to hiss "He was meant for better than you. To be with someone who could stay by his side for a lifetime. Help him serve his people." He berated "Instead you bound him to you for amusement."

He stalked around her, examining her every fault. "What skills do you possess? Do you even speak our language?" he demanded.

"I can learn." she replied confidently, facing him down.

He stood in front of her again, to reprimand "So you're ignorant, uneducated."

Her hand rose up to challenge his words, forcing a step back to avoid her touch. "I am not uneducated. I may not have finished school…"

Thranduil looked down at her mockingly "There is not time enough in your lifetime to teach you all you should know. Why should we bother?" he admonished.

"In Lothlorien you proved lack of class leading a game with questions too graphic to repeat." he castigated.

Spotting Faramir's concerned look in her peripheral vision, she took a deep breath, returning again to met Thranduil's eyes.

He glared at her surprise. "Did you think you could hide anything from me? I know you started to lay your traps for him in Imladris." he hissed in sibilant tones.

Anger ignited in her eyes. "You're mistaken." she bit out.

Stepping back victorious, he reproved "You hang as a millstone around my son's neck, dragging him from a place of respect in the eyes of his people. Why should I allow you in my kingdom?"

She flinched as his verbal dagger hit home. All her concerns about destroying the elven culture flooded her mind. She bit her lip hard to remain mute as she fought to erect a mask over her emotions.

"With you by his side, I would be forced to banish my own son." he scolded.

Her eyebrow rose at this before challenging "At least I love him. I wouldn't abandon him so lightly."

"Haven't you already done so?" he chided mockingly.

Floundering for a response, she admitted "I did cause him injury before we realized the depth of our bond. Which I sought to rectify when my temper cooled. He has forgiven me." she concluded.

"You have not received mine." he lashed out.

Snarling, she retorted "I have not asked." before spinning on her heel in a cut direct. At the door she paused, glancing back to Faramir, to nod in farewell.

He replied with a nod in acknowledgement.

…

"Do you suppose Frodo and Sam are alright Merry?" Pippin asked.

"I hope so." Merry responded.

"I wish Tabatha was here. She could tell us what happened." he lamented.

Eomer grimaced at the hobbit in front of him. He was ashamed of losing control, of how he treated her in his rage, and had resolved to give her his first sincere apology on his return.

Aragorn, noticing his reaction, approached to comment "Your opinion of her remains poor."

Eomer nodded in agreement.

Aragorn sighed. "I'll admit she's not easy to get to know. Her actions and words may appear vacuous, but they often disguise her true feelings and intentions. She's actually very intelligent." he informed Eomer.

Surprise crossed Eomer's features at this high praise.

Aragorn smiled softly. "She arrived from another world, knowing our future and worked to change what she could, without telling her knowledge directly, unless events had finished."

"What do you mean?" Eomer asked.

"She knew your uncle would fall. She asked for help to save him, but he refused her. He went to his death knowing it would lead to the Witch King's fall." Aragorn replied.

"By my sister." Eomer growled with a grimace.

"Yes." he scolded. "She didn't tell him who; Théoden would have tried to prevent Eowyn's coming. What only Tabatha knew was that nobody else on the battlefield but your sister could have defeated him."

Eomer flinched. "It's hard to realize. I've always protected Eowyn since our parent's death."

"Tabatha knew that. That's why she asked Haldir to support you as you waited for her to waken. She spent his debt to her to care for you." he reveled.

"I didn't realize…" Eomer said. "I had heard she saved the elves at Helms Deep, but didn't give it much credit."

"As she knew it, they all would have died there. She also saved Boromir's life, both with arrows and by creating an undershirt that acted as a different type of armor." Aragorn laughed. "She had him so focused on its pink color, that asking the reason she demanded he wear it in particular never occurred to him."

"Mayhap I've been too harsh in my judgment of her." Eomer admitted with a wry smile. "I suspect our first meeting is still coloring my perceptions. What followed didn't help either."

Aragorn's lips twitched in remembrance.

"Have you decided what you will do next?" he asked. "Your people are welcome to stay in Gondor for the victory celebration, rest and recover before heading home."

Eomer pondered his plan. "I will send half the uninjured back after the celebration, to catch any orcs still roaming, and assess the damage. The remainder can help Gondor bury our dead and start to rebuild."

"In its current state, the coronation will take some time to organize in Minas Tirith. If it is your wish as well, I'll send out your invites for both to all allies, along with the news of Sauron's defeat." Aragorn offered.

Eomer laughed. "I'd be tempted to let you write them as well. I have no great love of the pen; I'm no scholar."

Aragorn chuckled in response. "The sword is a more familiar tool to me as well." He grinned at the blond. "What say you; shall we not allow the court scribes to earn their pay and do most of the work?"

Eomer grinned. "For that, I'd remain in Gondor until after your coronation. Afterwards, we'll return to Edoras with Théoden's funeral procession for my own coronation. We should have time between then to reaffirm ties between our people and celebrate."

…

Tabatha looked around at the auction planning committee. "Think we can get Boromir to show off his pink undershirt at the auction?" she asked with a twinkle.

"I'm still wondering how you'll get him to agree." Faramir grinned.

"The best methods to get guys on board are the classics; blackmail, bets or dares. For instance, I currently have a bet with Haldir on who will raise the most money." she smirked.

"But didn't he rope you into participating for that?" Eowyn asked her with amusement.

Tabatha chortled. "Why else do you think I want to start recruiting with blackmail or dares instead?"

Eowyn sighed. "I have no blackmail on my brother. And he certainly will not do favors for you; after what you've already done to him."

"What did she do?" Faramir asked curiously.

Eowyn snorted. "Bound him naked to his bed and left a note to seek her in the morning."

Faramir turned to stare at Tabatha. "And you knew he would be king shortly?" he asked in astonishment.

"Why else do you think I did it?" she smirked at him. "I didn't think I'd get away with it later."

Eyes wide, Faramir shook his head. After the last week, he'd begun to understand why Aragorn and his brother were concerned with leaving her in the city.

She turned to Eowyn. "Challenge his masculinity to join in. Or better yet, say you will take his place if he will not be a leader to his people."

"I have no intentions of doing so." Eowyn exclaimed, with a quick dart of her eyes towards Faramir.

"Yes, but he doesn't know that, does he?" Tabatha replied with a saucy wink. "You've surprised him once, who's to say you could not do it again?"

Laughing Faramir offered. "You know, we could have a game of Truth or Dare when they return."

"What would that accomplish?" Eowyn asked.

"How do you think I got blackmail information in the past? If Truth doesn't get them, the Dares will." She said with an evil smirk.

"After hearing of your results from the first one, I have no doubt that my brother will be wary of your manipulations." Faramir cautioned.

Tabatha laughed. "But Eomer hasn't learned that lesson yet, now has he?" she taunted.

…

Tabatha ran down to the halls of healing, chased by Haldir. She burst through the doors demanding "Where are they? Where's Frodo and Sam?"

Gandalf turned to greet her. "Tabatha. They've been out most of the journey here."

"Yes, I expected that." She turned to the healer, to rambled "Frodo hasn't eaten in forever, and both are completely dehydrated. They'll need a liquid diet until their stomachs recover."

Looking at the broken hobbits, she continued "Frodo lost a finger, or part of one. He also was hit with spider venom a while ago."

"We wondered what poison the wound contained." the healer said.

Tabatha nodded, dropping into a chair to await their wakening. Haldir approached, resting a comforting hand on her shoulder. She looked up at him gratefully with a smile.

…

"Did you hear the latest? Tabatha is organizing a charity auction." Arina exclaimed, running up to her friend in the market.

"What's that?" Chrystyne asked curiously.

"It's where you compete to win the auction item." Her voice dropped to whisper with significance. "I hear they're selling a night with Boromir."

Chrystyne bounced in excitement. "Really? Just imagine what I could do with an entire night alone with him. I swear he'd marry in the morning." She concluded with a dreamy smile.

Arina snickered. "Only if you win him."

"Why would anyone go against me?" Chrystyne asked in false bewilderment.

"I just might." she said with a mischievous grin. "He'd be grateful enough to escape your clutches, that he'd marry my sister instead."

Chrystyne snorted. "Your sister couldn't handle him. He needs a real woman."

"But you would have to settle for an elf instead. I hear some of them will be up for sale." she taunted.

Chrystyne giggled. "Did you see the guy leaving the throne room this morning? It certainly wouldn't be settling to be on his arm."

"He's the elven king!" Arina berated, lightly smacking her friend's arm.

"So? That doesn't mean he won't want to dance." she laughed, rolling her eyes.

…

Tabatha looked up from her seat, to see Thranduil approaching her from the garden with Haldir. He was much more composed now; Haldir had obviously been talking about them.

"I have heard more of the skills you possess. Did you think I would remain ignorant of your actions in Rohan?" he inquired mildly, his face showing no expressions or thoughts.

"I can explain…" she sighed.

Intrigued, Thranduil asked "Really? Do you think me naïve to believe there's an explanation to why your introduction to Théoden of Rohan was made nude?" he parried.

"I _was_ in my underwear." she argued back.

"In the great hall." he clarified.

"Yes."

"And you also had reason to bind Eomer nude in his chamber?" he questioned.

"Yes."

Stunned at her forthright answer, he swallowed before he asked with trepidation "Do you seek to make me believe you are not a harlot?"

She nodded her head emphatically. "I'm no harlot." she answered.

"Go on then. Tell me the story." he coaxed.

"It's simple, I was wearing Boromir's tunic, when he demanded it back immediately. So I took it off and gave it to him just before meeting Théoden." She shrugged.

He gazed at her impassively. "You were wearing another man's tunic?" he said, censure heavy in his voice.

"Yes."

"You just climbed from his bed." he concluded tentatively.

"No, the bath. Boromir wanted to put me in a dress. I objected, and stole his tunic instead." She smirked in memory.

Haldir mentally shook his head furiously.

Seeing Haldir's expression, she backtracked "The story's not coming out right. Let me start at the beginning."

The king's eyes blinked. "It gets better?"

Tabatha just smirked. "We both arrived at Edoras from Rauros Falls."

"Where was my son?" Thranduil asked.

"He was with Aragorn and Gimli chasing the hobbits into Fangorn. They met Gandalf before rerouting to Edoras." she replied.

"So you traveled the wild alone with a man." he queried.

"Yes."

"And nothing happened?" he challenged.

She rolled her eyes at his inquiry. "Of course not. Boromir was injured and I'm not into blood games. Besides, he knew about Legolas."

"So you claim your virtue is intact?" he interrogated her.

She laughed. "No, that's long gone."

He challenged "My son wrote he never touched you in this way."

"Argh. I know that. Look I'm from a different world. One with a lot more sex, and a lot less violence. Did he not at least put that in his letter?" she demanded.

"I did not believe it." Thranduil stated blandly.

"Well then, there's not much use talking to you is there?" Tabatha spun on her heel, exiting the room quickly.

…

The smell of blood drifted on the wind.

Coughing, Tabatha looked around to see the army surrounded by orcs, pressed against the Black Gate. Metal scraped against metal in a din of chaotic sounds. Blood softened the hard packed ground underfoot, as solders desperately tried to keep position in the mêlée. Horrendous screeches drowned out cries of the dying.

She spotted the Fellowship in the center of action. She fought unsuccessfully, trying to reach them. Unseen, they ignored her efforts, instead focused on the destruction of enemies around them.

Horrified, she saw the orc raise a weapon behind Legolas. She cried his name in useless warning, watching the blade descend in slow motion towards his back. He arched in pain, dropping to his knees. Hideous laughter rang through the air, as the orc sent another blow towards her poor elf. He fell breathless to the ground.

She turned to see Gimli collapse lifeless beside him. Feet frozen in place, she sought each member of the Fellowship in turn. Their bodies leaked red into the earth, faces showcasing a painful death.

She screamed, burying her face into her hands, frantic mutters of denial falling from her lips.

A hand rested on her shoulder. She shrank away.

"Tabatha. Tabatha wake up. It's only a dream." Haldir sat on her bed, slowly stroking her shoulder, soothing her distress.

Lurching upright, she latched onto the elf, hiding her face in the junction of his neck and shoulder.

"It was terrible. I could see them all dead. Everyone I knew, gone." she wailed.

"Shhhh. It's alright. It's only a bad dream." he replied.

"But what if something happened?" she cried.

"What happened in the movie?" he questioned.

She took a deep breath, responding "Everyone lived. But Boromir wasn't there; he died at the falls."

"You must have faith. Everything else played out as it should, didn't it?" he asked.

"Yes."

"Don't borrow trouble before it arrives. We'll hear soon of the battle, and its cost. Have faith in the Fellowship, in your friends." he comforted.

"I'll try." she moaned in distress, hugging him tight.

…

Legolas looked around the forest clearing. Sunlight filtered into the center, casting dappled highlights on the emerald grass. A blanket rested in the center, where Tabatha was lying in her lingerie on her stomach.

He approached, kneeling beside her. He ran his eyes over her body. He tentatively reached for her arm, stroking up the length to her shoulder.

She roused, opening her eyes to give him a sigh. "Legolas" she breathed with a smile.

His fingers traced down the curves of her back, pausing on the ribbon of fabric delineating her hips. His middle finger compared the texture of the satin to the smoothness of her skin.

She turned to reach up with both hands and bring him down for a kiss. Her fingers stroked through his hair, thumbs tracing the outside of his ears as her tongue teased his into submission.

Her arms wrapped around him as she pressed into his body. A breath on his neck raised goose bumps as he shivered in anticipation. Her lips slowly dropped hot kisses down as her hands explored the strength of his back.

Blood raced south, engorging him hard as Mithril. He imagined he could feel her grinding against him. His breathing grew ragged. "Tabatha" he groaned.

She pulled back, freeing her hands to map the muscles of his chest. His hardened length pulsed, a siren calling for attention. A slim hand encircled him, light as air, answering the call. Seductively it mapped the length of the organ, slowly increasing its grip with each stroke. Precum beaded on the tip in anticipation.

Heart beating a staccato rhythm, he pictured his hands caressing down her spine as her hips thrust forward to meet his. His moans grew louder. Palms now gripping her ass, her slickness lubricated his turgid length. Bracing himself for entry, he looked deep into her eyes. "Le melin." (Sindarin, I love you.)

His shoulder was shaken fiercely. "Legolas. Legolas wake up."

Blinking, his eyes focused. "Gimli? What are you doing here?" he asked in bemusement.

"We're still at the Black Gates. You've been dreaming." he replied. "Loudly." he muttered.

Legolas flushed red.

Gimli crowed, smacking his shoulder. "You'll see the lass soon enough. It's time to get moving."

…

"So Tabatha, you must tell me what happened after Dunharrow." Eowyn demanded.

"Are you sure you want to know?" she asked.

"Absolutely." Eowyn dropped in the chair beside her, perched on its edge in anticipation.

"Ok. As we approach the gap in the mountain, Legolas is telling the story of the cursed men. We get to the door, see the warnings, and Aragorn strides right in with a 'I do not fear death.'" she said, imitating him. She quickly recounted the rest of the journey through the mountain.

"Then I'm in the bath, and this ghostly head pops up between my legs. I shriek, which only increases the audience." she bewailed.

Eowyn burst out into laughter.

"So I'm lying there, green head licking his lips between my legs, ghostly king and court in attendance, elves bursting through the door, men stumbling in, and Gimli following. You would think after a thousand years men would give up on sex. But no. They're as horny as ever. Even when they're dead." she lamented.

By this point, Eowyn was doubled over in laughter, tears running from her eyes.

"Toothless stuck by me during the battle, but I swear it was for female company. He only gave up the thought of sex when the curse was ended." Tabatha rolled her eyes. "Men don't ever change." she sighed.

…

"What have you done now brother?" Rumil asked, Orophin looking on.

"I've made a bet with Tabatha." Haldir answered truthfully.

Eyes rolling, Orophin asked "What trouble has she started now?"

"You both will be joining me in an auction." he replied.

"Not the one we've been hearing rumors about?" Orophin asked.

"Yes, that's the one." he acknowledged.

Curious, Rumil asked "Really? What have you put up for auction?"

With a wince, he answered tentatively "Escort during the celebration to follow."

Both of his brothers burst out into laughter.

"You fool!" Orophin cried. "You've taken the bet; do not drag us into your mischief."

"I believe Nimloth is still chasing you." Rumil said with a twinkle. "Perhaps we should send a note, ensure she's present for the auction."

Mischievously, Orophin joined in. "I agree. The only way you'll get out of escorting her is to convince someone else to buy you a way out."

"I believe we should help her acquire what she's always wanted, don't you?" Rumil said conspiringly.

"You'd help fund Haldir's night of torment?" Orophin asked.

Rumil smirked back. "Of course." he responded.

Haldir growled at his brothers schemes.

"I'd bet he finds a way out." Orophin conjectured.

"You're on brother." Rumil challenged, shaking his hand. "You'll do my laundry for a month?"

"No, you'll be doing mine." Orophin proclaimed with a grin.

"I'll start the note immediately. What's the date of the auction again?" Rumil asked Haldir.

Fed up, Haldir snarled at both of them "Remember, if you both don't plan to spend the next century on the borders, you both will be joining me."

He finished ominously. "And I shall revenge any torment threefold."

…

A ragged line of men and horses approached the city. Despite their evident exhaustion, there was jubilation in their stride.

Tabatha grabbed Haldir's arm when she saw them. She spun, racing to the healing halls, bursting through the doors breathless. "They're back from Mordor!" she cried.

Eowyn laughed at her obvious excitement. "Come than. We shall greet the returning heroes at the first level gate. I do not think you can wait until they reach the 7th level."

Tabatha seized her good arm, half dragging her out the door as Eowyn struggled to keep up.

…

Legolas rode through the gate, Gimli behind him, looking as perfect as ever. He vaulted off the horse when he saw her, swinging her around in his arms, with a relieved cry of "Tabatha" ringing in her ears.

She laughed in delight, seizing his face to pull him close for an exuberant kiss. Breathless, she pulled back to exclaim "I missed you, my shy elf."

He smiled down at her, before he looked up from her greeting to see his father's icy glare.

She followed his gaze. "Guess what?" she asked brightly. "Your father's here."


	14. New Occasions

"Ada" Legolas greeted with a nod. "Your presence here is unexpected."

"Truly? After the message you sent?" Thranduil questioned in disbelief.

"Perhaps not." he acknowledged. "It is good to see you again. If I might be allowed to cleanup from the battle, I can join you in your chambers?" he offered.

"You shall join me in one hour." Thranduil stated, eyes promising dire consequences for being late.

…

"So, unwittingly you both have bonded together." Thranduil finally stated.

"Yes ada." Legolas replied facing his father bravely.

"You truly fade without her?" he questioned in horror.

"Yes" Legolas confirmed emphatically.

"Your choice is made than, nin ion." (Sindarin, my son) He shook his head in sorrow. "I wish you had shown more caution with your heart."

Legolas smiled. "She confused me from the beginning. I was drawn to her more as she braved each challenge thrown in her path." He lost himself in memories, while explaining. "She was hesitant. She didn't know this world, its rules. Everything is so different here. She had no idea how she got here, or if she would go back the same way."

"How did she come?" Thranduil asked.

"Tabatha remembers slipping on the ice in the woods, before waking up at my feet." Legolas told him. "She was very vocal in her disagreement of my actions." He laughed. "She tormented me in punishment for what she saw as poor behavior when we thought she could be a spy. She didn't relent for months, stopping only when I asked for forgiveness." He smiled fondly, before meeting his father's eyes. "She no longer seeks my blushes during every conversation, but does manage to trigger at least one daily. She says she prefers color in my cheeks."

"You are soul-matched by the will of the Valar then." Thranduil sighed. "You will need to bring her to Mirkwood for a proper bonding ceremony. The rumors circulating about her need explanation before then. We have much work to do."

…

Aragorn looked on as he wondered how he allowed things to get so far out of hand. His friends were being sold today, a statement he never pictured himself saying. He was thankful that for some reason he was spared this humiliation. He looked over the mixed crowd, seeing laughing nobles mixing with gleeful commoners before the stage. At least his people looked happy.

"Good morning everyone." Tabatha called, jumping to the middle of the stage. "We're here today to raise money for the new orphanage fund. It will provide homes and education to children who have lost all family. For this purpose, the realms of Gondor and Rohan have promised to match contributions raised. For today's event, some of the most eligible bachelors in Arda have agreed to be sold!"

The crowd went wild, preparing for a good show.

"Yes, yes, don't get your hopes up ladies. There are limits!" Tabatha grinned at them. "There are rules for _both_ parties to follow. Nothing serious happens during the event; you talk, dance a few times and eat. That's it. So no marriage proposals." she commanded.

She paced the stage. "There will also be _no_ sexual shenanigans on my watch." She mock glared at them, before winking and whispering audibly behind her hand "I've promised the bachelors their virtues will remain intact, so no trying to take advantage of them…Despite how delectable they all are."

Several disappointed female sighs were heard in response, as various males rowdy laugher was heard dispersed throughout the crowd.

"And sadly…the last rule." she pouted at the audience. "You don't get to keep them. They're yours as an escort for the night only."

This started an unhappy grumble, with boos scattered throughout the crowd.

"But" Tabatha paused dramatically, "during the event, you could be on the arm of the most dreamy, the most entertaining, or the most roguish male found in the city." she called.

This final statement was again met with cheers echoing through the streets.

"So let's kick start this event off with one of the most eligible bachelors locally. Boromir of Gondor! Son of the previous Steward, Captain of the Guard, and member of the Fellowship of the Ring. His roguish grin will have every female melting in their dresses!" she shot him a smirk, as he was forced to listen to her hawking his virtues. "His strong sense of chivalry and propriety was evident from the first day I met him. Despite being a warrior, his strongest desire is for peace; which leaves him plenty of time to acquire new hobbies." Tabatha grinned at the gathered crowd. "Maybe some of you have ideas on how he could be spending some of it?" she winked at them.

Boromir groaned internally. 'I'll be plagued with invites now. Mayhap Aragorn will need patrols in the far corners of the realm.'

"So what am I bid for this fine male specimen? Remember, anything you give for this opportunity is going to help the orphans." she reminded.

In short order, Tabatha was calling out "Roguish Boromir – sold for 50 to the lovely Chrystyne! Handle him with care darling." she admonished.

Chrystyne squealed, running up to make arrangements for her prize. Boromir looked flabbergasted at her enthusiastic response, seeking Tabatha's eyes in confirmation that he'd agreed to escort this very young lady. When she nodded, he winced, but resolutely made his way to her side to acquire her address.

Arina sighed. "I still think my sister was the better choice."

Rousingly Tabatha began again. "Next we have Eomer, heir apparent and soon to be crowned King of Rohan. This dreamy horse lord" Eomer's eyebrow raised at Tabatha's monologue. "is looking for a night of fun before settling into his new role." Her eyes worked the crowd, finding interested parties to further entice. "As one of the Rohirrim, there's nothing he likes better than a good ride. So you can count on him having strong muscles to lead you in the dance, and not tiring easily." she hinted with a straight face.

He bit his tongue to stop a scathing response from issuing forth. He supposed she was owed some payback for his earlier assault. But he would be having a conversion with her.

Finally, his torment ended when she called "Dreamy Eomer – sold for 75!"

"Pippin is a hobbit, a Halfling if you will. His size is small, but his deeds are great. He joined Frodo before there was a Fellowship of the Ring." She chuckled, saying in an aside. "He actually proclaimed they would have to tie him up in a sack to prevent him from going." Grinning, Tabatha continued. "He convinced Treebeard to rouse the Ents, and helped save the life of Faramir, the current Steward. Pippin has proven to be the life of the party in past celebrations. This vivacious Hobbit can coax a smile out of anyone and loves food, drink and dance."

Pippin bounded across the stage after Tabatha finished calling "Party Pip – Sold for 20!"

Tabatha allowed sorrow to bleed into her voice for the next sale. "I need your help for this next one ladies. Poor Haldir has been searching for 'the one' for more than a thousand years. Rarely out of Lothlorien, the Marchwarden has tragically buried himself in his work. As he's worked to defend the borders of his homeland, his heart has been sadly neglected.

Now with peace finally here, this handsome elf has to learn again how to party and dance." She grinned at Haldir's now scowling visage. "So which lady wants to be on the arm of this handsome elf, is brave enough to turn his scowls to smiles, and can still let him go at the end of the night? Which one of you awesome ladies is up to this challenge?"

She knew Haldir had attracted lots of attention in the previous weeks. Many ladies went home sighing over his looks, dreaming of having him to themselves. Today, his scowl was causing some of them to rethink their idea to buy him for the party.

Tabatha hissed from the side of her mouth. "Smile Haldir. You wanted to beat me in the bet didn't you?" she taunted. Reluctantly, he pasted a tentative smile on, finally smiling for real when he spotted one lady fainting from his gaze.

Transfixed, the female population ogling him drew breath, before bidding began at a fevered pitch. Startled, he realized his brothers had managed to bring Nimloth to the event. But she wasn't the only elven kind bidding on him. And was that a dwarf? Were they even female?

Seeing the disappointment of those whose purse limits were passed, he was startled at the final call of "Handsome Haldir – sold for 100!"

Looking around at the envious looks shot the winner, he felt a loosening a tension long since ignored. He was desirable. Old taunts loosened their hold, vanishing in the face of this affirmation.

"And now, the final entry. Myself." Tabatha acknowledged.

"Males, I now need your help. Since this is a never-before seen event on Arda, I had to sweet talk some of these bachelors into their parts. One elf, who shall remain nameless," she said, looking at Haldir, who smirked back. "agreed to the proposal only if I also agreed to be sold. To raise the stakes, we have a bet between us on who will raise the most money."

"What do you win?" a voice called from the crowd.

"If I win, he has to organize and sit through a sexual education class with a dozen elves and Herbert." she smirked.

Shocked dead silence fell.

Haldir said, glaring down at her as he stepped forward. "And if I win, I get to teach her proper behavior. Something that would prevent statements like the last one uttered."

He drew breath to explain. "Tabatha is from a different world. One with, as she puts it, a lot more sex and a lot less violence. Before arriving here, she had never seen death, not even of meat for the cooking pot. Her many years of formal education"

"15" Tabatha called out.

"have been used to force a crimson blush on the cheek of every male she has met since arriving." He revealed, shaking his head in vexation.

"Except Gandalf." She called out. "I still haven't been able to turn him cherry yet." A smothered choking sound was heard from Gimli.

Shaking his head, Haldir pleaded with the crowd "So I beg of you. If you think you are male enough to master her…"

"I knew he was into BDSM." she said under her breath.

Haldir's cheeks flushed crimson. He whispered to her "Quiet. Do not interfere with your sales pitch." before continuing loudly "step forward now and become her escort for the evening."

"Callen, that sounds like a challenge for you!" Algar teased his friend.

Oswin snorted. "He doesn't know how to treat a lady right." he called.

"And you do?" Algar replied.

"Fine. I'll bid 10." Callen called.

"15" Oswin called, smirking at Callen.

"75." a cold voice rang out. Shocked, the crowd turned as one to see the elven king, stone-faced behind them. "I will better any amount bid for my future daughter-in-law." He warned, glaring at the males who already bid.

Tabatha leaned over Haldir to whisper in his ear. "Do you think he wanted to join the class you're organizing?"

Dumbfounded, Haldir gaped at her.

"100."

If they weren't shocked before, the remaining mouths fell open when Galandriel topped Thranduil's bid. She laughed delightedly at the warring expressions shown on the king's face.

"Two females can't dance together." Algar cried in shock.

Tabatha laughed at him. "Honey, not only can they dance together, if they do it right, they'll have drool dripping from your chin." She smirked at Galandriel. "Is that what you're aiming for?" she teased, meeting her eyes.

Able to pick pictures of Tabatha in a nightclub from her mind, she flushed, retorting with an eye roll. "Hardly. I merely wanted Thranduil to increase his donation for the cause."

"So Galandriel wants Thranduil to join the sex class." Tabatha whispered to Haldir. Horrified, he shook his head in denial.

Glaring at the other ruler, Thranduil called out "101. And if you increase my bid higher Galandriel, I shall ensure most unpleasant consequences befall you."

"She brings down Dol Guldur herself, but she should be worried about _his_ anger? Sheesh. What's a girl gotta do to get some credit around here?" Tabatha cried in sotto voce, auditable only to the elves in the crowd.

Galandriel laughed as Thranduil flushed red at the comment, snickers heard from scattered points. Celeborn smiled indulgently at his wife's humor.

Haldir quickly terminated the bidding. "Last call. Sold at 101 to King Thranduil."

…

"Tabatha, you must wear a formal gown for this occasion. You are being escorted by the elven king, your future father-in-law. I will not allow you to embarrass the world of men."

"Excuse me? How the hell did I become a representative of the world of men?" Tabatha exclaimed in trepidation.

"Thranduil does not have much known contact outside his race. As a member of our race, you become our representative." Eowyn answered briskly.

"Really? You might want to rethink that even if I survive tonight." she cautioned.

"Here's your dress." Eowyn responded. She lay out a floor-length white chiffon dress, with a modest V neckline, and long sleeves on the bed. "These are the undergarments." She added, laying a backless slip with lower V neckline, and spaghetti straps beside it. The petticoat laid on top was a plain but stiff A-line, starched to hold the skirt away from her body. Looking at the matronly clothing, Tabatha pondered hiding in the stables instead.

Finally groaning, Tabatha reluctantly put on the dress for her first fitting. She was already hating court appearances.

…

Legolas arrived at her door 15 minutes before his ada (Sindarin, father) did. Slipping in to hide in her room, he avoided her kisses, intent on coaching her behavior for the night.

"Tabatha, please, you must listen to me." he said, ducking from another attempt to capture his lips. "My father will be judging your performance tonight. If you do not respect the formalities of court, even as he allows you to live in Mirkwood for my sake, he will seek to make your life miserable. You will be sidelined in court, without the influence you hold here." he pleaded.

"Why is he so intent on holding to formalities?" she asked.

He explained earnestly, holding onto both of her hands "My father has learned that without them, especially between us and other races, agreements get twisted in time, through avarice or misunderstanding. Such a thing caused the rift between elves and dwarves. He will fear that you will reopen old wounds through ignorance, or commit our realm to agreements that will prove unsustainable over time."

"I can't promise to not open wounds in ignorance, but I can promise to not make agreements for the realm." she reassured him. "Most key people know I am not of this world. I think your ada (Sindarin, father) may be borrowing trouble where it does not yet exist."

Relieved, Legolas dropped a kiss on her forehead. "Le hannon (Sindarin, Thank you) for understanding and not dismissing his concerns."

…

Opening her door at his knock, Tabatha met the eyes of the elven king squarely. "Your majesty." She greeted with a sketchy bow.

He held out his arm for her to latch onto, before remarking "It's good that I can expect you to remain by my side for this night. Our conversations seem to have been ending with you fleeing my presence."

"I left when there seemed to be no more to be accomplished that day." she chided. "If you doubted my answers to your questions, why would I overload your mind with further truths?"

Growling, Thranduil snarled "When your responses paint disgraceful behavior as normal, how did you expect me to react?"

Pulling him to a stop, she faced him firmly. "I am from a different world. Our judgments of proper behavior are different, reflecting the societies we have been born into. I am not familiar enough with this world to know the logic behind most of these behaviors, and will not necessarily agree with the normal response when I hear it."

She drew in a deep breath. "If you allow me, I will tell you of my time here in Arda in detail. We can have a discussion on how you would have anticipated someone born here to respond.

But make no mistake; I am my own person, and capable of my own choices. I will not adopt the views so deeply ingrained in your society that they aren't ever acknowledged as constraints. I will however, attempt to show respect to the culture that generated them. I would ask the same from you."

Studying her, he responded "You have much to learn to hold your place at my son's side. You will need to learn our language, customs. Your behavior and the rumors floating around need to be addressed."

Thoughtful, he continued "If I were to accept your story, advertising you are from a different world and brought here by the Valar, it may buy some time. Those in my court hoping for a match with my son will seek to supplant you, if not in my son's affections, than in the influence his bonded mate should command. Are you up to the challenge?" he asked seriously.

Her eyes twinkled at him. "I'm sure I'll turn your court upside down. Are you ready for the turmoil?" she replied.

…

Chrystyne had been sighing internally all night. Boromir had been behaving as a perfect gentleman, but all his facial expressions appeared rehearsed. She had to do something to capture his attention, or he would never ask for her hand.

Mischievously, she slipped her foot from her shoe. Slowly she stretched it out to run it against the back of his leg.

Startled, he jumped, before turning to her with his first real roguish grin of the night. "My lady, you cannot do that tonight." he admonished, eyes glinting in mirth.

Melting as she met his eyes, she played innocent. "Oh?" she answered with a smile.

"Yes, you see…" his voice lowered seductively, "Tabatha has sworn to avenge anyone who takes advantage of our virtue. There are consequences in the contract of course, but she will not limit herself to them in defense of our honor. She is renowned for her creativeness in execution. One hint that you've abused me tonight, and she will retaliate."

He shook his head in despair. "I doubt even the king could prevent her revenge."

Unnerved, she tentatively inquired "It's rumored that she bound his majesty Eomer to his bed for such a thing."

Boromir smirked. "He was asking questions when he should have been sleeping. She ensured he got rest instead."

Eyes now wide, she probed further. "The tales say he was naked."

"I cannot confirm that." he answered with a wink.

"Spoilsport." Chrystyne retorted with a pout. "So, what did she do to you?"

Boromir didn't answer, but his face reddened in response.

…

Tabatha dashed out into the hallway. The gown Eowyn had chosen may have been fine for Edoras, but the temperature in Minas Tirith ensured her heated misery. Seeing Haldir standing in front of an alcove, she ducked behind him. "Hide me." she demanded.

Curious, he turned to enquire from what. Appalled, he watched in disbelief as she hitched up her skirt, fingers working to unlace the underlying petticoat. Finally breaking his trance, he spun around while protesting her actions.

Ignoring the disturbed elf, she sighed as the final knot freed, dropping the garment to the floor. She scooped it up, stuffing it behind a nearby statue.

"I absolve you of any responsibility." she whispered in the ear of the horrified elf. "Nobody could have stopped me from removing that hideous monstrosity. The fact it is deemed fashionable gives me little hope for the world of men." she sighed.

Snorting, he shook his head at her antics. Mirkwood would be traumatized by her coming, he reflected as he turned to watch her flounce away.

…

Tabatha stepped out on the shadowed balcony in relief. She fanned her overheated face, seeking any type of breeze against her skin.

Looking around and seeing no one, she laughed softly, before holding her arms out from her shoulders. Smiling to herself, she began to sing 'Show Me Love' by T.A.T.U. while starting to dance in sweeping movements around the balcony.

Legolas, called by her siren laugh, stood entranced in a darkened doorway. The white chiffon dress was transparent in the moonlight, allowing his eyes to record every movement of her body. Her modesty was preserved, barely, by the short slip underneath, taunting him with flashes of her exposed back and legs, before ensnaring his gaze in the plunging neckline.

As the moon hid behind clouds, her dress transformed into a demur gown, with modest neckline, long sleeves and length sweeping the floor. Impatient, he glanced at the moon, pleading with the clouds to depart.

His breath hitched as the vision she presented flickered between modest and seductive, even as the tempting words of her song washed over him.

Captivated, he finally stepped into the moonlight, approaching her swaying body unseen. "Lle merna salk?" (Sindarin: Do you want to dance?) he invited in her ear, even as his familiar woody scent surrounded her.

"Legolas" she whispered, turning. A smile lit up her face, as she was reaching to envelop him in her arms.

"I've missed you tonight." he confessed, sighing as her arms settled around him. Holding her close, he slowly began to move.

She gazed into his loving eyes, seeing the banked passion transforming to something more. Their breathing synchronized, his breath drawn in from her exhale, hers taken from his.

Her nipples hardened, outlined against the otherwise smooth line of the dress. He inhaled her aroused scent, adding fuel to his inner fire.

Relaxed in his strong frame, she made no protest as the dance ended with her pinned to the wall. Breathing ragged, he pressed his turgid length against her, slowly rubbing his hardness in contact with her skin.

Enthralled by her regard, his head descended, capturing her lips. Tentatively he placed butterfly kisses on her mouth, before running the tip of his tongue over the crease. Allowing her mouth to drop open, her tongue darted out to engage his, dueling for mastery. She moaned as he invaded her mouth, before parrying and plunging into his. A heated groan was torn from his lips.

His thoughts scattered as his thumbs trailed down her sides, causing her to shiver and clutch at him.

He wrapped his hands under her ass, hoisting her to a better angle. Suspended against the wall, she gasped as his eyes flitted to her straining nipples, before they rose again to meet hers.

"Go on." she coaxed.

Heart pounding, he lowered his head to flick his tongue against the straining bud. His eyes checked for her reaction. She plunged her hands into his hair, pulling him near.

Encouraged, he returned to repeat the process. He spent the next few minutes exploring her reactions, before finally encasing her to suckle the tips.

She bucked against him, whimpering in denial when he pulled back, startled by her emphatic reaction.

"No…" she pleaded. "Don't stop. I love what you're doing to me."

Reassured, he continued to torment her. Soon her whimpers turned to muffled shouts as he learned to spur on her body's reactions.

Panting from his ministrations, she circled her hips tantalizingly against his elfhood. Now leaking precum, he gave a guttural groan as the pleasure originating from his cock tripled. The need to plunge home was beginning to overwhelm him, as mutual lubrication smoothed the glide against her.

No longer aware of his location, his hand slipped beneath her gown, feeling for those ridiculously small thongs she continued to wear. He slipped his finger under the hem, enjoying the contrast of satin and skin on different sides of his finger. Hooked, he drew them down her legs into a ball of concentrated scent. Eyes locked with hers, he brought them to his nose for a heady sniff, before hiding the bundle in his pocket. "I shall never return them." he promised with a mischievous smile.

"Then I shall have to acquire more." she acknowledged. "Unless you want me to go bare." she teased.

Groaning at the image, his forehead dropped to hers. "I could never survive such a choice."

She grinned at his vehement statement, wrapping her legs tighter around him, pressing his erection further against her answering wetness. Moaning, his lips again sought hers.

Their minds blanked, lost in the touch of the other.

…

Their kisses were finally interrupted by a voice from the dark. "You seem to have stolen my date, nin ion." (Sindarin, my son) Thranduil said, stepping onto the lit balcony behind them.

Pupils still blown wide, Legolas slowly turned to face him, shielding his mate from view. His obvious hardness drew a scowl from his ada (Sindarin, father).

"I expect you to control yourself until we reach home Legolas. Our people deserve a proper celebration after this war, even to such a mate as you have chosen." he reproved.

Thranduil's eyes focused on the disheveled Tabatha. "Will you not rejoin me? I suspect your efforts to cool down will be more successful inside, despite the temperature."

His arm held out demandingly, he waited her acquiescence.

"As you wish." she replied with a saucy wink.

She met Legolas's floundering heated gaze with a smile. "Until later, my love." She pecked him lightly on the cheek, drawing back with a sexually repressed shudder. "Le melin." (Sindarin, I love you.)

"Le melin." (Sindarin, I love you.) he responded.

She disentangled herself from Legolas to approach the king, placing a hand resolutely on his arm.

Mournfully, Legolas watched his ada (Sindarin, father) pull his love back into the celebration. He looked up to the traitorous moon, before he placed his hand in his pocket, finding the tangible evidence of her damp tong. Giving a small wistful smile, he trailed after the pair, wondering if anyone would notice her missing undergarments in the bright light indoors. Growling with jealousy, he hoped not.


	15. Bonded

Boromir gripped his drink in abject misery. Chrystyne had been worse than he anticipated.

After he had stopped her flirtations, she had filled his ear with all the gossip of court events occurring during his journey with the Fellowship. When his reaction to some 'shocking' events was too mild, she proceeded to explain in detail _why_ the events were so shocking; by giving the history of all parties involved. Going back generations. How did she remember it all?

He signaled for a refill.

…

Aragorn leaned over to speak with Faramir. "Your brother looks like he could use a rescue."

Faramir looked over.

Chrystyne was latched onto him, her breasts pressed into his arm. With the plunging cut of her dress, he probably had a view down it to her belly button. However his eyes never strayed down, but sought the exits instead.

He never spoke, merely grunting in response when forced. The chatterbox beside him seemed to be conveying words of importance, her intensity and passion driving away all interruptions.

"I'll see what I can do." he replied with a grin.

…

"Brother, will you not introduce me to your charming date?" Faramir asked.

"Faramir, this is Chrystyne, daughter of Hamir." Boromir replied.

Faramir smiled at the very young lady, now tongue-tied between them. "If I may steal your date for a dance brother?" he questioned.

Shyly she nodded, as the current steward swept her onto the dance floor. Boromir sighed in relief, sending a look of gratitude to Aragorn.

…

Thranduil led Tabatha back into the hall. "Lle merna salk?" (Sindarin: Do you want to dance?)

Tabatha shook her head. "I don't know these types of dances."

Thranduil's eyebrow rose at her response. "But you will learn, won't you? Starting tonight." he affirmed.

Meeting the challenge in his eyes, she mischievously replied "Only if you disavow injuries to your feet in the morning."

…

Eowyn shook her head as she surveyed the damage. Apparently the hobbits had led a raid into the pantry, collecting a large quantity of alcohol, before stealing Gandalf's fireworks again. They were caught by the wizard, firing them off the watch tower during the party.

At least she had additional 'volunteers' now to help with the cleanup. The hobbits and their dates were joined by the normal cleaning staff. All would be needed to make a dent in this mess she sighed.

"My lady, sorry to trouble you." a servant curtsied to Eowyn. "I found this in the hall." she reported.

"Where?" Eowyn growled, recognizing the petticoat instantly.

"Behind the statue of the Yavanna, Valier of Fertility."

She snorted, before taking the garment and stalking off to find Tabatha.

…

Resigned, Haldir organized the sex education class. Public knowledge of the bet ensured he found himself cornered frequently for invites to the event over the coming days. He cursed himself for falling into Tabatha's trap, and for allowing knowledge of their bet to be made public.

He was not surprised that both Legolas and King Thranduil had demanded to be included; the former to prevent his ignorance from showing during their bonding, and the latter to acquire firsthand knowledge of her 'education'.

He was surprised when Lady Galandriel announced she wanted to be part of the class. She passed it off as wanting to acquire knowledge to better advise her people, but her eyes strayed to her husband during the speech. His ears were faintly colored red at the tips as Celeborn expressed his wish to accompany her. He respected both too much to deny them, but felt deeply uneasy about being in the same room as a co-ed sex class, especially with his Lord and Lady.

Despite his embarrassment, Lord Elrond had asked to join as head healer of Imladris. Elrond's sons, Elladan and Elrohir, had asked to join to cause him mischief. Glorfindel had asked to join to relieve his boredom.

He was coercing his brothers to come. They had carried out their threat to both summon and fund Nimloth, but the purse ran too high. Since then, she remained in the city seeking to finally attain his affections; but he would rather kiss an Orc. Aside from her grating voice, she had no care of him, only for the prestige of his position.

He winced when Tabatha suggested inviting Erdolliel and Tolandiel as students. After their experience in her Truth and Dare game, he was sure both would refuse. Apparently not, as the game had broken their ennui, a hard thing to do at their age. Resigned, he added their names to the list. It was complete.

…

"So, do you know who Haldir will have at the class you've forced him to organize?" Eowyn asked her.

"No idea." Tabatha cheerfully replied. "It doesn't really matter; anyone he finds will still make him embarrassed. He'll be delightfully red for days."

Eowyn just shook her head.

She opened the door, to find the top elven leadership of three realms waiting inside. She raised an eyebrow at Haldir standing at the front of the class, who smirked in challenge. Narrowing her eyes at him, Tabatha stepped into the room to face her class.

…

Legolas closed his eyes in torment. This had been a bad idea. Her voice washed over him, explaining the purpose to different types of sex toys. He previously had no idea such things were possible, but now images of Tabatha using such things tormented his mind.

He wished he dared ask to borrow the cock-ring for the remainder of the class.

His erection, hard as Mithril, taunted him relieve the pressure, even as he fought not to spill from her words alone. He would not embarrass himself. He wouldn't.

Glancing around the room, he discovered his state echoed in the conditions of his kin. He swallowed as he saw the grief and loss in the eyes of his ada (Sindarin, father), even as his robes hid his hardness. Only as his son, could he spot the unnatural stillness of his posture, held rigidly upright in the chair.

Saddened, but able to focus once again, he turned back to watch Tabatha, listening to her voice torment him further. This had been a bad idea.

…

Tabatha bent down to give each of the hobbits a hug and a cheek kiss. Ears red, Pippin cried out "We're going to miss you Tabatha."

"No worries Pippin. I'll pop by the Shire sometime and catch up. After all, you have to confirm if you really like flavors best." she smirked at him.

Puzzled, he looked at her. "Flavors?" he questioned.

Merry poked him in the side. "By the falls Pip. When you were talking about lube." he whispered quietly.

Gimli crowed with laughter as Pippin flushed red.

The rest of the Fellowship hid their smiles, recalling the many times all of them had been equally embarrassed over the last year. Their final goodbye was bittersweet, but the memories made would never be forgotten.

…

Legolas stood, framed in the doorway of her room. His blood raced through his veins, pooling in his groin as she bent over, packing another garment into her bag.

"Tabatha" he called.

Turning to spot him, her face broke into a grin as ran across the room to take a flying leap into his arms.

Smiling, he caught her, feeling her slide down the length of his body.

She smirked as she felt his hardening elfhood press against her. "I guess you're happy to see me." she chortled, her lips seeking his.

Breathless, minutes later, they parted.

"What are you doing here? she asked.

"I wanted to speak with you, before we left the city." he responded.

Smiling at him, she asked, "What did you want to talk about?"

"Come, join me in the King's garden." he asked.

"Of course." She slipped her hand into his, as he led her away.

…

"This garden is beautiful." she sighed, sitting beside him on a stone bench.

He faced her, running his fingers slowly down the side of her face, gazing deeply into her eyes. "Lle naa vanima." (Sindarin: You are beautiful)

"I came to give you this." he replied, holding out a closed fist.

Her eyes searched his in puzzlement, before she held out her hand, gasping when she saw the silver ring he set resting in her palm.

"It is customary among my people to exchange rings to lay claim to our chosen mate. You are mine. Will you wear it, accept me and all that I am?" he asked, voice tight with nervous tension.

"You already have my heart, as I have yours. Le melin (Sindarin, I love you.) she said, fingers caressing his face in a soothing path from temple to jaw, before stretching forward for the sweetest kiss yet. "Of course I'll accept it." she whispered into his ear.

Smiling at her reaction, he reached out to grasp it again. "Allow me." he pleaded, fingers unsteady with emotion, fumbling with the ring.

Nodding, she held her breath as he slid the ring down her finger.

He smiled as she immediately touched the ring, confirming it was really there, that she wasn't dreaming. His hands ran over her arms to squeeze her hands, before gently pulling her closer into an embrace.

Unsatisfied, her hands reached around his neck, pulling him down for a series of heated kisses. Her teeth nipped at his neck, alternately biting and licking a heated path.

Her body pressed against his, she danced her hips in a slow grind against his straining arousal.

Gasping her name, his hands sought to still her movements, even as she stoked his passion higher. "Tabatha, we cannot. It is custom to wait for the night of bonding to consummate our love."

Grinning, she smirked up at him. "Well, when can we bond? Is next week too late?"

His head dropped to rest against her forehead. "One year."

"What?" she asked in disbelief.

"One year. It's customary to be engaged for at least one year before bonding."

"You expect me to be satisfied with Herbert for one year?" she asked, volume rising.

"One year is nothing in the lifelines of our people." He responded. "It is common for engagements to last much longer, decades even."

"No way in hell am I waiting that long. What do I have to do to change that deadline?" she demanded.

"Speak to my Ada" (Sindarin, father) he replied.

She sighed. "Of course, it's talk to your father."

"Now you must leave me." Legolas pleaded, kissing her tenderly "before my strength fails…" came the almost inaudible finish.

Unrepentantly, she leaned forward to steal one more kiss, before slipping away into the night. She had a king to find.

…

The argument with Thranduil had grown heated, with the elven king alternately lauding the purposes of tradition and deriding the short lives of man.

Finally Tabatha had enough, exploding. "You, who flayed me verbally for the short lives of men, would deny your own son time with me? We already have a partial bond; he fades without me." She invaded his space, nose nearly pressed to his. "Why do you seek to cause him pain?"

He sneered at her. "It should not have happened."

"But it did." she retorted, before demanding. "So when are you going to get your head out of your ass, and allow your son to be happy?"

Growling at her, he furiously spat "Your vulgarity has no place in my court."

"Well, we don't exactly _have_ to live in your court, now do we?" she told him scornfully.

Eyes flaying her he finally caved. "One month. I demand one month to prepare my people for this union."

Bowing her head mockingly at him, she replied "So glad we had this conversation."

…

_**1 month later**_

 

...

"Now you must leave me." Legolas pleaded, kissing her tenderly "before my strength fails…" came the almost inaudible finish.

"You'll see me in the morning a'maelamin. (Sindarin, beloved)" she replied.

"Arwenamin." (Sindarin, my lady) he breathed, forcefully tearing himself out of her presence. She would be his bond mate tomorrow.

…

Boromir knocked on her door. It was time.

"It's open." Tabatha called.

She stalked towards him, kicking the hem of her dress out of her way. A roguish grin broke over his face as he spotted her disgruntled expression.

"Perhaps the dress would not bother you so if you had proper undergarments on." he smirked, having heard the tale of last public disrobing from Haldir.

She growled at his humor, even as she accepted his arm. Boromir, as the member of the Fellowship she was closest to, and a representative of the world of man, had been asked to stand in the place of her family.

She smiled as she was led to the bonding grove. Only the hobbits were missing, the rest of the Fellowship was present. Even Gimli had endured the frosty welcome of the elves to witness their joining.

…

Galandriel selected a multi-colored woven cord and bound Legolas's and Tabatha's hands together. "As you place this ring upon the finger of your chosen love speak the words that shall bind you to each other mind, body, and soul in the Unity of the Life bond."

Gazing deeply into her eyes, Legolas spoke freely "I, Legolas Greenleaf, take thee, Tabatha Baker, to my hand, heart, and my spirit, at the setting of the sun, and the rising of the stars. Nor shall death part us, for in the fullness of time, we shall be born again, at the same time, and in the same place as each other, and we shall meet and know and remember and love again."

"I, Tabatha Baker, take thee, Legolas Greenleaf, to my hand, heart, and my spirit, at the setting of the sun, and the rising of the stars. Nor shall death part us, for in the fullness of time, we shall be born again, at the same time, and in the same place as each other, and we shall meet and know and remember and love again."

He met her eyes filled with churning emotions of love, lust and anticipation. Legolas allowed his small secretive smile to blossom.

"As the grass of the fields and the trees of the woods bend together under the pressures of the storm, so too must you both bend when the wind blows strong. But know that as quickly as the storm comes, so equally quickly may it leave. Yet as you both stand strong in each other's strength, so shall you receive strength. Together you are one; apart you are nothing.

Let the sun, and the moon, and the stars, and these our brothers and sisters bear witness that Legolas Greenleaf and Tabatha Baker, have been joined together. And may they bless them, as we do ourselves, and so shall the two be conjoined as one mind, one heart, and one soul together in peace and love through the union of Life Bond now and forever."

…

King Thranduil turned to announce to his people "This is Tabatha Baker, brought to Arda by the will of the Valar. She joins our family as soul-match to my son, Legolas Greenleaf. Welcome to the family." he said, placing his right hand on her left shoulder.

"I thank you for this welcome." she replied, placing her right hand on his left shoulder in return.

He released her shoulder to pin a family jewel to her collar.

…

_**Wedding night** _

…

She moved forward into the room. Glancing over her shoulder at her new husband, she smiled seductively, asking "Can you help me from my gown?"

His nose tickled her ear, breathing in her scent. "As you request, arwenamin." (Sindarin, my lady) His hands trailed up her arms, reaching the row of tiny buttons over her spine. Slowly, too slowly, he released each button, pausing to place a kiss as each new button exposed more skin.

By the time he'd reached the bottom of her shoulder blades, she was panting with need. "Legolas" she moaned. "Sometime today please."

"Patience my love." he replied with a smirk, continuing his slow torture. Finally, he reached the end.

She allowed the dress to fall, skimming over her skin like a kiss.

Enraptured, his eyes drank in her glorious body. She twisted around, capturing his lips hungrily. Her hands reached for his clothes, even as he held her wrists to prevent her. "Slowly my love. I want to savor every inch of you." he breathed.

Nodding in understanding, she fought to control her passion. Her breathing evened. Her hands once again reached for his clothes, removing each piece with matching methodical slowness.

He shivered under her light touch. No one, other than his parents, nannies or healers had ever touched his body, except her. Her fingers traced the pattern of muscles and bone as each was exposed, running her lips and tongue over each new area revealed.

She knelt before him, eyes in line with his twitching hardened member. Her fingers deliberately grazed him as she removed the ties to his leggings. Her hands ran down both sides of his legs, slipping his them into a pool at his feet.

Her eyes met his with a mischievous smirk, before she leaned forward, to blow a heated stream of air on his elfhood. He groaned in response. Precum beaded at the tip, glistening in the light. Her tongue darted forward to capture the first drop. It jumped at her touch. Eyes blown wide with desire, he called her name.

This time a delicate hand reached out to fondle his balls. She rolled them around, mapping the feel of them, even as her other hand continued to stroke his leg. Her mouth moved forward to close around him, her lips sinking over him in a heady caress.

Retreating, she focused on kitten licks to his head, with the occasional swipe along the underside of the cap. Her thumb explored the vein on the underside. An eternity later, she again sank over him. Her tongue was now tracing his length, even as her throat swallowed around him.

Breathing erratic, he pleaded an endless confused babble of requests for more, as his saner side begged her to stop. With one final kiss to the tip, she rose to her feet.

Unfocused, his eyes cleared to watch her turn her back to him, bending over straight legged as her current tong was removed. His eyes followed the movement of the tiny scrap, darting back for a glimpse of her hidden secrets.

Her fingers unlatched her bra. She allowed it to slide off, using her hands to still hide her breasts from his view as she faced him again. His tongue darted out to wet his suddenly dry lips.

Slowly, she revealed herself, using her hands to caress herself, following the path of his exploring eyes. Her eyes glinted in humor as her movements tore a moan from his throat.

"Lle naa vanima" (Sindarin: You are beautiful) he breathed, finally seeing her entirety. Unbidden, his hand reached for her, delicately touching her. "I've dreamed of this moment, a time I might see all of you. Thoughts of you have tormented me this past year."

She smiled, placing her hand over his to coax him further. "Touch me. Explore what you see. Learn my body, even as I learn yours." she pleaded.

Another moan was choked off in his throat. Tentatively his hands mapped her body, feeling the silkiness of her skin, the muscles flexing beneath. He leaned forward tasting her with his tongue. It darted out of his mouth for a quick flick at her nipple. Receiving a shuddering moan in return, he tried again, finally latching his lips around her. She bucked under his tender ministrations.

Grinning at her responsiveness, he finally sank to his knees to explore the area between her thighs. She spread her legs, allowing him access to both see and feel her. His nose captured the scent of her arousal.

He blew across her. She jumped, fluid leaking down her thigh. Entranced, his finger caught a drop, bring it to his mouth to suck on.

His fingers explored the unfamiliar region. He discovered her clit, smirking as she jumped at first touch. He reached back, trailing his fingers to split her folds, revealing her center to his eyes.

Tentatively, he leaned forward to touch his tongue to her sex. Her enthusiastic moan encouraged him to continue. "Legolas" she cried, no longer steady on her feet. She was forced to grip his head, fingers slipping through his silky locks as she fought for balance.

Rising swiftly, he swept her into his arms. He lay her across their bed, gazing deeply into her eyes. "Tabatha, I will not last much longer. Will you…" he asked hesitantly.

She smiled at him, before rolling him over onto his back. Her knees beside his hips braced her upright as she slid herself teasingly up and down his length, before finally, finally sinking down on his cock.

Leaning forward to brace on her hands, she sent a heated breath over his ear. Helplessly he bucked underneath her, groaning as her wet heat gripped his hardness. The sensations were overwhelming; he lost himself in their tidal wave, losing all awareness of his surroundings for the first time since he was an elfling.

"Tut, tut Legolas. I'm in control here." she chided him. Her feet slipped over his thighs, allowing her to maintain a position just over the cap, with occasional slides down the entirety of his elfhood. Within minutes, he was a wreck, incoherent with need.

Finally, he moaned in despair. "Please, Tabatha. Please…I need you. Don't torment me any longer. Please my love. Bind with me." he begged.

She relented with a sigh, sinking fully over him, capturing his mouth for a kiss. She lay against him, setting a staccato rhythm punctuated with breaths racing over his ear.

His hands gripped her hips, supporting her movement as he matched her furious pace. He felt her clutch his cock tighter; a rising urgency rose within him. When her tongue traced the outline of his ear, nibbling at the point, he exploded.

Seed shot into her body as she milked him for every drop. Blackness descended.

Breathless, exhausted, she collapsed on top of him, burying her face into his neck. Her eyes flickered closed.

Waking, his eyes captured hers for a tender moment. "You are mine as I am yours, to the end of our days and beyond. May our lives together be blessed."

She ran her fingers through his hair in response. "Always my love, always."

…

_**Epilogue** _

…

Tabatha cursed her sore feet, as she dropped into a nearby chair. Legolas smiled at her, kneeling to remove her shoes and massage the tension from them.

"Do not worry arwenamin. (Sindarin, my lady) Soon your feet will no longer ache when our children arrive." His eyes traveled her length, skimming with pleasure over her very pregnant belly. "The Valar have blessed us again with twins; my joy is boundless."

"Blessed my ass. They should try carrying them." she snorted tiredly.

Smiling at her venom, he moved to sit behind her, coaxing her forward to allow his hands access to massage her back.

She let out a heartfelt moan, allowing her head to drop on his shoulder. "Le melin" (Sindarin, I love you.) she sighed.

"Le melin. Always my love." he replied.

Her hair was darker now, hips widened with multiple births and her breasts dropped by gravity; yet she remained the love of his life, his most beautiful mate. Always.

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> This is it, the end to Tabatha's and Legolas's story. She may appear as a match-making troublemaker to the remaining single males in spin-offs.
> 
> I believe in strong women, who aren't ashamed of their bodies. We all have fears, areas that aren't perfect, but why should we allow these fears to take over our lives, to make us small? Live large, and go for what you want. You deserve it.

**Author's Note:**

> Slap me with a wet noodle in a review if I miss spelling errors, have wrong word choices or grammatical errors (Characters will make them in speech); the trinity of horrific writing errors, far worse than a Mary Sue. ;-) Posted on FFNet in Jan; errors should be corrected now.
> 
> Unbeta'd Harsh criticism welcome. Effusive praise too. ;-)


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